at long last...

i don't usually do new year's resolutions...but this year i think i am going to: blog more. talking with some mom friends the other day, a friend mentioned that at times moms (or parents) forget as our kids get older that we still need that community we may have created while the kids were babies or toddlers.

& i am so guilty of letting this go...whether blogging community or our playgroup. that community was such a support during some stressful moments. i mean, i received not just words of encouragement, but the knowledge that i wasn't alone when my girlies were beyond frustrating. & i even had other bloggers send me gifts of encouragement (or to my mom! hello, friends). part of the reason i've pulled back from blogging this year is because some of the things most affecting me right now, well, i can't write about them on a blog, they're just too personal for me or someone else. ugh.

so all that to say: i want to be more present in this blogosphere.  not meaning i'll blow the cover on what are the more personal things, but i'll be here more to read what others are going through & offering some of my own stories & such.

there is my resolution! hold me to it!

***

now for the fun part: pictures!

 millie-bean's preschool christmas performance

 while the class sang "up on the housetop" amelia & her co-reindeer (summer, our neighbor!) got to jump out of the line onto the platform. then when santa is mentioned, that kid dressed as santa also jumped out. i didn't think amelia would do that, but she did. so cute, so proud.

the train

 addy's addy doll clothes gifts from grandma sue & paw paw bruce.

wes wearing one of amelia's gifts: belle's tiara. 

post-gift play time

amelia is one of the speediest gift openers ever. she was through her gifts in no time, then began playing immediately, usually with a huge smile & lots of jumping on wes & i squealing: i love you! thank you for my gifts! *smile*

 

 the gift i searched the most for...

a large, stuffed pinkie pie. *sigh* AND crumbs sugar cookie lalaloopsy (not pictured here) of which i somehow bought THREE. 2 were ebay mistakes, 1 i found very cheap at a thrift store!  anyway, this smile & addy's love of them this month has made it all worth it...

 after opening gifts the girls immediately went & packed for gramum & pop pop's house. & then they laid by the door, begging wes & i to "be ready" or "what's taking you so long?!" "can't we just eat breakfast in the car?" etc etc. wes even had to take them out of the car once...

by far, adeline's fav gift of the christmas: a guitar. she now walks around the house doing performances, & is actually pretty musical. (must fine piano & guitar lessons for her)

what its all about: cousins!

shock & awe: a mini doll castle!

tea party the day after christmas. my mom even provided fancy hats!

more of the tea party...

loveliest of all: my deariest friend, holli & newborn, Aoife (ee-ffa). both are so sweet & doing well.

i think i need to visit these two again...very, very soon.

& another friend, stephanie & brice had a wee adorable baby, crimson. who is totally adorable & all & whom i also want to visit with soon...gee, what a lucky friend i am to have all these babies around! 

***

what a month, eh? i'm hoping january goes by  just as fast as december, mostly because of my annoying cleanse. folks have asked if i'm doing this for weight loss. big answer: no!!! it's been suggested by my doctor & a new dietician. the purpose is to detoxify my body/cells. so my cells are apparently very elderly, according to a test done by the dietician. so hopefully by the end of the 28 days, my cells will be more hydrated & larger, meaning that toxins are taking less out of my cells. i hope this is making some sense, *smile*. so today starts the intense part of the cleanse: 7 days of specific fruits & veggies only, in addition to this DISGUSTING medical food that i mix with fresh apple juice, 3 times a day (plus some detox pills). kinda unique for a home baker to not be able to eat sugar or carbs (or caffeine!). supposedly this week i should begin to feel better, maybe even amazing...but so far i am gassy & bloated & grumpy &  my fibro still is loud & proud. argh!

***

enough of that...i think i could complain about it for a very long time. ah well. so now i must get amelia her lunch, then pick up addy, then take amelia to the neighbor's house (carpool is awesome, eh?), then get addy her lunch, then do some housework crap, then pick up the preschoolers, then...sudoku? somewhere in there is a lot of laughing & chasing down little girls from their hiding places & forcing socks & coats on & reading books to them & having them read books to me & playing legos... good stuff mixed with the BLAH.

everything good comes to an end.

after nearly a week of creation, we have a new blog site. i have tried for 17 1/2 months to find a suitable substitution for our adventures blog...but here it is:

http://trippingoverhappiness.blogspot.com/ .

if you have a link to this blog, i believe you will have to reset it to the new one. unless you want to keep going from one to the other *smile*.  all previous posts from this blog can be viewed through the new site. 

***

wes & i were upstairs w/ amelia in the evening right before bath time. adeline was downstairs moping, crying, screaming, etc. throwing a good 'ole tantrum. suddenly, after minutes of crying she stops. then she just starts to giggle & jabber away happily about something. we hear her coming up the stairs, giggling. wes turns to me & says: what'd she do? trip on happiness? so that's the story behind the name. it may be corny, but that's us, i guess.

***

good bye, my blog-friend. so often you were there for me when (it seemed as if) there was nothing or no one else to turn to. don't think of this as me replacing you with a better version...it was just time to move on.

the *where does the baby come from* talk

so last night as wes told adeline a story that involved me being pregnant adeline had a thoughtful look on her face. it may have been b/c most of this story wes was telling involved intricate details about the airplanes we were flying on. you know, things wes loves (he frequents an airliner site more than our own blog, i'm sure of it). the gist of the story was that addy's mommy & daddy went on vacation & then we had to go on a big airplane to get back to addy (this is a true story, when wes & i went to california when 5 months prego w/ amelia; wes was taking one of his engineering tests).

so amelia was not in the story which totally baffled adeline, right? she kept adding "& baby too!" when wes would say 'adeline was missing her mommy & daddy & was looking out the window for them to come home' ... i then asked her if she remembered when mommy was pregnant with amelia, when amelia was in mommy's big belly.

addy's eyes opened wide with recognition & she was responded: baby in mommy's belly. pull, pull, pull, mommy, pull!

the parents response: huh? where did you learn pull from?

adeline: baby come out of mommy's belly. mommy so happy.

parents {shocked} yes, that's right addy.

me: do you know who helped pull amelia out of mommy's belly?

adeline: uuuhhhh, daddy?

me: well, daddy too, but a doctor helped pull amelia out of mommy's belly.

adeline: {wide eyes. shocked face. seriously concerned furrowed brows. mouth in perfect o-shape. staring at me like i just said i was dying tomorrow. nearly in tears.}

wes & i realize that we just traumatized our preschooler. but wes continues: well, it was more like mommy pushed amelia out.

adeline: {looks even more traumatized. still saying nothing, just staring}

me: well, you were in mommy's belly like that before. that's how baby's come out, they grow in their mommy's belly!

wes: weren't you so happy when amelia was born & came home?

adeline: {with a weak, quiet voice. obviously still traumatized} yes, baby sister, so happy.


we said a few more meaningless additions...but adeline just seemed to have this quizzical look on her face the next few minutes. i mean, it's not like we were like: YOU CAME OUT OF MOMMY'S VAGINA! BLOOD WAS EVERYWHERE! MOMMY POOHED ON THE DELIVERY BED MINUTES BEFORE YOU WERE BORN! it was a very safe conversation but for some reason a doctor being involved in the whole situation just totally freaked her out. (she has no idea how wonderful the midwife & dr who delivered her were in comparison to amelia's delivery). maybe she thought it was the doctor she doesn't care for (well, i don't care for him either). who knows. but we for sure freaked her out. no worries, she seems fine this morning. (although last night at 9 p.m. she woke up screaming & crying after being asleep for half an hour...hhmmm).

