double meaning day

so monday adeline went to her first day of preschool & it was also month 2 after harold removal. to all you grandparents, aunts & uncles anxiously awaiting her pictures, sorry it took so long! (the past few days have been a bit harrowing). i'm hoping to get this post done today--we'll see! these kids to not seem to like me being on the computer at all.

adeline, right before walking out the door on her first (full) day of preschool!

#1
adeline was giddy getting ready for 'cools' as she calls school. she put her clothes on with *gusto* & was smiling & laughing when we would ask her what she was going to do today ('COOLS'!!). once dressed w/ shoes on, she was opening the garage door to leave, trying to tote around her heavy backpack...it was just plain adorable, folks. she wanted to go to school, she didn't want to leave. the only slight discomfort happened when we (yes, wes was with us, of course--first day of school!) walked away towards the steps & door...adeline cried out 'mommy!! mommy!!' & my heart was shredded & i turned back rather quickly for my healing balance nerve (didn't fall over, thankfully) & was ready to scoop her up saying 'she'll be ready next year!' & take her home. but then the teacher leaned over & handed her little bear (yes, little bear went along for school) & adeline sorta looked at me like 'it's under control now, you can go please' & then she walked into the classroom, head held high. amazing.

what's even more amazing is that i didn't cry about it until amelia & i got home. it was only a few tears, then amelia decided to take the chance & get my undivided attention for the next 2.10 hours. actually, i think amelia missed her sister the most as she was crying & pouting & crawling around with this lost look on her face. when adeline hopped into the car after school amelia was nearly bouncing the car with her happiness.

the happy duo pre preschool

amelia missing her sister as we were waiting to pick up adeline

adeline bounding out of school

***

#2

month 2, post harold removal
my hair grows very fast so you can barely see where the incision is, except at the bottom.

i am still experiencing most of the side effects, but they come & go in severity. i still feel like i've been hit by a truck, run over or what have you...but things around here are slightly normalizing. i don't want to use this blog to complain, so i'm just going to stop here, but things are still difficult & i am excited to heal completely.
***
as for today & this week, it's just been a difficult one. amelia is up for hours at night crying. amelia is grumpy during the day, especially when adeline is gone. i've woken up with a killer migraine once & bad head & muscle aches the other days. today i'm on my way to a play group for amelia's 'friends' & was hit (slow speed, thankfully) on the driver side. it wasn't my fault (i admitted i didn't turn my blinker on to park on a residential one way street curb. who does?!) but the other driver was calling me a liar, etc & told the police that i was lying. lovely. i'm thinking, what do i have to lie about?! it appears that he's just trying to turn it into my fault (passing someone on the left side on a one way residential street? i think that's not my fault he hit me, eh?). after the cop mentioned something about being in the twilight zone (b/c our stories were different, i dunno) i just stopped disputing this guy, let him rant about how i was lying about *everything* showing the cop how it was in a different location that where it was, etc. i think eventually the cop understood what was going on, i mean, he deals with this type of situation at least once a day i'm sure--he'll be able to tell the person who's telling the truth from not. but it's just so frustrating! so now we're letting our insurance co's duke it out. no one was hurt, although amelia was in the car with me which freaks me out. what if we were hit harder? what if adeline had been in the car (her door took the brunt of the hit). i'm just ready for things to stop happening to us. no more tumors, pay decreases, huge medical bills, minor car accident, illness. gosh, i just want to wake up feeling good & *knowing* it will be a good day.

for the birthday girl

you guessed it, newborn adeline

1 year old adeline
two year old adeline
3 year old adeline (yes, she blew them out by herself! rock on, girlie)

***

today adeline is three. holy crap-a-moleee! so i asked her some of the favorites in her life. since she is speaking better to a point that wes & i can nearly understand 80% of what she's saying i think these answers are legitimate (btw: other people probably understand about 25%, which is much better than 3 months ago). AND i think she's learning how to spell (that story another time) & she can draw a very lopsided heart suddenly, making her daddy's heart flip around & cause tears to come to his eyes (softy). tonight she told her grandma sue where we went out to eat (5 guys burgers & fries...but gma sue heard '3 guys' so that's pretty good talking!). anyway, here's her list of favorites:

color: blue {i was *shocked* & asked why do you get everything PINK?!}
food: oreo cookie
toys: matchbox cars
activity: playing outside
tv show: dora
park: innis woods
stuffed animal: little bear
book: all dora books
word: home (mama heart melting)
night-night song: jesus loves me
wants to: go to SCHOOL!
hair to be: down
doesn't like: naps {sour face}

what a kid we have with our sweet adeline. she has a huge heart for others & quite the silly & rambunctious attitude. adeline is growing into a little girl right before our eyes; if it weren't for the plethora of pictures, i would hardly notice day to day but mature she does. she is one who holds the hand of her preschool teacher but still looks behind for her mama (then smiles & wildly waves to her mama & little sis), one who cares for the crying kids in stores & on playgrounds & asks to give them a hug or a band aid. she still asks me every single day how my 'owie' is doing (my scar/incision) & checks it out by carefully pulling my hair back & says things like 'hmm, ooohh, sorry mama, owie'. then she wishes it gone by blowing on it & saying bye bye to the air.

just at target last night when we were sorting through all the shoes, we went over to the sock aisle to put a pair on her (of course, i forgot to put socks on her so we had to buy more socks...not something she needs). so i put the socks on her, then the shoes & as i was trying to explain to this shakily excited preschooler that she wouldn't be able to run b/c of the elastic around the shoes, well, she attempted to run, quickly. then she fell down, laughing. i was all 'addy you can't run b/c the shoes are tied together' but she just got up & tried *4 more times* to run with the new shoes, laughing hysterically the entire time--it was like i was witnessing her first drunk episode! i was nearly ready to pee my pants from watching her do this up & down then finally she figured out how to walk with her legs tight together & then how to hop. it's just moments like these that i am not going to forget, her ability to make light of what could be frustrating situations (then melt down for hours over eating a bite of food?! doi!). i know i had never laughed so much until she came into my life (& now that's double the trouble fun, eh?).

