for the love of food

monday night we were eating dinner on the patio...ham & cheese sandwiches & pasta salad & watermelon. pretty tasty, eh? adeline pushes her plate away telling us she's done eating & then goes into the house. we hear her rummaging around doing something & a few minutes later she walks back onto the patio barely holding onto a half gallon of chocolate milk. she then tells us she wants some chocolate milk. "that's my girl!" was wes' response.
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amelia, oh amelia, how you confuse your parents. one day, you only want table food, preferably something you can feed yourself. the next day, you only eat veggie chips (hey, no judging; they say VEGGIE in the name!). the day after that you eat a full cup of baby rice cereal & make 'mmmmhhmmm' noises. the next day you are back to table food. what are we to do with you?
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things adeline will eat straight out of the container:
sugar
salt
whipped cream in a can
ketchup
grated parmesan cheese
french onion chip dip
honey
hot sauce (only once)

things adeline will swipe to eat herself:
cookies
apples
my cereal in my bowl as i'm eating it
sugar (or any aforementioned item)
frozen nuggets
frozen blueberries
okay, my daughter will swipe anything & eat it herself, this list was about to get too long.

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amelia ate her first cookie yesterday; it was an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. i have one of the best recipes for this cookie. yum yum. but i'm not sharing. just kidding! i will share if anyone wants it. so anyway, amelia had her first cookie yesterday & she was in love, even more than with her first pizza. she flapped like a chicken the entire time she was munching on this cookie (oh, 10 minutes?) which made adeline give her even more of her own cookie (sharing is good). when adeline was a baby or younger than 24 months (she's 31 months), we tried over & over to get her to eat sweat or very salty things (ice cream, chips, cookies, cake, chocolate, etc etc) & she refused them with a look of "why are you, my parents, trying to poison me?! get thy high fructose corn syrup away from my healthy lips!!" but she has quickly adjusted since about last fall around the time when amelia was born...egads, is she an emotional eater? (probably & yes, she gets that from me). amelia on the other hand has been completely different. yes, she's already eating cookies & chips & is completely refusing with a pout of disgust all bananas. this is just something that tickled my mama funny bone today as i watched amelia chomping away at a cookie.

& another thing i love about babies: yawns. not only does it mean i'm close to getting them asleep, but wow, is it ADORABLE when they contort their entire face just to get that little yawn out & then that weak little noise that goes along with it. smoldering mama heart.

not much is going on here today, as you can tell with my post about food. i hope you have eaten something highly yummy today.

update on the hearing & speech situation

i think i left all this in limbo, so here's what we know at this point:

since adeline had a (very minor) sore throat & the fever going on right before the hearing test & also b/c she didn't fully cooperate during the final hearing test (oh the lovely tantrums) the hearing test results can not be 100% accurate. but the results we did get from the tests they were able to complete showed that adeline has moderate to mild hearing loss. with a normal ear infection comes a very mild hearing loss & i have read from the columbus speech & hearing website that mild hearing loss can be imitated by sticking your fingers in your ears (try it, that's pretty intense hearing loss & that's only the 'mild'). so...if adeline did indeed have an undetectable ear infection, once that heals she would still have mild hearing loss b/c she was tested to have moderate hearing loss. (it goes mild to moderate to severe/profound, i believe). however, she was checked out by her ped the morning of her hearing test, as you may remember...the day of the dr's started with an 8 o'clock ped sick visit walk-in & her ped didn't see any fluid in her ears. but the ped then explained to me over the phone last week that sometimes a child does have fluid in the ear that is not able to be seen by a ped & that sort of fluid could be constantly there or basically a constant ear infection. if it is that simple, she would see an ENT & most likely have tubes put in her ears & that would solve her hearing loss. there is also a chance that if she has this low amount of fluid in her ears for quite some time (i would say about 18 months, since we noticed her vocab & speech decreasing instead of increasing) permanent damage could have been done & tubes would help but not totally solve her hearing loss.