***

update on hitting amelia: she's only chased adeline around the house 3 times this morning with a box, trying to hit her. really, adeline *runs* from her & amelia chases her, laughing. i stopped it once i figured out what was going on, but come on! adeline, just turn around & clobber the girl (you have 15 pounds on her! & quite a few inches! & coordination!). but instead i nabbed amelia, took the box & put it out of arm's reach. then amelia got the very mad-mom face & was firmly scolded...i went on for about 45 seconds & still amelia didn't wipe that smug grin off her face!

so now i'm wondering if this is just going to be amelia, trying to get her sister's goat constantly... or anyone else for that matter (she's hit a few other kids from time to time). sitting in time out seemed to cool her jets & then the 2nd time i gave her another round of mean mom voice, but this time she wasn't still smiling about it all. the 3rd time (*sigh*) i did the mean mom voice again & flicked the hand that she uses to hit. her lip trembled & then i put her in another time out. she came out of time without hitting for a whole 10 minutes now!

***

as for me, we stupidly went out to eat last night b/c i was feeling too miserable yesterday to make dinner, wes had no clue what to make...i should not have eaten out yet b/c my stomach is so queasy & there are signs of imminent & intimate toilet lovin' coming up soon. ugh. i know i shouldn't be drinking coffee w/ such a weak stomach, but how else will i get through today?!

i had hoped to make it somewhere to do some valentine's gift shopping (for the girls & wes) but i dunno if i'm going to take these girls out. hmm. it's just that last valentine's day wes got a card & a small gift for me ... & i didn't get him *anything*. not even a card. b/c i thought we weren't doing anything for valentine's day (i think we did get to go out for dinner last year???). so this year, dear wesley, i will have at least something for you.

post-sickness blues

yesterday after i took my turn vomiting (yes!) & then fell into this semi-sleep stupor i started to day dream about eating that piece of toast. isn't that lame & pathetic? so sad. there comes a day soon after having the flu when a person really wants to *eat*. last night was wes' night. sunday was amelia's night. i'm not sure when addy's night will come b/c she just doesn't really want to eat at all anymore. i'm thinking tonight or maybe tomorrow around noon i'll be feeling that way. until then, i just want a thick piece of buttered toast & a cream-based soup. that's all. & b/c i'm slow & haven't made gf bread yet, i can't indulge in my dream. and i just had gf cooking disaster #3: i tried to make a creamy soup base for the not-so-yum-anymore chicken rice soup i made the other day (after several days of eating nothing but this, you understand my desire to eat something different?). it turned into this pile of rice flour, but i dumped a bowl of soup on it anyway & ate it (b/c i'm that hungry).

but i don't think i'm the only one with the post-flu blues b/c we've all been sick now & we all seem to be a bit grumpy & pissy with each other. amelia continues to just be plain rotten to her sister & adeline also continues to be plain rotten back. i understand the frustration this way: adeline knows hitting is wrong, so when amelia hits her & she wants to hit her back...but she won't = frustrating. so she comes to us with that whiny fake-cry, saying, baby hit me, wahh waahhh. around 5:30 last night wes & i both agreed that we are so ready for adeline to just wallop her sister a hard one so maybe amelia will learn her lesson the hard way.

so, that's really what i was going to blog about: hitting & pooping on the potty (preschool-style)

1) adeline wasn't a hitter & apparently still isn't b/c she will not hit her sister back (she will push her, but that's it). yes, this is a good thing but much of our parenting style is letting natural consequences take their toll. you know, if you sit at the bottom of a slide, there's a very good chance another kid will rocket down on top of you, which hurts, but lesson learned. (gah, unless the other kid's parent is standing there being all concerned saying 'wait for that child to move before you slide' which just frustrates me to no end.)

since adeline is refusing to take part in the sibling hitting matches--come on!--we're not quite sure what else to do. we've put amelia in time-outs (for 1 minute?) but i don't think she quite understands the time out yet. we have not tried hitting her back ourselves--although i must admit today i was so close to trying after adeline was crying between my legs for the 10th time in 10 minutes & then amelia walks over with a cardboard block in her hand & bangs it on addy's head again. right in front of me. then starts laughing.

seriously, what to do? she's 17 months old! i've tried to focus on her good behavior & reward her for it...but it doesn't seem to make a difference. any thoughts that have worked for you & your hitting toddler?


2) adeline pooped on the toilet! this is amazing, fantastic, etc. about two weeks ago i decided to just forget trying to get her to crap on the crapper...i gave her back control over her pull-ups (we had been storing them on a top shelf in a closet & giving them to her only after she tried to poo on the toilet first). but it was becoming too much of a battle between us & i could tell it was seeping into everything. adeline was just becoming an emotional wreck constantly.

so i gave up trying & we went back to cleaning a near-big-girl butt a few times a day. a butt that is prone to diarrhea *sigh* anyway, today just after returning from picking adeline up, i was upstairs changing amelia's poopy diaper (the 3rd one today, also diarrhea...my girls have it in for their parents) & adeline shouts 'I DID IT!' & then goes on to tell me that she peed in the potty. i was like 'well, that's just wonderful' b/c she's been pee-potty trained for quite awhile now. then she tells me that the poop feels bad on her butt. i jumped around & shouted: DID YOU POOP IN THE POTTY?! & ran downstairs to check. there it was, sunk to the bottom of the toilet. i've never seen such a beautiful site before.

so i started singing GO ADDY, YOU POO-PIED, GO ADDY. & her & amelia were dancing to our poop song. addy then asks if she can have a poop party & i was like 'of course!' it was wonderful. then she craps in a pull up 2 hours later, but still, progress has been started.

the in between phase

first a picture dump

oh, just amelia being a bit post-sick grump.
she can quickly turn from devil-child to sweetie in 2 seconds.

adeline being so totally focused on the tv. dora, diego, curious george, & even caillou (if i'm desperate) go a long way right now.

the impressive nest adeline made a few days ago. i could hardly tell she was there except for the top of her hair sticking out & her voice shrieking: mommy! mommy! help! i g-tuck in my net!

adeline ready to become the abominable snow-girl outside

take this picture, add 8 more inches of snow & that's what we see today (wait! also add huge piles of snow around our driveway...they are taller than adeline).