when i think about the next 2 decades it's anticipated with joy & love, bring it on, right? she is *so excited* to grow up & we are *so even more excited* to help her on this journey. we love you, sweet adeline! happy birthday.

oh the joys

• my pair of tom's came today! i am so excited YEA YEA YEA! i have not been a 'shoe person' ... until i saw these on our friend's blog & then waited for them to visit us so i could see them first hand. loved them. ordered them that week & here they are & i love them. comfortable. wearable with everything, i assure you. they already have spilled milk on them but i wore them out anyway. COMFORTABLE. maybe i haven't been a shoe person before b/c i have wide feet & am mostly uncomfortable in women's shoes (except sandals!). but i'm finding my way around the very tight women fitting shoes & into the comfy ones. i believe on 3rd rock i would i be like liz lemon, wearing 'man shoes'. who cares?! COMFORTABLE.
  

• & these would be the shoes adeline *agonized* over for 30 minutes in target tonight. these special, fast, sparkly, pink shoes beat out a DORA pair (my guess is b/c the dora ones were brown. or maybe she was pondering the fact of her dora boots at home are also brown...to0 much brown?). my goodness! her feet are a size *NINE*!
  

• & these shoes, folks, are her "dressy" shoes. no kidding. she picked these, again--agony-- over the total sparkle shoes (even had 3 sparkle shoe colors to pick from...but none were pink). so was very thoughtful & excited during this shoe buying process. lots of 'huummmm' & 'mmmmhhhmm'??? & no not dat, yes dat, NO YES. etc.

• another joy of parenting? this is addy's plate. our 3 year old (well, as of tomorrow at 11:19 a.m.). we bribed her to eat the carrots (just by saying we'll eat a carrot when she eats one) but she's refusing to eat any meat except chicken nuggets especially from costco, the ones that are in the shape of mickey mouse's head (???). she used to eat nearly as much as wes, just about a year ago, actually. & she would eat nearly anything. ah well, so it goes. what do 'they' say, just keep offering it & eventually she'll eat the things that she's okay with & will show us for sure the things she really doesn't have a taste for (gah, do we have a vegetarian on our hands? will her daddy be okay with this?! lol)
  

• & this, this is amelia's plate. her 1st helping. she ate about two plates with this much food *not even kidding*... she doesn't stop eating most of the day.
  

• going to preschool went wonderful today, once i finally found a parking spot. this particular elementary school has about 12 parking spaces for everyone (including staff). i was driving like a mad woman trying to find a spot. i think (yes, i know) i yelled a big fat what the f*&% are you doing dude?? to another parent trying to navigate the tiny alley behind the school. he was going the wrong way, btw, down the 1 way street. it was my 2nd time around looking for a spot. ((& carol, if you're reading, i didn't even attempt to replace the f-er with frack or fiddlesticks or stupid idiot. it just came out. *sigh*))
  

• i must stop letting adeline talk me into putting her hair barrettes in my hair. she will pull one out of her hair (yes, ouch) & then push it into my head (yes, ouch again) so i say no no, that's for addy, not mama & then suddenly my brain stops working & i'm putting her barrette in my hair & then she laughs & oogles over how beautiful it looks in my hair, etc. then millie chases me around trying to grab it out. good times! but then i totally forget it's in my hair & *then i leave the house* wearing a pink plastic butterfly barrette. lovely! hello wes! tell me these things before i walk out of the house!

• amelia is working a tooth out *finally* this has been nearly 2 months in the making. the swollen gums, the drool, the diarrhea, etc. we think this b/c she had a lego dude in her mouth for an entire 70 minutes tonight. that was after she chewed on the infant dropper all day.
  

• amelia & i had our first date out together this morning. of course, we went to starbucks & she was treated to a raspberry muffin & floor scum (she chose to pick up & attempt to eat floor scum mostly). it was fun & she *loved* it. her eyes just light up even more than usual when she has my undivided attention, which makes my eyes light up i'm sure. what a kid.

• & how would i do this blog without wes? who knew that 'undo' is <>??? not me. but he does. what a guy, what a hubby. i tell ya.
  

whhhaaattt?!

today we finally got our butts down to addy's school to pay the fees (that were due last week) & turn in the rest of her paperwork (due 3 weeks ago). since the preschool is separate from the actual elementary school the secretary didn't know what to do with all her paperwork & our fee payment, so we were sent down to addy's soon-to-be classroom. filled with the afternoon class of kids. in school. i was ready for the teacher to be a bit peeved & abrupt...

but! her teacher, mrs. r., is amazing & was so kind to us & seemed genuinely happy that we came in so adeline could see the classroom again. she magically integrated adeline quickly (they were messing with play dough, come on, i guess that was an easy sell) & then took the paperwork, gave us some more paperwork (forced *smile* on my part. MORE?!) & then walked me to the school nurse to get, again, more paperwork for her tree nut allergy & epi pen situation. THEN she dropped a bomb: school pictures are tomorrow! and she wants us to bring addy in to get her picture taken for both the individual & also for the ever popular group picture. *GASP*

i kinda sorta still see adeline as a toddler. you know, my first baby. this whole school picture thing quickly launched her from maybe an older toddler into preschool kid land & i nearly burst out in tears right there in the school hallway *next to addy's locker*. i was all 'of course addy will come to get her picture taken, that's nice of you to offer that before she's officially a student' blah blah blah all the while thinking to myself 'don't cry don't cry don't cry'. it's all about the life cycle & i know she's ready for this preschool & after a few days i will acclimate & accept that my baby is now in school, if only for 4 days a week, 2 1/2 hours a day. plus, she gets speech, physical, & occupational therapy there as well. (PLUS her individual therapy at children's hospital...which has become *wow* expensive with our new insurance. but her speech therapist said adeline is severe enough to need it for probably another year...good bye date night, eh?)