if it is found that she does not have fluid in her ear then again she will be sent to an ENT for further inner ear tests to investigate the cause of her hearing loss. again, tubes could help other causes of hearing loss but if this is the case it is most likely that this loss is permanent & then we would go from there to...hearing aids or other possible surgeries.

when i was talking with the audiologist who did the hearing tests (on the phone last week, a few days after the test), i began to understand that they don't really seem to have a good idea of the 'why' of her hearing loss but they do not want to say the results she had that day are accurate until they do another test 4 weeks after the first test. the weeks in between would give her ears the time to heal if she happened to have this mysterious ear infection & her sore throat would be healed also. i laughed & said that with our record of illnesses this winter, by mid may she will have another illness to contend with & what will we do then (if she has another virus/infection or even if she doesn't cooperate again & let her complete the main test). apparently the last resort test would be done by an ENT & involves severely sedating adeline (to a point of inducing sleep) & using a scan of some sort to test her hearing/brain waves ??? through brain stimulation. i'm kind of thinking this will be the necessary route b/c addy is so, hhmm, strong willed & really didn't like the hearing test. but! i hope it won't come to that.

basically, we are to not assume anything at this point until all the tests are completed again on may 18th. but we know & her pediatrician is in agreement that the hearing loss makes sense. she's very low on her speech, she has fevers & pains that don't make sense (yes! hearing loss can cause unexplained fevers, diarrhea, stomach nausea...this could solve so many problems) & she is highly coordinated but seems unbalanced, which is also a symptom of hearing loss & she startles often (meaning, she doesn't hear us walk up behind her & then suddenly we are there & that will startle her). i must say that if her hearing loss is resolved & thus her knack for falling over & running into things also goes away, i will miss this part of her that is fairly fun to watch (she doesn't hurt herself, just sort of runs into things, lol. ask anyone who has been around her for some time, it's just a bit funny).

wes' mom was able to speak with a speech pathologist who gave some really helpful advice on how to talk to adeline & help her hear better while we are speaking...using some of these techniques this past week, she has already learned 5 new words that she is able to say: home ("ome"), baby, addy, pop-pop, & ball. seriously, for those who have small kids you may think, wow, my 12-15 month old says those things. so, YEA, this is why we're concerned! & if you are around us now when we talk to adeline...well, let's just say you may find it almost humorous b/c we are talking loud & enunciating & getting in front of her to speak with her, so she can hear us & see us talking. it just looks a bit odd, even to us. but! it's working b/c she has never learned 5 words in just a few days. & her speech evaluation is coming up & we may go with a different organization to have it completed (help me grow), which they may be able to meet at our house within one week! (instead of the first week of june like children's hospital, ugh).

so, that's the update!
& if all of this doesn't make sense to you, join me in being confused & uncertain!

i thinkwe have missed something. or not.

now that i've gone through two pregnancies, i have a general idea of what each trimester & month of pregancy feels like. all women who have been pregnant have to remember certain things...the positive pregnancy test, the first time your pants don't button, peeing every 30 minutes (or more!), the tight belly skin that itched me like crazy....i am trying my hardest to avoid mentioning all the ailments my body put me through during those combined 19 months of pregnancy.

let me first clarify: i love my girls!

now that i've said that... i despised being pregnant & i am not so much a baby-person. now when i see a pregnant woman, i don't feel what most mothers or women in general feel. you know, i've heard from so many other females that they lovingly look at prego's with desire of being pregnant & how cute they look, etc. when i spy a prego, i sort of shudder. not b/c they look miserable or terrible but b/c my memory is sparked & i can nearly taste the chicken noodle soup, crackers, & ginger ale that i lived on during amelia's pregnancy (& then the vomit) & then the intense tiredness & discomfort i felt with adeline. i know it's not really 'vogue' to talk poorly of pregnancy b/c yea, you're creating another human, etc etc BLAH BLAH BLAH (sort of like right now you have to fully support all things breastfeeding...but that is a whole separate post!). the truth is that some women have a terrible, miserable pregnancy & that needs to be acknowledged & i certainly do my part in sharing this!