***
title info:

our kids are of the age, the in between phase. they aren't old enough to play outside in this super cold weather. they aren't old enough to take them to a double movie in a theater. they aren't old enough to put them in front of a tv with a vomit-bowl by their side all day when sick (so mama can do the normal mama things around the house).

i'm trying to focus on the positive things about this phase & their ages. hmmm. amelia still takes one nap a day (usually. those no nap days are heinous). amelia can't talk back yet. i'm still their favorite person most days (although wes is amelia's favorite most often). adeline finally likes to watch tv longer than 2 minute at a time. they are willing to help out with random odd jobs around the house--i can even get them both to help me dust! (maybe b/c when we dust it's such a once in a lifetime experience?).

but after weeks of adeline & amelia both being sick on & off & me being sequestered to my house...i just don't know how much more i can take! every time i wake up in the morning, after one of the girls *just* recovered from a virus or fever, i think today we can: go to playgroup, go to the mall playground, go to the rec center playground, go to church, get out of the house! then i discover adeline has another high fever, amelia had diarrhea, etc-infinity.

i know so many parents are in the same situation. please, vent with me!

***

since i can't change the fact that adeline has another fever...i need to force myself to do an attitude change. i hate doing this. hate it. can't i just stew in my own self pity?!

blah. according to the pediatrician's check up this morning, adeline just keeps getting new viruses from school. the good thing? she's fighting them off, those few days--or sometimes half days--in between fever/symptom & new fever/symptom, that is her body being all hard core fighting off those ugly viruses. maybe it's the endless amount of cereal she eats? or her love for the flintstone vitamins? or maybe it's how she can eat a pound of fruit at one sitting? wait, i think it's the cup of ketchup she eats every week.

reminder: attitude adjustment.

***

so yesterday wes was home sick, right? well, we were all sick really. yuck. but he's feeling much better today. so anyway, wes was snuggling on the couch with amelia after lunch & suddenly crazy-hyper-post-lunch amelia fell dead asleep. just like that. she was screeching & babbling & kicking her feet in the air one second & the next she was peacefully sleeping on her daddy's chest. adorable.

& then at dinner last night (homemade chicken-rice-veggie soup & gf drop buttermilk biscuits...good for the sick belly) adeline looks intently at me, smiles & tells me: you look pretty today mama, cute hair! i leaped out of my chair, hugged her & told her what a sweet thing she is. b/c really, i looked like crapola yesterday (which is why as i type right now i have our pirate hat on, to cover the rat's nest that is my hair). where does she come up with this stuff?

ARGH!
***

& now i am feeling pretty darn nauseous & still have the fever from yesterday (100.4, same exact number). i don't think i can take any more medications (can i take anything w/ celebrex, a hard core NSAID? hhmm, must google that). the toilet is my friend today, sadly. i hope i'm just sitting on it instead of also hugging it. right?

as the illness settles in

here we go, we have *it* the lurking virus that has been hitting some people we know here in ohio & also in idaho. all weekend adeline had a fever, which i mentioned isn't so unusual b/c she's had a fever for 3 straight weekends. well, this time, it meant something. but monday morning she felt so much better, fever was gone so i sent her along to school. she felt fine after she got home, ate a normal lunch, was acting totally normal & then she ate a granola bar for a snack at 3. by 3:30, she was complaining that her stomach hurt & kept that up until 5:30. then she snuggled up to me on a rocking chair for 10 minutes, nearly fell asleep...then we were all starting to walk down the stairs to get dinner ready & she burps. i ask her if she's okay b/c she has this look on her that says: i don't feel good. she does this burpy noise again, i tell wes who was close to her, she's going to vomit! he picks her up, rushing to the bathroom...spewing vomit all over the floor, door frame, then only making it to the sink. all the new stuff was tested & made it through a severe vomit.

speaking of vomit, addy's was pink from the berries in her granola...i mean, it was just a few dried up berries but it made her vomit bright pink. odd, huh?

so she's officially sick. then wes tells me he feels a bit stomach sick & finally divulges that he's had the runs for a few days, which adeline has had for nearly a week (that, i knew...addy is still not pooping in the toilet, so we still get to change those lovely diarrhea pull ups). last thursday (?? don't know if i'm remembering correctly) amelia threw up at night & she's also had diarrhea.

anyway, so wes insists that he thinks he just has some stomach problems from the enormous amount of left over lasagna he ate for lunch. so i go with that & we made tacos for dinner. bad choice. by 7:40 everyone was in bed except me. (i got to watch some uninterrupted recorded tv shows!)

here's a joke: you know the gerbicks are having a rough day when heidi is the healthiest gerbick family member. haha ha!

wes then vomits around 10. now. if you've never heard wes vomit, you are certainly lucky. b/c it sounds like he's dying...seriously, the first time this happened my body was sent into a panic & i thought i should probably call 911 b/c it just really sounds like he's upchucking his small intestine. it has made adeline cry before b/c she's so scared of the amazingly grotesque noise coming from her daddy. anyway, so that happened.

somehow everyone slept mostly through the night (amelia lost her bottle & was awake crying at 12:30 & 5:30, but that's just a fluke). & this morning we all have a minor fever (amelia's being the highest at 100.4, so really, we don't have it so bad). this is the great part: wes was going to go to work. with a fever, after he had just thrown up the night before. it's like i have to treat him like a kid, reminding him that he's sick & can get others sick. i really despise needing to talk to my husband like a child, but really, going to work today would be so rude to his co-workers. i even offered to drive there (in our 2nd round of deep, thick snow) to get his needed papers & drawings, etc...but he won't let me do that, of course (martyr syndrome going on here, lol).