anyway, so tomorrow i get to drop adeline off for an hour so she can get her *first ever* school picture taken. did i mention in a bright orange tie-dyed t-shirt that could fit as a dress? (hhmm, thanks PTA??). humph. i think i'll still send her with a cute shirt, just in case that bright orange tie-dyed shirt is for the group picture. i know fashion-addy will either love it or hate it & can't wait to see which it will be when we get the group photo back in a few weeks (either elated adeline or pissed off & crying adeline...yes, all b/c of a shirt).

the best of all, though? she was enjoying herself in the classroom. she didn't become upset & clingy & she was sad to leave the school. she said bye bye to the classroom *all the way home* which is cute & endearing but after 5 minutes wes & i were like, okay i think you said your goodbyes already *enough*.

did i mention she will be in the YEARBOOK?! oh yes, we are going to buy one. & grandparents, aunts, uncles, fake aunties (you know who you are): exactly what size photo do you want?
***
yes, wes is home as of midnight last night. he made coffee for me this morning & was crazy enough to let me sleep in a bit (neither of us sleep when he's flying). but right now he's taking a much needed nap with adeline. we are ALL happy to have him back. you should have heard the gasp adeline gave when she saw him in her doorway this morning. 'MY DADDDDYYY!!!' *laugh laugh, hug hug giggle giggle, tickle, laugh* that's how it went.

a few days worth

this was just taken about 15 minutes ago. yes, it's wet & a bit chilly outside, but christine rocks to the point of taking my girls outside to play so i can chill out for a few moments (mornings are very rough on my muscles & the headache, oh the headache). so what do i do with this time? drink coffee & upload pictures & decide to post a bit.

i don't think i could have gotten through the past 2 days without christine here helping me. amazing friend? CHECK. (plus other friends helping out as well; i mean, holli rocked & rocked crying amelia last night until i got home...)

so this is amelia getting stuck in the lego basket. she enjoyed her time in there until she tried to get out. she finally figured it out, how to dismount & then immediately went back into the basket. crazy kid. then she dumped the basket & started to throw legos around. good times.

& this is the man we all miss right now.
i mean, he's doing dishes, how can we *not* miss him?!

adeline dressing like a swiss mountain girl from the early 20th century. at least that's what wes & i thought she looked like (this was from saturday)

ooohh, classic. someday when i have more time i'm going to make a picture book filled with pictures like these, the ones to show her when she's in her teens, the ones that scream 'i had such an oppressing childhood!'. i'm sure amelia will have a book filled as well, no doubt (it may even be thicker than adeline's...)

amelia walking a bit. in her ohio university sweatshirt, the only thing wes will put her in from now until next summer. i'll say 'can you get amelia dressed' & he may come downstairs with amelia in pants, a white onesie & then this *jacket* sweatshirt. (at least that's what happened often with adeline)

the sweet baby looking up to the heavens, lamenting about her human status as one who can't get her point across yet. she looks reasonably happy still.


yesterday i dropped christine & the girls off at the rec center to play while i did some grocery shopping. alone! so i went to marcs--i would *never* go to marcs with a kid, it never ends well-- but i was driving down state street at just past 11 a.m. & was stopped in traffic right in front of addy's school. i look over & the preschoolers are getting out of class, being connected with their parent or whomever; going home. it was adorable, seeing all of addy's future class mates being walked out single file to their parents, complete with backpacks nearly as large as they are. from 100 feet away i could tell that they were happy & giddy & that made my mama heart warm & gushy. then, it just *hit me* that in 1 week, we will be picking adeline up from her first day of school! i guess since it's with the school district & is 4 days a week i sorta feel like she's going to real school, not just preschool. anyway, the thought was very delightful & stunning that my sweet baby adeline will be one of those kids just next week. & then for the next 14 years she will be going to school. then she's gone, off to college (i guess if she so chooses). it's all going so fast... but so is life & that's okay.

plus she has a birthday this friday that she is *SO EXCITED* about. i asked her what kind of cake she wants, chocolate or vanilla/white. she said chocolate (my kind of girl!). so chocolate it will be. i can tell she loves chocolate also b/c yesterday morning she woke up before christine or i, went downstairs & ate all the m&m's in the bowl (she gets 2 when she pees in the potty, FIVE if she poops...not motivation enough, apparently). there were a good deal of m&m's left in the bowl from the night before so she was in a rather happy mood after munching them all down very quickly i'm sure. a load of chocolate in the morning will do that to ya. no worries, she also got the big hospital cup out, filled it with water & stuck in her fav swirly straw, drinking probably nearly a pint of water... & then ate 3 *frozen* blueberry waffles. miss independent.
***
& it is official: amelia is ornery. almost everyone comments on it recently. i can vouch for it. & now christine can vouch for it. yesterday she was on top of the dining room table. last week i found her on top of the kitchen counter. there are many more stories along the same line, but in plain words: wes & i are in for it. i knew it.
***
now i must start helping christine with the little ladies now that bio freeze in kicking in on the muscle situation...