anyway, so when i see prego's, i shudder, right? & i do so knowing that i do not want any more biological kids (wes & i are both entertaining the thought of adopting a boy from the foster care system in 5 or 6 years). this thought is totally okay with me, knowing i am not going to hold my own newborn again, or go through labor & delivery again, or 'try for a boy' as some might ask. i don't become oddly/motherly jealous of women with tiny infants, i don't find the tiny newborn cry adorable. i don't miss the newborn stage where they are dependent on parents for everything. (millie is thankfully leaving that stage quickly). i don't even really feel intense sadness that amelia is nearly crawling. & wes totally is in agreement with me on all these points. we just don't get into the whole baby-love sweep of emotion. we are not baby people & we have realized this after two kids.

we were talking about this the other night & are wondering if we are missing something as parents... you know, are we too selfish? have our expectations a bit too high? but in reality, we have produced two girls who are very active, spirited, independent (yes, amelia & adeline will prove to you that a baby can desire independence at such an age of 6 months or less). they desire such a consistent daily routine that can not be deviated from easily. ..& that is not me. i have adapted to wes' daily regiment of eating at the same time, etc etc...but when it's a kid that only sleeps in her crib at a certain time in the day, well, it wears on me. (sure, amelia will fall asleep sans crib, but she has to be exhausted & then she won't sleep very long in that new location).

up until today i didn't really talk about this with a lot of others. today my friend, judy & i went to a nearby park with our wee ones. she has a 7 month old, elliott...he is just the picture of a cute baby boy, really. since he is so close to amelia's age, i can't help but see the differences in the two & judy & i have laughed about this often. i think today, as we walked home from the park & i was doing everything in my manipulative mama powers to keep adeline from melting down & as amelia screamed at the top of her lungs the.entire.way.home...& then i look over at ellilott who was already asleep in his stroller & who can fall asleep or eat anywhere b/c did i mention that millie nearlly always has to be in THE ROCKING CHAIR IN HER ROOM TO TAKE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE? anyway, as i saw the huge difference in these babies...i didn't laugh anymore. it seems i reached my breaking point & was ready to cry & yell & just lose it in general. thankfully, judy was there to distract my thoughts of 'why are my children so regimented? why are they so strong willed? why can't they be more flexible?' blah blah blah.

& so here it is: i can't wait for amelia's first birthday. i love her now, i love her like any parent loves & adores their baby-child...but i am looking forward to a time when she is less dependent on me for her every need. wes talks about this often with me. we of course, lull her to sleep when she wakes up at night from teething or earache pain...but we don't desire for life to be like this always.

even as i'm typing this i'm sorta getting teary-eyed b/c it's hard to admit that a mother doesn't desire to dote on her baby till the ends of the earth. i'm sure other parents feel this way...but often when i mention something like this to other parents, the reply is "just wait until they tell you they hate you or want a different mommy or talk back to you or move out or get something done to their body' or or or. funny thing is, i'm so sure that adeline has already told me in her way of talking that she hates me & wants a new mommy! she already has this slew of talk-back gibberish when i tell her something she doesn't like. & i sorta find it endearing! it proves to me that she is her own person with her own personality & thoughts. yea, a baby is telling me this by crying, but wow, do i find it more annoying, lol.