& now i have a fever & the runs--sorry if that's tmi, but good to know if you've been around the gerbicks lately...things to watch out for. now i'm really glad i didn't send adeline over to our small group with that fever. as for wes, he didn't have a fever, so sorry small group folks. anyway, know that it is snowing beautifully out there & we wish we were well enough to be out in it. one good thing is that wes & addy's 2nd snowman has held on, the head is still attached days later.

so i've given in & put a movie on for adeline & am drinking coffee while my stomach is gurgling & wes is walking around looking pale & terrible. & amelia is *wow* grumpy & probably has the same gurgly stomach. we're all in this together; gotta love family illnesses, eh?

gluten free: argh! or ah! ??

so wes & i were *muy* scared of what types of food gluten free (gf) eating would force upon us. but, it hasn't been so bad, minus the first few days of me only eating carrots & cucumbers for lunch (okay, day two i had some fancy ranch dressing to dip them in). tomorrow will be the start of week 3. i've been to the grocery store about 8 times in the past 2 weeks (suck! i hate grocery shopping!). wes has been a bit more daring than i & baked using gf flour...he made me cinnamon rolls saturday morning! seriously, love this man. so i thought i'd give you all an idea of what we're eating. (i know, you'be been just dying to know, right?!). when a few friends of mine had to go on special diets (no gluten, soy, dairy...how can just going without one be so bad?!) i was always wondering what they were eating at meals. so in case anyone is wondering the same, here it is. & it's not so bad, really.

two weeks in gerbick gluten free eating (mostly)

monday: lunch--i freak out after getting the celiac call, eat an egg, a carrot, & half of a cucumber. i was hungry most of the day & my stomach hurt like hell from lunch (raw veggies & eggs are my biggest stomachache inducers).
dinner--watch wes eat w/ the girls, i then decide to get groceries, go to whole foods, cry half of the time, pick up a chipotle chicken burrito bowl (argh! they're chips are not gluten free) on the way home.

tuesday: lunch--again, stupid me. i eat a pbj on *nasty* gf (from the freezer section) white bread & again a carrot & cucumber. i do not recommend this. hungry again b/c i could only get half the sandwich down due to level of bread nastiness.
dinner--zuppa toscana soup. very good.

wednesday: lunch--chicken salad! very good. i had this the rest of the week for lunch
dinner--out to eat to carraba's...mmmhhmmm.... ate their chicken w/ goat cheese, mashed potatoes. very good. they actually have a gf menu. & my sister forced me to do this--go out to eat--so i would stop worrying about what would happen when i had to eat out. double bonus: it was wine wednesday! since i can't drink most beers now, i guess i need to find another way to get drunk every day (kidding!)

thursday: steak, baked potato, mushrooms & onions. this dinner was unbelievable tasty.

friday: first go at gf pizza crust mix. NASTY. (it was chebe in case you want to know so you never have to taste this for yourself). i ate about half of a slice. wes ate 2. amelia refused hers. adeline really refused hers. it just had this cardboard texture & taste to it, then add some grittiness & then top it with good stuff. still gross. never again. after this meal i thought we were doomed to never enjoy pizza again (still not so sure about this one).

saturday: lunch was compliments of my mother in law (they were visiting from out of town), beef veggie soup. it was very yummy. for dinner we then decided to go out, if you remember the terrible time we had at carraba's (we decided to go there since they had an exclusive gf menu. little did i know that my father in law didn't even like carrabas! him mentioning that could've saved him some $$ & all of us some time. next time, we'll just hit 5 guys or chick-fil-a). again, i had the chicken w/ goat cheese, potatoes, & salad. this time, bread was on the table & for a few seconds i thought i would fall off the gf wagon...but held strong. we also made some brownies from a trader joe's gf mix. they were very good. very good.

sunday: brunch: buttermilk blueberry pancakes (from a bob's red mill gf pancake mix). again, good! dinner was a mexican lasagna (layered pork roast, corn tortillas, verde sauce, refried beans, onions, then cheese on top of course!) served with guacamole & sour cream. yum yum.

monday: grilled chicken & risotto w/ onion & zucchini & cheese (always cheese)

tuesday: five guys burgers & fries. i had a no-bun double w/ bacon, onion, mushrooms, green pepper, cheese & a1 sauce. plus fries, come on. it was all good. & they are awesome about the whole gf stuff; even the teenage guy who took the order knew what i was talking about.

wednesday: a gerwig family style hawaiian chicken w/ jasmine rice. (crushed pineapple, ketchup, soy sauce, worcheshire sauce, & vinegar...bake w/ chicken)

thursday: beef roast w/ carrots, onions, boiled potatoes & a gravy-ish substance (which marked our first try w/ xanthan gum...that stuff is so weird!)

friday: white chicken pizza using the gluten free pantry mix. it was *much* better than the previous pizza friday gf experience, but still, not up to par.

saturday: (italian) lasagna using brown rice lasagna noodles & then a salad & with the leftover dough from the night before, baking a french bread then making garlic bread. this was the first dinner using gf products that we could *not* taste a difference. it was a great feeling.

& today i'm baking chocolate chip cookies using my own variations & then also using bob's red mill mix then a 365 mix (the whole foods product line, i believe). so far, i like the 365 mix the best. wes took them to the small group tonight where they will be tested against each other. i think mine, from scratch, taste a bit grainy...but i used oat & white rice flour (plus xanthan gum for thickening) instead. the great thing was that the cookie dough tasted great which is totally not so with the bob's red mill dough (it tasted something like what i would imagine a butt crack would taste like or maybe even a rotten lima bean...the aftertaste sent my system into shock, i had to eat some ice cream to recover.)...who will be the winner?

anyway, it's taking me longer to get dinner together...maybe b/c nothing is really 'fast' yet. i'm not used to the products & way of making something. the whole celiac/gf stuff has forced me to look at the food we eat, the actual ingredients list of additives & such on even the simplest of foods, like a can of beans (yep, found gluten in a can of beans). in the past i have mostly dismissed the food industry critics as a bit over-the-top. i mean, really, i would normally prefer to eat produce that was grown using a pesticide than gnaw on the bug that could be there without the pesticide. or those folks who say there's a link between diet & autism...really?

but as my brain fog seems to be lifting the past week & my gut is allowing me to eat a pepper & raw veggies, well, i'm becoming a believer. why is it that local, more pure food costs more? what is done to other food that makes it cheaper? why didn't i care until i was told it had a serious impact on my health? really, am i that into what tastes good to let it ruin my bones, giving me cramps similar to being in labor weekly, sometimes daily? is it just a coincidence that i had a benign tumor & also a disease that doesn't allow my body to absorb nutrients?

***

so. adeline has a high fever again this weekend. WHAT THE HELL?! the past 3 weekends it's been the same story: friday, she's fine. saturday she starts to get feverish & hot, pink-cheeked--which is so cute on her--& complains of stomachache. give her some tylenol & she's fine. she wakes up sunday morning with an even higher fever, which fluctuates throughout the day. after eating anything besides cereal, she complains of stomachaches. she takes a nap... as in, she tells us: i really sleepy, i go to my bed. AND her eczema then flares up, which is telling me that it's some sort of allergy. really, i have no clue, but know that our pediatrician will be called tomorrow. 3 weekends in a row is just too odd, especially without other symptoms, right?

what my midwife failed to tell me when pregnant with adeline: you should have gone to medical school before having kids. all these illnesses & such are enough to make a non-medical-school-educated parent loopy.