among other things

so wes has to go to mccall, idaho for work very soon. he is required to wear a sport jacket, dress shirt, tie & dress pants. when he discovered this he threw a mini hissy fit. as in why else did i become an engineer except for the fact that i will most likely get to wear jeans & t shirts to work?! so get this folks, he is borrowing a sport jacket, shirt, & tie from my *dad*! i have to say, my dad is a fairly spiffy dresser; the type of history teacher who wears ties & dress shirts to work even on jean-friday. but wes trying these jackets on & getting fashion advice from my parents & wes' attitude about the whole thing, it's just too much humor for me to handle.

but then the whole situation went OVER THE EDGE (off the hook?) when we paired the jacket/shirt/tie with a pair of his dress pants (from maybe high school? let's just say long enough for the style to go out of vogue, then go back in vogue) & they're actually very nice pants (b/c he *never* wears them). so he buttoned the pants & i was like why are they pulled up so high, dear, hello flood... & he had this look of internal combustion going on & then let his breath & belly out & nearly popped the buttons off. (they were pulled up so high b/c that's the only place he could get the buttons to button). then *POOF* went the pleats, making him look oddly pregnant & i could not contain myself, i simply threw my head into a pillow & laughed hysterically as he quickly took them off & was all i don't know why they don't fit...

so we now are going shopping after amelia wakes up from her nap (even though i suggested we go last night with only one kid to two around). wish us luck. i may just send wes with the girls to the play area at either mall & then buy about 10 pair & have him try them on at home, returning the ones that didn't work out. it is *painful* taking wes shopping. he's like a junior high boy with that look of torture in the dressing room. but i know if he goes alone he will come home with the *cheapest* article of clothing that may or may not resemble what he went looking to buy. you know, he needs dress pants to match this sport jacket w/ shirt/tie & comes home with a new pair of tennis shoes. but hey, they were cheap & sturdy!

until we leave for the mall adeline & wes are defying all clothing & fashion ideals. both are walking around in a shirt found on the floor, both in their underwear. geeee, wonder where adeline gets the no pants thing from?
***
in case you missed this: wes is going to *MCCALL IDAHO WITHOUT ME*. with the original dates given to him, i was actually going to go with him. now that's not possible once they changed the dates. i'm so bummed about it... i mean, i could've gone to see all my boise friends & then walked around mccall & slept in! ah well. i do have someone staying with me while he's gone. a child buffer.
***
so what all these things mean is that i'm going to miss my hubby *muy mucho*. really, who's going to make my coffee in the morning?! who's going to tell me i look beautiful still in my pj's at 5 p.m. w/ unruly hair? who's going to look at me after the kids are in bed & plead 'ice cream' with his eyes? yea, i know, he'll only be gone a few days. i think. there is a slight worry in my mind that is flashing *RED* *RED* *RED* your idaho loving husband is leaving to go there by himself after such a stressful summer...will he return?!

my only request is that if he doesn't return (meaning he's left his family for the idaho mountains) i will contract with a few lady friends in boise to hunt him down & bring him back as a human pretzel. really, do i think wes will abandon us? NO! it's just something to tease him about. plus he wouldn't have me there to remind him to stay on the trail for the love of everything civilized & non-dead. or to remind him the last time we went off trail we walked by a coiled rattlesnake & then i ran off screaming obscenities, passed out, hit my head on a rock in the water (btw: this IS how i think the tumor started. it all began with a snake run in. the time frame matches, roughly 5 years ago). then the time before that when we went off trail, griswold rolled down the side of a mountain about 30 feet & wes & a friend had to climb down through briers & rocks to *carry* griswold back up.

anyway, idaho, treat him well, even though we left you.
***
adeline is just now dancing around the den, sans pants, with a music baby toy. the dancing consists of circles & her tongue sticking out. ???

good bye

amelia learns something new every day. sometimes it's destructive (monday & tuesday morning) sometimes it's very cute & awing...thankfully that was this morning.

amelia was hanging onto her daddy's legs while he was looking up something on the computer. wes turned to her & i was sitting near them & said 'daddy has to go to work now, go bye bye'. amelia smiled up at him with a wonderful in love with daddy smile & SAID 'buh buh dada' & and *waved* to him! no prompting, she just did it. of course, wes had this look of i'm the best daddy in the world.

but i did just pull amelia's grubby hands out of the dirt pot again (no, we still haven't taken it out yet. but hey, it's too heavy for me). & another odd thing going on around here--suddenly my kids LIKE being in the pack n play. adeline climbed in there herself today (she had to move a chair over & then launched herself over the edge) & they are both now in there--SMILING & LAUGHING--watching dora. (except when amelia pulls addy's hair, that doesn't go over very well). just a few months ago, they both tipped over the pack n play b/c they were trying to get out so much. miracles do happen, folks.

name this problem.

this is where my kids currently are: in the pack n play. until their aunt kristi arrives to bring sanity to my world.

yesterday amelia dumped addy's cereal bowl & managed to swim around in the cereal mess on the carpet. then after i cleaned that up & got crying adeline another bowl of cereal & was taking amelia upstairs to get new *dry* clothes on her, she grabbed my cup of coffee out of my freakin hand & launched it onto the floor. *an entire cup of coffee onto the floor* so i put her down & cleaned that up, got more coffee & this time let her climb up the stairs by herself. halfway up, she grabbed for my coffee AGAIN & spilled it. i'm telling you she has ninja quick moves, nothing like i've ever seen before & something my post-tumor physical responses can't match. then i get her cleaned up & am still trying to be all motherly & tickle her nose & what does she do in response? tears my glasses off my face & throws them on the ground. kind & motherly left the house at that point.