so what do i like about babies & about my girls as babies? well, i love the way they smell, yup, even the milk burps & summer heat sweaty-smell. love it, wish i could bottle it up & spray it on them until they turn 18. i love the look of learning something new (but i think that will continue as they mature, eh? let's hope so, lol!). i love the light-up-the-room smile when they see me in the morning (i KNOW tween or teen is not going to give me that!). i also love the rawness of their attitude; toddlers just tell you how it is, even if they can't talk (wait, i think teens do that also, wait, i think kids of all ages do that...). anyway, there are for sure more things i love about my girls, but i especially love that they are growing & maturing & will not depend on me to feed them, change the diapers, & pick their nose for much longer. i am cherishing this time as a mama little ones & i am trying to keep the good & even the not so good events fresh through this blog so i can look back & read all these stories & good times again & again. yes, i cherish my girls, there is no doubt about that...but i also don't think it's anti-mama love to hold onto the desire for preschool. i know, it goes by so fast, so hold onto them tight... hhmm, there has to be a medium point of view out there somewhere.

& saturday still isn't over!

this is the asparagus bed as wes was finishing it...i love my man. he can whip out a raised bed in no time! PLUS, what you don't see is a drainage system under the bed, complete with a water pipe & a bucket with holes & a trench & river rocks. seriously, wes IS the MAN.

picture of asparagus roots just before being gently covered in a few inches of soil. have i ever mentioned how i despise clay soil?! somehow some of the original clay made it into the raised bed & it's just intolerable stuff.

just a cute picture of amelia from today. she really enjoys being outside. we can lay her down in grass & for some odd reason she is so content! yea, i know, weird one. she just feels the grass & rolls around & tries to crawl & then spies one of us & flaps her hands like a bird. we've decided she is just such a happy baby. unless she didn't take a good nap like she had done most of the week. then she is a very grumpy baby, indeed.

asparagus: in! we planted 15 total roots in 3 rows. cross your fingers!

& this is dirty adeline. she had one heck of a day outside! & she peed in the potty so much that she didn't even immediately ask for her going potty m&m's after peeing. one funny thing is that she has apparently forgot about shorts. i pulled out her shorts today for her to wear & she put on her undies, then put on the pair of shorts (her choice, of course...i wouldn't put brown on brown like that, but she is THE fashion critic) then she put a pair of pants on top of the shorts. so we had several conversations about wearing shorts b/c it's hot & how they're like a skirt, but not...it finally took when i put on a pair of shorts for her to consistently wear a pair of shorts without a pair of pants on top. (& i rarely wear shorts but it was so hot putting the asparagus in! melting...).

& this, lol, is how i get laundry done anymore. carrying amelia in the basket up & down two flights of stairs, plus a load of laundry. she always looks so confused when this happens but is content to sort through the pile & find a deserving piece of clothing to suck on.

yes, this is just a picture of a sauce pan with some olive oil. BUT, the important thing about this: i didn't do it, wes didn't do it. adeline did it! i heard her rummaging around the kitchen on friday & i told her to 'stop doing whatever it is that you're doing' & she did stop. so i didn't think anything of it until i walked into the kitchen awhile later & saw this pan (totally moved from the dish strainer) filled with olive oil that was sitting far back on the counter. now, this pan is HEAVY! i am still trying to figure out exactly what it is she was planning on cooking... and what if i hadn't told her to stop, would she have turned the gas burner on? a chef in the making?!

we spent a good part of friday at a nearby park & this is a pic of adeline (right) on the highest slide. she has no fear, that kid. she leans over the openings & grabs whatever is there & tries to swing on it while my heart jumps out of my mouth as i imagine her falling from 15 feet up.

amelia also loved the park...she giggles & giggles in the baby swings. & she didn't fall asleep on the way there or back. why is that significant? well, b/c i walked the mile plus to & from. holy crap, readers, this i will not do again anytime soon with a double stroller packed with lunch goodies & a change of clothes times 3 for a peeing toddler. you know, i work out, i'm a fairly healthy & able woman but this was a serious challenge b/c one way is a slight decline & then coming back is a not so slight incline. & i'm hoofin' it up a major road in the sun all the while imagining melanoma being created on my skin b/c i forgot to put sunscreen on my arms (but the girls were SLICkED UP with sunscreen, i tell you, shiny!!!). anyway, it was exhausting & i felt like i was half asleep the rest of the day.
& this is where i found adeline right before i had to pull her away from the playgrounds. she somehow had a bloody lip & had blood smeared & dried on her face. lovely! i asked if she fell & hurt her lip & she nodded & gave a sad face & then pointed to the slide & laughed. apparently it wasn't bad enough to stop playing.