***

as for amelia. she is just a bundle of curiosity & energy. then someone put a quarter in her, as wes likes to say, & she bounces around for hours. & she's really starting to understand the dozen or so hand signs we've been using the past year. finally, right? & now i hear adeline moving around upstairs (wes & amelia left us, sadly, to go to our small group).

snow!

gosh, it was 7 years ago when wes & i were stranded in pennsylvania with his friends, tim & joy. well, we weren't exactly stranded...we were at their house which was in a kids' camp. BUT it was that blizzard of 2003 & in this part of PA the accumulation was well over 18 inches, maybe even 2 feet?

this was the weekend of love, as wes & i like to call it...the weekend that we told each other we wouldn't so much mind marrying each other. & yes, it was over valentine's day weekend, etc. yes, our first official valentine's day meal was at denny's. seriously romantic, eh? *meh* neither of us are particularly romantic-ish, so it's all hunkey dory.

& here we are 7 years later, on nearly the same weekend, getting some heavy snow. but not a denny's in sight. we haven't even talked to each other about valentine's day yet, what we plan or hope to do, are we exchanging gifts or cards or just hugs (lol, modern family!). i'm guessing this is normal after 7 years & with two kids, in the middle of winter (which should really be changed to a name that implies 'the time of illness'). maybe we should start trying to get our girls involved in our valentine's day plans...make it a family occasion?

okay

i think i want to turn this blog into a LOST discussion forum. any takers? we just watched last night's episodes. am i getting more answers or questions? is this really the last season? wow, they pulled a jesus- move; impressive.

all smiles

yesterday i knew adeline was feeling better b/c the first thing she accomplished after getting home? taking off her clothes. & same today, she came inside, threw her coat on the floor, backpack on the bench, hat in the basket & then ran into the living room. then she started to build a nest, of course, right after she took off her clothes. i'm thinking that this no-clothes policy is part of being her age, especially when i read other friend's blogs who have girls of similar age & see pictures of their kid without clothes on also. (phew, not just my kid being weird). so there you have it, adeline is feeling better.

as for amelia. well, amelia & i just finished a 25 minute snuggle time in that comfy rocking chair in her bedroom...during which i had much time to think without interruption (addy was watching a diego episode).

so i thought back to one terrible-parent-moment, a time i was at the mom's group, in fact, it was soon after i had decided to go regularly. we were meeting during the summer at a church, in a classroom where a day care was held also during the week (but not at the same time...following me here?). so i was bursting preggers with amelia & adeline was around 20 months or so, at that great age of severe mischief without an idea of obedience. or something like that. basically, at the age when adeline could be very charming or very rotten. on this day she chose to be very rotten & i was not taking it well & i remember also feeling very nauseous (yes, even at 7 or 8 months pregnant) & just plain pissy.

so on the floor was this tangle of yarn that was taped down...totally enticing to a 20 month old, right? but it was from the day care & we had been asked to leave the room in tip-top shape & not disturb, or something of that sort. so i kept going over to addy & telling her not to pull it up & try not to trip over it & will you stop pulling the yarn, just stop it. to which a 20 month old just looks at me & pulls on the yarn, etc.

so i kept going in between the table where the moms were discussing & answering questions (this was when the mom's group was a bit more formal) & then i would have to bound over to addy before she destroyed something, specifically the yarn situation. i remember just becoming so frustrated & being me, i started to cry when scolding adeline over in a corner. not b/c i felt embarrassed or whatever, but b/c i was just so upset (when i get upset, i cry...it's so annoying!). anyway, i don't think anyone knew i shed a few tears. but after that i gave up going over to addy & scolding her, i just started to sorta hiss or do this weird whisper-yell thing to her across the room. something a toddler really responds to, right? *smile*

my scolding of addy started to interrupt the discussion & that's when i started to get embarrassed...& to this day, i am so embarrassed that i hissed at my child across the room, that i used the type of parenting tactics that are of no use. yea & was very rude by interrupting everyone...

i'm not sure why i remembered this today. maybe b/c i just went to this mom's group today & as amelia was investigating this new house i was totally different. maybe it's b/c i'm not knocked up & nauseous. or maybe it's b/c i'm a bit more relaxed as a parent this time around. i mean, really, was i truly to think a 20 month old wouldn't try to constantly pull up a mess of yarn on the floor?! what's funny is that all the other moms were like 'uh, i think it'll be okay' every time i ran over to scold addy but i was like 'no! she shouldn't do that!'

so i guess here's me saying thanks to this group of women who have sat around a table with me long enough to see it all. i really, super know i'm not a perfect parent & i especially know my kids aren't perfect. it's just nice to know that i can go to a place--a room full of other parents!--& not feel judged by past or even present behavior (lol, from me or my child).

***

so what else did i think about over 25 quiet minutes, snuggling with my youngest?

well, i have this thought that since we somehow screwed up & painted the upstairs bathroom bright pink & before that purposefully painted the play room hot pink...well, i have this nagging feeling that we are going to suddenly & without planning to, get pregnant with a boy. really, if you knew me during either pregnancy you know i do *not* like being pregnant. i have no desire to have another biological child; really, our babies are such life-suckers...i don't think anyone thinks less of us for that statement (no more biological kids). at some point we may do foster-care-adoption, maybe, but like i said we *know* we don't want me to be pregnant again. (i shudder even thinking about it).

in response to that thought that some world-karma-thing will turn around & bite us with a biological boy pregnancy, i have decided we will paint amelia's room blue. maybe like robin's egg blue or something. but still, blue. to ward off all weird karma, if there is such a thing.

***
another thought? gluten free eating. after over a week of doing this gf eating, i'm not so emotional about it all. in fact, i think we've eaten rather well this past week (minus ALL salads i ingested, which were only 3, but still). i certainly know i wouldn't just choose to eat this way. i don't necessarily think it's healthier in the end b/c there are so many unhealthy food choices still out there for me (fries, chips, ice cream, etc). i do need to get better at preparing lunches for myself.

but last night marked an important milestone: i ate part of a green pepper...& 90 minutes later, i wasn't in terrible pain, laying curled up on my bed with a heating pad on my stomach. about 2 hours after eating, i had a slight stomach ache but nothing more than what most might get after eating a large cheeseburger, fries, & then peppermint ice cream. really, i hardly noticed the stomachache. which is amazing.

i have really been hoping that this whole gluten free & celiac stuff is wrong. you know, maybe dr im will call tomorrow & be like 'GAH THEY MIS-LABELED THE BLOODWORK! YOU DON'T HAVE CELIAC DISEASE!' & then i'd eat an entire pizza myself, then have a cinnamon roll, then... i mean, who would *want* to have this sort of diet? but now i can see that it's paying off. so that's good & bad, in a way. i now have proof that it's working. which is good b/c i actually kinda sorta like peppers!