this morning, as i was finally figuring out that patrick swayze died & watched a short 2 minute clip from that dancing movie of his (that i never got to watch. never.) amelia went all baby destroyer droid on me & decided to take out a houseplant. in stealth mode. i finally noticed at the end of the clip, after she had been tugging on my pant leg for a few seconds & i was like 'what's all that black stuff on amelia?' OH SHIT.

there was a trail of destruction leading from the plant--which she has never shown ANY interest in before--& mounds of dirt. i had cleaned most of it up before i decided to take a picture. she is covered in dirt. she needs a bath.

i need my anxiety medication. i called my mom, a mom friend, (already talked to wes) & no one answered. so i called my sister & she was all 'I'M ON MY WAY OVER' & maybe a slight hint of 'don't kill your kids before i get there'. did i mention that adeline had a THREE FREAKIN HOUR TANTRUM LAST NIGHT?! 3 hours. of her crying, kicking things, throwing things, refusing to do anything remotely resembling calming down. she cried in her bed for 2 hours after that. wes & i went to bed feeling like the worst parents in the world.

so then i get off the phone with my sister this morning, got some more coffee, must have taken my glasses off? went upstairs to take an anxiety pill *b/c who doesn't need one in times like these?!* found the pill, my cup for water, put more water in the cup, unbeknownst to me dumped the water out, popped the pill in my mouth & then tried to take a drink from the empty cup. then i realized i couldn't even see a damn thing *where are my glasses?!* & then filled the cup up, etc. went looking for my glasses & found them by the coffee pot.

& now i'm just waiting for my sister to come over & give some comic relief & minor therapy & maybe she'll get crazy & do a baby snatch or something. but seriously, *what's up with my kids?!* amelia already climbs up onto the stool for adeline & knows how to turn water on & off & was playing in the water this morning (before plant incident). smart or mischievous?

school supplies list

first lets start with a great amelia crying picture. at this point she's in her high chair waiting for her snack. our kids screech when they're hungry like we never feed them.

& while i'm on the topic of amelia...this darn girl will *not* drink milk! nor will she sleep all night most nights. i am really hoping it could be teething (can teething last for 2 months?!) & she's on antibiotics for the ear infection...but this has been going on for such a long time. DARN IT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. if we let her cry, she will cry for *hours* & then will usually not go back to sleep after that (yes, even if it's at 3 a.m.) for hours. if we pick her up she just yawns & stares up at us with her big blue eyes. sometimes she likes to play. sometimes we are at the brink of disaster & offer her a bottle, which she will at times take, other times refuse. can babies have insomnia?

other than that amelia is in love with the trader joe's version of cheetohs. i'm hoping they're a bit more healthy for her than the real deal, but...probably not, eh? well, she loves her cheesy sticks. & at this point she's eating an adult size portion at lunch & dinner. she's our current garbage disposal. AND she loves tomatoes! odd duck.

***
so yes, school days are approaching. adeline starts preschool on the 28th, as you may remember. so today i decided to take adeline *with me* to purchase all the stuff from her school supplies list. but mainly i wanted her with me so i could buy her a pair of shoes. well, i *totally* forgot about the shoes b/c the supplies list that didn't seem so daunting was in fact very daunting & took us all over target. PLUS the back to school sales are over already! HUMPH.

the teacher specified certain name brands for things. name brands that target didn't have (like fiskar scissors. & not rose art or crayola watercolors...what's the freakin difference?!) so i hope she's not all in a huff when addy brings along waterford scissors & crayola watercolors...

so then came the highly difficult task of choosing a back pack. for some reason she has to have a regular sized back pack--maybe for a notebook or something? i duuno. she's THREE! folks, adeline has fashion opinions even about back packs. i felt like i was standing there with a teenager, discussing the pros & cons of each back pack. finally i laid out 4 choices & made her pick one. (gasp & sobs: the dora back pack at target was too small! *sniffle sniffle, sob sob*)

this was her choice. which she now tells me that she doesn't like. i was like 'hey don't you like this plain purple one that's on clearance?' her reply: no, not.

& this is her *fake* smile when we asked her to smile for the picture with her new back pack. giddy.

so this back pack was like $18! what?! i was expecting around $10. then i go to the wal mart website & they have gobs of the back packs for $10 or under. i should've just gone to wal mart, i suppose. now i just need to find cloth name tags to put on her back pack, snack pack (yes, she needs one of these too), extra set of clothes, & her jackets & coats. i had no clue getting ready for a special needs school district preschool would be soooo involved! i mean, with all the fees & supplies we have now reached the cost of tuition for a private preschool for one month. *smile*

on friday night adeline & daddy went to the westerville south football game. addy *loves* football games. all the people clapping & shouting & the bands & lights in the dark sky. loves it. this is the outfit she chose (head band is purple & sparkly, of course) with her beloved pink sunglasses.

and this is adeline & amelia finding the baby wipes, wetting them down (we do cloth wipes *thankfully* they had just been washed) then adeline was showing amelia the fine art of wiping down walls with butt cloths. they were both having a grand time.

seriously, where do these kids come from? in love with sparkly ultra girly stuff ... enjoy cleaning!? ... adeline could not leave the house today until she found her elaborate clip-on bracelet that i found for her at a thrift store. it's okay, i love them anyway. they did get this from me: the ability to stay in pajamas all day & be completely content.

a few good, a few bad

within the past 2 hours a few things occured that i *need* to write about.