what else?

well, adeline ate approximately 2 pine nuts the other night & had her most allergic reaction thus far. so now we know she is allergic to pine nuts, walnuts, & pecans. her face became very read, itchy & covered in welts. her lips even had these huge blister-like sores on them. we did call the ped but that was after we gave her a dose of benedryl, so we waited for the beny to kick in & then the reaction subsided. but, it was still very unnerving!

oh my, i must go now & lay on the couch & not move for over an hour at least...

ASPARAGUS

i am not a veggie eating person, not so much. actually, i'm not really into red meat & i hate fish & we eat chicken only a few times a week. i guess this makes me a carbo-holic? i like apples, also. & peaches. ANY-WAY! ((how did i get on the tangent? (btw: i recently made a little pact to myself to not delete large sections of posts that i write...i would have deleted something like that ramble prior to this personal pact, but i just want to see how it goes first...sorry blog stalkers, as judy crawford calls blog readers). ))anyway, i don't like most vegetables--BLECH!-- except asparagus (& several others, but i will let my ramblings stop now). so i want to grow it b/c it's so darn expensive most of the time.

i have been trying to buy asparagus roots for 3 YEARS! seriously. i am always too late when we get to the garden nursery...i frantically search around for the roots, plants, then seeds. then i ask 'where are your asparagus?' & they say "we just sold out yesterday" & then i cry. so this year i took matters into my own hands & didn't rely on a garden nursery to supply my needs. i ordered 25 roots from burpee (25 was the lowest amount...yes, if they take we are going to have gobs of asparagus! yum yum yum).

today they arrived! oh joyous! what? is it christmas again already? that's what it feels like, anyway. i was in the backyard playing with ms amelia who was refusing to take a nap (*frown*) & heard the ups truck stop in front of our house...i ran to the front--yes, leaving amelia on a blanket in the backyard where she is vulnerable to all the elements (read: griswold turds) & raced to pick up the box. beautiful! we plan on planting them saturday morning. my mom & dad also bought a bunch of asp. roots, so i think we have begun an unspoken competition. HA HA HA...i have the engineer nut on my side!

in more disgusting news: wes just discovered that he is GROWING GRASS IN HIS CAR. to explain...he drives my car from high school, a '95 geo prizm manual. it's pushing 200K!! anyway, this car has been through many many frightful things which i won't divulge right now. but apparently it has a window or roof leak lately which totally makes it reek in the car (poor millie had to ride in it last week). the window MUST be down when riding in this stink-bomb, lest you inhale toxic fumes. so awhile ago wes brought grass seed for the lawn & it spilled a bit on the passenger side floor....the rest is history! i can verify that yes, indeed, there are grass sprouts about 2 inches high growing from the car floor. seriously! we like the idea of being 'green' but...i think he is taking this too far, lol!

our family & pizza

our 4 person family is in love with pizza, not unlike a lot of families from the u.s.a. & as you may know, amelia is really super duper into table food now. we have gobs of baby food left over so we're still trying to cram it down her mouth...but i think we're going to just end up giving it away to a food pantry soon (we haven't been motivated enough to make our food baby food with amelia. we did with adeline. shhh, don't tell amelia & i won't either! ;o) anyway, amelia had her first bite of pizza today at costco. her eyes lit up & she gummed the miniscule piece to shreds & opened her mouth wide for more. adorable.