***

& what could be better than this: i am downstairs, typing this & the girls are upstairs in amelia's room (i believe in her crib somehow, from the sounds of it), playing together. adelien is belting out the abc song, amelia is screech-singing, someone is jumping, then amelia laughs. so which is the good part, that i'm down here & they're not (!) or b/c they're playing together, happily? or both...

i could be...but i'm not

...baking gluten-free bread, cookies, mixes...

...finishing laundry...

...reading 1 of 3 books checked out from the library...

...organizing something, like this desk i'm sitting at...

...trying to figure out why addy has such an odd fever...

...taking a picture of that wee little snowman adeline & i made last week (it's still out there! barely hanging together by a stick, literally; so cute)...

...moving my calendar page from january to february.

...watching tv!... (why am i not doing that?)

...stretching (???)...

...eating that last (gluten free, thanks mike & carol!) lemon bar...{okay, i will do that}

...get involved in something...

***

both girls are sleeping. love that benedryl. & before you judge, know that both are sick & well deserving of their share of our friend benny-benedryl. i am still waiting for my afternoon dose of pain meds to kick in (not quite there yet, hello). so something to talk about quickly: snowville creamery. i bought some of their milk at whole foods the other day. i just love it, love it, love it. during the summer they have a booth at the westerville farmers' market so we would get some of their milk at times. we even made cheese with it! i dunno what it is, just good stuff.

another interesting tid bit is that this is the year i will turn 30. & i don't really seem to care a bit about that getting old stuff. i think it may have something to do with the skull-surgery & all that. i am asking for a big party, you know, like a typical ohio-style kegger with a band & heck, illegal fireworks or something. no one has to get all drunk & whatever, just time to celebrate & embrace getting old. i plan to do an entirely large blog post about embracing the aging process instead of fighting it...yes, again, i think this is mostly b/c of this past year's quick health deterioration. (so, folks, something to look forward to!).

i really expected amelia to wake up before i could get this far into a post. i have nothing more to say.

except that amelia is becoming quite the grown up toddler. today she picked out her snack! yes, our little 17 month old knows her stuff. she wanted a (non gluten free, sadly) biter biscuit, raisins, gluten free animal crackers (which she later hid in a toy basket upon discovering how bland they are), & then fruit snacks. & water. i love it. really, i love this age, it's crazy how much she is learning even day to day. if adults kept that pace of learning we'd all be geniuses, right?

& then adeline is somehow learning boundaries. i am hesitant to even talk about it, but it does seem she is responding to the past few weeks of her mama (ahem, me) sorta morphing back into heidi gerbick, psycho-social-rehabilitator, lsw, bsw. i wanted to give it a few weeks before i called it but i think "it" has been working. i won't go into detail, but there have been much more fierce, 'i am the parent, hear me roar' sort of moments, & wes is totally on board & is roaring alongside.

& now adeline is suddenly awake! & coming down the stairs! my guess: no pants on. oh my, she does have pants on. see, she's learning. & now i must go, brownie-eating child awaits.

& this just in:

adeline, now has this mystery high fever...i thought she was rather warm since saturday afternoon but then we all thought i was just so cold that her feeling warm was a fluke. not so. after lunch today i took her temp to get a 102.6. ugh. what is it from? & some people may think me totally heartless, but if she feels better in the morning, off to school she goes. really, amelia had this on & off again fever for 2 1/2 weeks, i can't not send her to school for 2 1/2 weeks for an illness the doctor won't even give us an antibiotic for (we saw the ped twice for amelia, still, no antibiotics given to us, even with her high fevers, another ugh).

i was really looking forward to sending her off to school happily tomorrow so i could continue my cleaning of the rooms (which includes a severe dusting of walls, baseboards, toys, blinds, etc). so far i've only done the girls' bedrooms. i know, this is severe. i'm getting a wee bit crazy cleaning here. but amelia helps out so well with her fake & barely wet rag, wiping the walls off with this huge grin on her face.

sorry for the rant. winter illnesses drive me bonkers.

among other things...

so here is a shot of sick amelia. she has her first post-ear tubes ear infection last week & into the weekend. she's doing much better now but still battling a very intense cold--you know, heavy green snot. so gross. so this is the new toddler carrier we bought a few weeks ago. & amelia is not so into it but adeline loves it (yes, it can carry adeline!) but now amelia has warmed up to it.

& i noticed how nicely matched i am with the carrier & also the wall. it was all planned, you know. important things.

***
this past weekend we had grandparent visitors! wes' parents stayed almost a day with us & overnight. adeline talked about it all week, so excited. here is a picture of the girls before we all (stupidly) went out to eat. (why stupidly? well, we went to carraba's b/c of their gluten free menu. we called ahead to get reservations at a certain time. we arrived on time. they told us we still had a 25-45 minute wait. what? better: whisky-tango-foxtrot! {thanks, scotty}. ugh, both girls were starting to lose it by the time our food arrived & adeline wanted to lay on my lap instead of eat, amelia was tossing ice cubes around. good times!)

so, yes, a picture of the girls pre-eating-disaster

adeline showing off her boots

***

ah, gluten free. how is that going? well, this week we've eaten pretty good after my lunch of carrots, celery, & an over-easy egg. i've had some painful stomach cramps & aches but i guess it's all part of my stomach getting used to the new gluten-free food. we're learning; i've finally shopped at whole foods which i've mostly avoided b/c i think it's a bit over-priced & well, just not necessary for us to drive 25 minutes to do grocery shopping. thankfully it seems the cheapest option is just a mile down the road at the raisin rack, a local health food store. same options, just about a dollar cheaper. anyway, they also have frozen gluten free doughnuts! & highlander grogg coffee! glory be.

we have cast out food worth hundreds of dollars, then spent another few hundred dollars on new food. did you know most soy sauces have gluten in them?! really. & chili beans. & some ice creams. so much stuff to part with. & some things we've spent a hefty chunk of change on turn out to be *nasty* like some pre-mix pizza crust. amelia even tossed it aside...yea, that disgusting that our garbage disposal wouldn't eat it. (for example: amelia ate cold refried beans out of a can today when we were preparing dinner. she will eat nearly anything, so you know this pizza crust was so terribly vomit-inducing).

i have more to say about it all but i'm tired & maybe just not ready to talk about it all quite yet. i think it's all so emotional for me not just b/c i'm giving up my favorite food choices...somehow i have to feel worse before i can feel better again. will it work? i just don't know the answers. i'm just tired of the trend of new diagnosis, ya know? (i'm praying this is the last for a good 30 years.) i have a lot to learn about when it comes to this celiac stuff.