1. blond incident
during both pregnancies i actually prayed that god would somehow make my girls have black hair, to get wes' genes (if you've know our girls, that prayer was not answered, grrr). i do not like my blond hair very much for several reasons the main reason being that i end up being the butt of jokes or not taken very seriously at times. i can at some point recall more examples than i have phalanges. want an example, you non believers? first year college professor, math 101 (yes, i suck at math, i understand that) & i quote: you don't have to be that good at math; you're a blond! you'll get through life just fine without great math skills". yes, that was in front of the ENTIRE class. laughter followed (not by me, i was more shooting darts at that ass of a professor). at one point, someone who is a very kind & funny person said a (funny) blond joke & i totally started sobbing. not against that person, but just b/c it was about the 4th one i'd heard that week & i was trying to not be upset about it...so i cried instead. talk about an awkward moment for everyone there, lol.

so today, i ventured to a verizon wireless store to get a new phone *finally* after my last one flew off the car & became a mush of wires & plastic. i go in, see other customers being taken care of, mill around looking at phones & then a sales dude approached me. i explained that i'm out of contract, wanting a new phone for about $40 & i want a alpha key pad. i had done my homework, checked out online versus in store & we get a discount through wes' (shh, previous) employer.

the sales dude then starts to talk to me like an elementary kid. you know--well, you mean you need something so you can text faster? we're out of phones that are unique colors (i didn't even ask). look at this trick this phone can do, flips both ways, neat huh? do you need a hand figuring this one out? blah blah blah. i look around & another woman is in there, similar age & appearance & she is being taken seriously, given numbers right away, talking business right? this dude is talking to me like all i care about is getting a phone that is shiny or pink. i barely got out 'thanks for your time' before i turned & walked away as he was hovering around me while i looked at other phones. looong story short, this happens randomly to me & if it were just once, i would take it as a terrible sales job. when it continuously happens & the more assertive i get, the more cutesy they get with me...well, i want to kick them in the family jewels.

it's hard enough being taken seriously as a woman in a tech place/store but the worst was seeing another woman being treated with respect & then me being downsized, my only guess is b/c i look like the blond bimbo that pop culture makes me out to be. not saying that i'm all hot with large breasts hanging out everyone going 'well, duh, like yea' ... but i have blond hair & that's usually enough to be treated like an idiot.

now you know: don't tell blond jokes around me. i used to ignore or laugh & feel terrible about myself (teens). then i would get upset but not know what to say, then cry (20's). now i'm getting pissed about it & who knows, i may just end up arrested b/c i kicked someone in the nads. (so you know, i have NEVER heard a blond joke from a woman. never; hence the testicle kicking talk).

i think i'll be dying my hair shortly. maybe red will fit better with my anger possibilities.

***
2. grocery store on a budget
we're crunching numbers here, yes, even though i'm blond, *smile* & trying to cut down on costs everywhere. we can't afford babysitters. we can't afford another brain tumor FOR SURE. i mean, nearly every week we get a medical bill(s) around $100. so now that harold drained our savings & our lack of immune systems are draining our flexible income, we have crunched our budget, lowered numbers... gone are the weeks of $150 at the grocery store. so i went today (fuming, after the verizon store) & made my way through the grocery hoping to hit around $75... well, i am proud to announce i got out of the store for an entire week of dinners & lunches for *SIXTY DOLLARS* (& that includes a three pound rack of pork ribs--$10--for wes' new smoker, a surprise for him being wonderful). wait, that also included a bag of kit kats for me to eat my anger away.

i left the store with a renewed sense of power--we can make it on this new budget! what i saved at the grocer makes up for the $30 spent at the pharmacy this week, lol. wes & i were talking about it last night & i want this income decrease to be more of a challenge. are we up for it? can i say the big *N O* to the extras at the grocery store? to new clothes for a few seasons? to eating out to save my sanity (must get planning meals down better this year than last). but i'm feeling good about it.

***
3. 70's music enjoyment.
somehow even though i grew up going to gbc & going to a private gbc (grace brethren church; conservative, the kind that boycotted the smurfs in the 80's. i know many people who love that church, but i can also vouch for myself & several others who were more than hurt by it) & we weren't allowed to listen to secular radio or most tv shows (heck, we didn't even have a tv half the time)...anyway, somehow my dad got away with letting us listen to classic rock, the good stuff. i remember a led zeppelin lp very well & it was played so blaring loud that windows shook in the house sometimes. so then i become a teenager & did't really want to listen to what my parents listen to & got interested in the grunge stuff & L7 (shitlist! how can you not like that song?!) & ani difranco, etc. then i date a jerk of a 70's music fan (you know, the abusive guy who thought he would be a rock star & made blond jokes constantly?). so after all of that 70's music/classic rock gave me a bad vibe & i mostly refused to listen to it for nearly a decade.

today, driving back from the grocery store, after my rock bottom experience at the verizon store then after my wonderful *under* budget trip for food...a 70's song was the only good thing on the radio. so i listened to it as i sat through a red light (there are so many of those on polaris pkwy!). {really, columbus does not have great radio stations for the size of the city. come on, boise, idaho had better station selection! & they have a million less residents! *AND* in boise there was always the option of the spanish music stations when nothing good was on (in fact, they had 2! TWO! i used to just listen to those stations sometimes, loved it.)} anyway, i listened to the song, i knew it of course (thanks dad *smile*) & actually started to enjoy it. i turned it up. i even tapped my finger on the steering wheel like my dad does & sang it out loud (yes, my voice is back!).

i'm just saying it was a good moment. i decided not to drive back to the verizon store & kick the sales dude in the nuts.

a friday morning

last night our ex (boise) neighbors left to continue their journey. we had a great time with them! we miss you, houcks! adeline looked out the window & went 'hhmm, choo choo??'

so this morning is shaping up to be a normal friday morning. we have a possible get-out-of-the-house playdate, amelia has a boo boo, adeline has watched dora AND curious george & i'm not even finished with my 1st cup of coffee.

so while adeline was eating her breakfast, amelia colored her first picture. on addy's book stickers (they're not normal stickers, they only stick to this certain princess book). adeline has not discovered this intrusion of personal property yet....

& here is what a 12 month old looks like after a free 5 minutes with a marker.

so amelia's boo boo went like this: baby climbing up wooden kid slide. baby laughing & dancing to music. baby attempting to turn around on top of slide. baby fell under the hand rails, backwards & hit head & eye on corner of wall. yea, lots of screaming. but adeline came to the rescue sharing her little bear & stuffed curious george.

i am trying to be positive today, you know, this *will* be a good day, etc blah. maybe it will. maybe adeline will act like a spawn of the devil as she did last night. maybe amelia will only nap for 40 minutes like she did yesterday. who knows. but already the was picked up house is a mess & the girls are fighting (well, amelia is antagonizing, adeline is being selfish you know the rest). & why am i typing when i could be drinking coffee?!

the old amelia

amelia is slowly coming back to life after a stint with vaccines, a cold turned ear infection, a discovery that she is *allergic* to penicillin (amoxicillan). last night she slept for 12 hours! this morning her eyes are bright again & she is roaming the house looking for things to discover. yes, she did that the past 10 days but this time she's in her discovery mode without the whining cry that means "pick me up NOW". since i have started to type, she has climbed up & down our wooden indoor kid slide 4 or 5 times, smiling back at me before she goes down the slide (she has now learned to turn around & go down feet first on her belly! not head first--she still does this but i think it's for adventure's sake)

so now adeline has caught this nastiness we have in this home & also has an ear infection with a fever. another double trip to the pediatrician later & we are filled to the gills with antibiotics! i nearly have my voice back but it's shaky & unpredictable. i tried to quack like a duck for amelia last night while reading a book & wes was like *don't ever try to make that noise again* b/c it sounded like it came from the belly of the devil? hhmm, i don't know. men.

***

what else besides illness is going on? well, our rv neighbors are still here. sadly, they will be leaving tomorrow or friday morning. it's so strange--we haven't really talked with them a whole lot since we moved but we have just picked up like we've been neighbors the whole time. but only better b/c we've been around each other a lot & we still like each other! lol.

i am beyond ready for us all to feel better. so we can go do things (like shop for adeline's school list. & new school shoes. this girl grows out of shoes faster than i can say velcro...i'm thinking converse? i'm giving up on the expensive shoes b/c she's had a blister nearly all summer. before you think it, nope, wearing socks & a band aid DO NOT help. she will just get a blister somewhere else on the same foot...*sigh*). so off to target we go soon (oh in the next 2 weeks?). hopefully. if no one else gets sick.

***

here's a trivia question: how long does it take an insurance company to issue a family their new insurance cards?

answer: for sure over 3 weeks.

if i could talk & have that very stern, but sweet phone voice i would be calling up blue cross blue shield & giving them hell about this. i mean, we've gone to 4 doc appointments, filled 5 prescriptions & every time we get the 'get your new insurance card' lecture. i want to make someone pay for this. like the insurance company--PAY FOR OUR ILLNESSES...like your job description states! oh, while on this topic, the same stupid insurance folks sent me a letter, personally signed mind you, explaining that with my diagnosis it may be wise to go with what they called a 'insurance healthcare case worker' who would help me figure it all out. whaatt? i thought that was funny. maybe they don't understand that a baby plus brain tumor plus brain surgery = not on ongoing condition? at least i hope they don't have the inside scoop to know that an acoustic neuroma is an ongoing condition? anyway, i found it humorous. you know--it's like i'm elderly & they see the need b/c of my $160K (yes, we're up to that now) in insurance care claims to send someone to help me. what am i missing?

***

ji6 t jhg6bgtbtbtbtbtbtbtbtehjmny IIIIIIIIK66B BV ,IK6IOTEFYE4FFVV/

that was a note from amelia, who is ready for her mom to stop typing & play with her already.

what can i say?

the answer to the title question: NOTHING! i have lost my voice. no, not my ability to give my opinion to an audience, but my actual voice is gone & barely audible (this is a first). i started to get a wee bit sick on thursday, friday it hit me hard, saturday my voice started to crack like a teenager & this morning i woke up & can barely whisper. crazy, crazy, cray. so besides the fact that 2 of my 5 senses have been compromised (not counting my dire need to have glasses or contacts lest i walk into walls or think clouds are truly marshmallows), now the ability to speak has been temporarily taken away from me as well. you know, half of my head is numb to touch, i can't hear a whole lot out of my left ear, & now i can't talk. what next? i've always been afraid of going blind...lol. besides my throat hurting like someone has poured boiling oil down it, i'm feeling better & sort of think this no talking thing is kinda *funny*. i mean, it has to be wes' favorite day yet since our marriage! lol...his wife can't tell him what to do or how to do it. (i'm sure he doesn't quite feel that way, but i *bet* there's a part of him that's like 'hhmm, this isn't all too bad for me' *smile*).

so don't call me. i can answer, BUT...you won't hear me. it will be a pointless conversation, a waste of our time. you can text me! or email! i can barely even discipline the kids, so i'm sort of removed from most things, lol. you know i can still give that MAMA MEAN LOOK, though, right? the look that should send shivers of fear up & down adeline & amelia's spines? yes, i can still do that. but don't ask me for directions or advice. you'll be lost.

so how am i still a bit happy & finding humor in really annoying things? well, we have house guests ?? technically, not house guests, just guests b/c they live in their rv & it's parked outside our house. they were our next door neighbors in boise & have kept up a email & facebook friendship since moving. then they rented out their home & followed jesus' lead that they were to travel the great u.s. of a. serving others ( http://www.share5.org/ ) they have amazing stories about jesus sending them to certain places to help people & just plain serve others. share their time, share their jesus joy, etc. plus we just really love the houcks! so they are here to stay for about a week to sorta help us out while i'm recovering & getting back into the groove of stay at home mamaness. chad (the hubby/father) helped wes do some deck demolition yesterday while amy & i went to trader joe's & then she got a very beautiful hair cut from my stylist. good things for everyone.