***

welcome, natalie johanna parsons to this world! what a cutie.

done!

& here is a bathroom project we can say: accomplished. (well, mostly. we still have to put trim around the mirror...i am sorta against this, hoping it won't look a bit shaggy around the edges, ya know. but wes can try, oh will he try.)

so wes took thursday & friday off to *do the re-do*, if you will.

here he is looking all manly trying to pull off a counter top.

when pulling it off didn't work, time to get the saw out! it does look like much fun.

& here is a mostly finished job

the changing table now has a white skirt around it to hide all the changing table nightmares

so, let's talk about this paint color...it turned out completely wrong! doi. we went to home depot planning to get a yellow-orange color (think: rubber duck) & then we were like, ah let's go for a bright purple & seriously, this is what a purple swatch turned out to be. color fail.

wes refuses to paint it again, so we just went with it, threw out the idea of a rubber duckie bathroom (which was the old decor from the upstairs spare bathroom in our house in boise). i mean, really, adeline will be in grade school in a few years so why not give them an older looking bathroom. we tried to sell it as some sort of princess kind of thing. adeline was out of sorts about the re-do for a few days but now thinks it very pretty & deserving of many *wows!*

amelia likes that two tall stools are in the bathroom; that's about all she seems to care about right now...what enables her to reach more things to destroy.

a few more fav things

life isn't just about the food we eat, so i am re-focusing my blogging mind on other things that i love, my girls.

amelia is here wearing some shorts that are in the dress-up bin. i think she looks pretty darn spiffy. she gets her fashion sense from me, of course. shiny & layered are in, right?

adeline running in the snow. she wasn't running b/c it's the fun thing to do in the snow but b/c she didn't want her picture taken (which is totally the norm for her right now. i think it's b/c i took thousands of pics of her when she was 9 months & younger.)

adeline wearing a drum major outfit (also from the dress-up bin, a fav play time of the girls recently). this is also wes' drum major outfit that his mom made for him (halloween, i believe) when he was a kid. B/C wes wanted to be a drum major when he grew up...for a very long time apparently. maybe even as a middle schooler.

& here is adeline being a little kid.

you know, let's take this doll-moses basket my gram-mum made for my doll & use it to instead go really fast down the slide! (it does look fun, eh?) i think the next phase will be the steps & this moses basket...

amelia doing her version of 'hard-core-slide-kid'.

the pathetic tiny snowman adeline & i made yesterday. i blame it on the weather (the snow wasn't packing snow & we hardly had any to work with, so this is what you get. plus amelia was inside crying instead of napping, so we had a short time frame. all good excuses for pathetic snowman.)

there *are* good things in life aside from food.

***

so i called my dr's office & left a slightly perturbed message asking for more info about the blood results & gluten-free stuff & what he really means about 'highly reactive to gluten'. & to ask him to call in all the scripts i have lost along with my notebook that contains my life. surprisingly, dr im (not his nurse) called me back within 90 minutes. the result? scripts are called in, i indeed have celiac's disease (it's 'mild' right now, changing my diet now will save me years of pain & such). he kept saying 'you are highly intolerant of gluten' etc. then he said that my girls would also benefit from going gluten-free mostly (b/c gluten sensitivity is genetic). he also said he feels strongly that this will over time take care of many of the pains & problems. combine this gluten-free diet healing with hopeful healing from adrenal fatigue via the meds i'm on & then overall healing from my surgery (ie, numbness, balance, etc) i could feel much better over the next year. he mentioned that i could start to feel better in a matter of weeks, as far as stomach pain & muscle/joint pain go, but real healing will take much longer. i'm glad he called. he did agree that giving up pizza & baked goods with wheat flour will be difficult...then he said 'we all would benefit from eating mostly gluten-free...but you need a totally gluten free diet right now'. i know, i know. i think i'm getting there.

ah, amelia is awake & refreshed from her nap. must get the millie-monster out of the crib before she collapses it with her incessant shaking of the rails.

losing my mind

thanks to the jump start from my cortisol pill in the morning, i generally wake up feeling optimistic about what i can accomplish for the day. & that happened today. put powder in my ever-greasy, non washed hair (it just takes so long to wash, dry, & style my hair, about 90 minutes from start to finish...i wish, i wish i wish i had that hair that can just be washed & put some goop in it & then walk away...but the past few amazing stylists i've had told me that it's just not going to happen. unless i want to look like a frizzed out poof-ball. or grow my hair way out like i had it growing up...which then it's all flat & such, so that's not an option. i got this hair from my mom, so we moan about it together, just last week, actually). anyway, this post is not about hair. although it would be a *great* distraction.

so yes, i put some powder in my greasy hair, put some jeans, crew neck & sweater on & i looked pretty decent, really. ate some gorilla munch (which hurts my gums for some reason, must look into that...are my gums going to have to toughen up to corn & rice based foods as opposed to softer wheat flour?). take adeline to school & sorta look for my little notebook that carries my life & most recently my 3 new prescriptions & notes from dr im about which new supplement i'm to buy at raisin rack. but i can't find it anywhere. i called wes a few times, called my mom in case she saw it somewhere last thursday (yes, i have put off buying & filling prescriptions this long, but if you have been in our house the past week, you would understand. sick kids, remodeling, etc). this notebook is G-O-N-E.

so then i just start to cry. then sob, then i'm screaming obscenities at the world, in my empty house (amelia was still in her car seat b/c i still had this hope that i would turn around & there it would be, my notebook, just sitting on the counter. this did not happen). my mom mentioned something about a no-carb crash happening around today or tomorrow & i think that may be happening (combine with menstrual moods, & the high & low from the cortisol, then the not sleeping well--which is why i need to find that damn sleeping pill prescription!).

my plans of going to raisin rack then heading to barnes & noble to let amelia play with the train set while i start to read a 'gluten free diet' cookbook or book or something...those plans are gone b/c i am red & puffy-eyed, have the post-break down head ache, & am just blue.

really, take away my white flour & i am so, so, so sad. i could do vegetarian so much better. i know this may seem silly to some of you readers, how emotional i am. but, like i said, combine all of the crumminess that we're dealing with right now & voila, i bet you'd be pretty damn emotional also. seriously, how many diagnosis (what is the plural of that word? diagnosises? no, doesn't look right & spell check is saying the big n-o). anyway, how many diagnosis {sp, lol} can i get in one year? inflamed optic nerves due to german ancestry (or if we're being real, from the AN), then we have the acoustic neuroma (AN), then we have adrenal fatigue, then we have fibromyalgia (which is most likely a general diagnosis from both adrenal fatigue & gluten), then we have gluten intolerance (or, if we're being real, celiac). what next? maybe i can have my wisdom teeth pulled this year also! or maybe early onset alzheimer's...which would explain why i keep misplacing EVERYTHING.