another fine part of the houcks being here is that adeline has become fast friends with their kids (girl age 5, boy age 4). when she wakes up in the morning she points outside to their rv (what she views as a train, lol) & starts going CHOOO CHOOOO, hhhmmm, emy, emy (a version of their daughter's name) & is quite taken with the boy. they are both some of the sweetest, most tenderhearted kids i've ever met. wes & i have always strived to be parents like chad & amy (since we knew them & their kids before we had kids). know what i mean, it was the thought 'we want our kids in the future to be like their kids in that our kids will love others & feel secure enough about themselves to be kind & mind their parents, etc etc' & OHMYGOSH, these kids are amazing.

their boy in a play hat, w/ griswold
me pushing the dress-up girls. they even had play names! adorable.3 musketeers watching tv. adeline will be so sad when they leave.so the houcks & their share5 rv are here, helping us out & rekindling a friendship from a few years ago & still inspiring us along the way. amazing.

***
did i mention that amelia is (supposedly per pediatrician...i dunno) teething 8 teeth including her molars all at once, plus has an ear infection & a 104.3 fever when not inundated with motrin & tylenol? wes & adeline are mostly healthy (wes has a minor version of my virus). i 2nd kristin brandt's wish: i hope this is not an indication of how this winter will go as well (they had a winter of illness misery last year as well). or i will lose it (my mind).

in other news, adeline had her first smore last night during our bonfire. wes has found a lego fanatic friend in the houck's boy & i just found out that trader joe's has a version of THE OREO! what next?!

***

i'm off to eat a popsicle!

pre school open house!

so yesterday we found out adeline was going to preschool. then they mentioned, oh tomorrow is the open house for this preschool from 10-11, you must be there. OH, okay, rearrange schedule a bit. so we talked to adeline about it last night & she was excited; when she woke up this morning... folks, she was plain giddy w/ anticipation & excitement. she laid in bed with me for about 5 minutes chattering on about happy things & i kept picking out 'addy go' so i'm assuming she was talking & singing about going to preschool.

here is a picture of her school (i blanked out the name, in case you are thinking westerville schools needs help with their spelling)
the class is about 11 or maybe 12 students & they range in age from adeline (the youngest!) to nearly 6 years old. one kid was wearing a buzz light year outfit. okay, the word outfit doesn't fully credit this kid's clothing choice. it was a total body covering of buzz light year, leather-looking with detachable features & everything, from neck to feet. i am only assuming his mom made some sort of treaty with him so that he wouldn't wear the buzz light year helmet into school. i'm guessing by thanksgiving adeline & this boy will be swapping fashion ideas.

as i mentioned to my sister earlier today, adeline took nearly as long as me to find the right outfit this morning (my fall & winter clothes are put away, that was my fault). first she wanted to wear really short shorts. i said no shorts; too cold. then she decided on a dress instead of pants. we put on the dress & woah it's about 1 inch shorter than it was 2 weeks ago! sorry, can't let my daughter go to her preschool open house with butt cheeks hanging out...so she didn't get to wear the crazy tights she had picked out (the outfit would've been classic adeline: shapes, colors, stripes everywhere & no pants!). we agreed on jeans under the dress (after several attempts to get simple leggings on...she was adamant, no leggings today) with her blue 'running' shoes (they are totally not running shoes, but she thinks she can run really well in them, so....we're leaving it at that).

so we meet the teachers & they are *amazing* & as the students file in adeline loosens her grip on my leg & starts to play & is smiling, laughing, & seems to be over joyed. i loved watching her. in fact, i didn't fill out all the paperwork b/c i just sat there with a dumb mama-in-love smile on my face watching her start her school journey. so far for me this has not been a sad time--how can i be sad when she is *SO EXCITED*?! sadly, wes decided it was best that he work a full day so he missed today...you *know* he will be at her first day of school, though.

this is the part that totally took me by surprise: adeline has a locker! you know, like in a hallway with all the other elementary school kids. WOAH! yea, it's in the preschool section, right beside her room, but i about pissed my pants when i saw that; it just seems to make her older, more mature. (plus, take note, the name given is addy & not adeline. fear confirmed.)

again, faded out the other students' names, but this is to prove that she has a for real locker...

...& she's opening it with gusto. she even found out that she sorta fits inside of it (hair will be pulled by the metal prongs, though, ouch). this is the time that addy's personality emerged: a leader of curious things. so since this is a special needs classroom, they have a few 'typical' kids as well, to act as positive peers & examples of age-appropriate language & kindness & ability for follow rules & instruction & such. well, i think addy met one of these typical peers. this girl was talking up a storm, asking adeline full sentence questions & trying to get adeline to JUMP. in response, adeline instead swayed this girl to attempt with her to climb into their lockers. they seemed to exchange a mischievous hello-to-you smile during that time. i think they'll be friends.

oops, didn't get the whole outfit picture for the grandparents, sorry. but addy did make sure to put on her favorite ultra important hat & matching purse (which only held two granola bars... in case preschool = starvation possibility)

i can't believe she'll start preschool in a few weeks. the official date for the older kids is tomorrow but adeline will start the monday after her birthday on september 28. i'm pretty sure i'm ready to send her off & after today i *KNOW* that she's ready. it's so official now, she's going to school. i mean, we have a *school supplies list*! i suddenly feel old. & she need a regular size backpack. & snack pack. & where did we put her social security number? ...