folks, you don't have to read my rantings about this. i'm sorry, just do a skim if this bores you or makes you want to shake me or something. but i hate writing in an actual journal b/c my handwriting is so slow, so here it is, typed up for your viewing pleasure.

i feel a bit better now...must take my contacts out (why is it that after a cry my contacts get all foggy?), put some make up around my red, puffed eyes & hopefully head back out to raisin rack & try my hardest not to cry in public. *smile* wish me luck.

a few of my favorite things

so i went to whole foods (a grocery store, for those who don't know) & checked out their very extensive gluten free sections. the options were plenty, i have to say. i was pretty amazed...& dumbfounded. i *know* i looked like a deer in the headlights when searching the gluten free section for flour. i bought 3 different types of flour & plan to make cookies tomorrow to see which works out best.

it seems our meals will have to be more planned. there isn't a whole lot of room for a quick decision meal, at least until we get used to eating like this & know what to go for. i really do think that i'll be able to get most of what i need at our local meijer store & then do some extra shopping once a month or so at whole foods or trader joes. anyway. i just have to put that out there b/c i can't stop thinking about it all, well, obviously b/c i just went grocery shopping.

but b/c a few of my favorite things totally have gluten in every molecule

• cinnamon rolls, namely, my grandma's... i will make it my life's work to emulate them with gluten free flour. we have cinnamon rolls every saturday morning. what are we going to do this saturday?!

• asiago bagels (from buehler's mostly)

• fluffy, white french bread with cold cuts
• pies, tarts
• cream of wheat
• thin mints & such tasty treats (hello, pepperidge farms mint milano cookies!)
• starbucks apple fritters
• chipotle tortilla chips (i asked tonight, they have gluten in them, damn them)
• play doh (that was a joke)
• PIZZA! one of my all-time favorite foods!! EVER! & i'm talking about the kind of pizza that we order. love it.
  

but really, you get the picture. i am in love with all purpose white flour & bread flour made from *wheat*. what am i going to do next christmas? & folks, i seriously cried when i walked through the bakery tonight at the grocery. cried.

if this is for real (i can still be in somewhat denial, right?) my diet will change & i will generally be eating very healthy stuff. like veggies. ugh. but it will be sad & i have to admit i am in mourning for the loss of my favorite things. at least i still have mint chocolate chip ice cream.

oi, me.

right before i was going to put a pot of water on the stove to boil pasta for a lunch of mac n cheese, the phone rang...it was dr im's nurse, calling to let me know that my blood work results were in & i am 'highly reactive' to gluten. he wants me to immediately (those were her words) switch to a gluten free diet. at my next appointment in march he will determine from the results of a new diet if i need to be tested for celiac's disease (b/c they have to do a endoscopy & grab a bit of the intestine to test...so i guess if that can be avoided, hip-hip-hooray?). b/c somehow a person can be non-celiac-gluten-intolerant. at any rate, i don't want to bore you with the details b/c well, i really don't know a whole lot about it myself yet either! what i have gathered from a few kind people who do know about this situation is to rid our diet of all things wheat, rye, barley. basically: my diet. i LOVE pastas, breads, gravies, sauces, etc. (gravies & sauces are out unless we use a different flour or thickening agent that doesn't contain gluten).

argh, this is difficult.

so yes, i got the news as i had a box of good ole mac n cheese in my hands. i listened, asked a few questions, hung up & started crying. i gave the girls some chicken nuggets & berries for lunch & scrounged around our house for *something* gluten free. i came up with a carrot. i ate it. then cried some more. i just don't like veggies, folks. i guess i will learn to tolerate them in due time, but...not today. so i finally got my mom on the phone & she said to eat an egg & i found one left in the fridge! i ate it & immediately felt so ill. apparently it will take some time for my intestines to not get a bit sick from non-gluten foods...long story in which i don't exactly know enough to tell everyone. something about my intestines not having proper celio's or somethin'-somethin'. can you tell i just learned about this?! *smile*

then i talk with my sister as i'm nauseous & she's all 'well take a cooking class together & learn how to cook using new ingredients' which made me cry more b/c wow, that's a very nice gesture, sis!

then an email from my mom's friend, who does have celiac's, rolled in & she had a bunch of info, including websites with recipes & gluten-free breads & flour products & even a blog. so. i feel a bit better now ESPECIALLY after i was again scrounging around our cupboards & then went downstairs to our pantry & low & behold, i found a box of gluten free cereal from trader joe's! (gorilla munch, one i liked even before). so i ate a very large bowl of cerel, a carrot, & an egg for lunch & my stomach is aching & moaning. but apparently that's normal? who knows, i hope to do a bit more research tonight once wes gets home & i am able to head out to a bookstore (to buy a recommendation from my dr & then also to buy a gluten free cookbook--hell-o! gotta eat!) & then to go to whole foods &/or raisin rack (the westerville health food store) &/or trader joe's.

a lot of the symptoms make so much sense. i really hope this is it, combined with adrenal fatigue...b/c both are manageable.

now, look out vineyard food pantry, here comes some serious amounts of food your way!

all the food on the counter contains gluten. seriously. what up?

look how sad & empty our cupboard looks!

here is the stuff from our basement pantry. all contain gluten. most are leaving the premises.

again, look how sad & forlorn the shelves appear *wink* & dude, do we have some serious chicken broth!

apparently we also have to get rid of wooden spoons b/c the gluten will stay within the spoon & transfer to the food once heated. i'm not sure if this applies to cutting boards, utensils, plastic stuff as well. if so...wow. this could be a pricey change over. add that to the adrenal fatigue diet recommendations (to eat organic b/c certain pesticides can aggravate adrenal dysfunction) & i think we just upped our monthly grocery bill by at least $100. what a year we have going for us, financially. at this point, health comes first. b/c i guess if we have poor health, what's the point of having all that money saved for retirement?

by the way: if you live near us & are in *need* of some food or know someone, let us know. lol, as long as they don't have celiac, right? as for the already opened stuff, i think we will either try to have wes eat it or hand it off to friends. (only wes b/c adeline & amelia both seem to have similar symptoms as i do. i won't go into the details b/c it's kinda gross, but...this will be a whole-family diet change, after adeline eats all those cheesy fish & such & until we come up with a replacement for kraft mac n cheese...gasp!)