& even though adeline threw big fits yesterday & today about only wearing underwear at home (she used to be able to choose if she wanted a diaper, pull up, or undies) she refused to wear a pull up to costco today. she was all up in arms when i brought one out for her to change into before leaving. so i took a deep breath & said to myself 'first trip out wearing undies! we can do this!' when we got into the store, i took her to pee first thing & she went! yea, big celebration. then we ate lunch & while she was with wes picking up some developed pictures she apparently had to GO & pulled her pants & undies down to her ankles in the middle of the electronics section & said 'GO!' crossing her legs. i was across the store going through the list for poultry & cheese (they also have GREAT prices on cheese, nearly better than trader joe's!) & there's wes flagging me down, 'addy has to go pee!' & there's adeline walking behind him trying to pull her pants back down. hilarious! so i run to the bathrooms with adeline bobbing on my hip & she is laughing uncontrollably b/c we're running so fast & i just keep saying 'don't pee! don't pee! hold it in!' & i'm thinking...she's on my hip, has to pee, & is laughing. i have a change of clothes for her, but, uh not for me!' then we get to the women's room & they're all FULL! doi!!! thankfully a lady just hopped out of one, saw the panic on my face & was like 'oh my, this one's open!' i plop her on the potty & away she pees. beautiful.

"ome"

since discovering that adeline has a mild hearing loss i have started to talk more in front of her & enunciated words harder & a tad bit louder, hoping that this will help her enunciate as well. she has learned a few more words since then, my favorite being this morning when leaving the gym. i asked her 'where are we going?' she replied 'bye bye' & i said 'yes, but where are we going TO?' & she then said 'ome'. i guess it's through this trial & error that we will learn what soft sounds she isn't hearing, such as the soft 'h'. i know a lot of kids have difficulty pronouncing words correctly at first...but this is across the board for her. anyway, it made me smile.

another thing that made me smile...as i was explaining to the gym day care that she has hearing loss & asking them to put that in her file & also explaining to them that they may need to speak louder & talk more in front of her, etc (things we are just assuming, as we haven't gotten a call back from the ped yet telling us what to do next). anyway, the mother standing next to me who had just checked her 3 kids turned to me & told me that she is deaf in her left ear & said that when her parents found out about this they were shocked & didn't know what to do, etc, then she laughed & said 'i'm fine & she'll be fine & you'll learn how to live with it.' it's good to hear stories like this... like hillary saying her sister's son had recently gone through a similar situation & he is now learning new words & talking after an ear-tube surgery...things like that. so, thanks for sharing everyone!

what is superbly interesting to me since monday is that adeline has been very snuggly...& adeline is usually not the snuggly type. she has never been, really. she would snuggle up to nurse & that's about it. once finished eating, she would push away. okay, maybe she gets a wee bit snuggly when sick, but really, this kid is a very independent, strong willed do-it-myself kind of girl. but since monday, she has been wanting to lay with me anywhere, on the couch, in her bed, on the rocking chairs...she wants to be close. she even did this with my mom (who was one of the only people she would snuggle with before this) but even more so now. i'm guessing she knows something is going on. poor kid, how to explain this.

anyway, enough of that schtuff.

it's supposed to be warm, wait--nearly hot! this weekend! woah, in the 70's! unseasonably warm is how the forecast read. yea. but then again, today was supposed to be rain & there is lots of sun out, through the big puffy clouds. i guess i'm one of those odd ducks who actually enjoys the rainy days. (yes, days, not just the one day of rain.) oh, about day 5 is when i start growing tired of the rain & no sun.

when we lived in boise during one of the long sunny summers i was sun-weary after just a few weeks of sun. really, one summer it was sunny every.single.day. enough already! as you know, i'm from ohio...& it rains in ohio nearly as much as seattle i've read. there's just something nourishing to me when it rains...the soil being fed nutrients, the air smells a bit clearer, plants grow without needing water from the hose (think: dollar signs), & winter dry skin is resolved.

anyway, when we lived in boise & there was eternal sunshine i was annoyed. when does it rain here?! (the answer: a few days a summer in a drought). so there was a forecast of rain coming...& from our house, since we lived in a new subdivision that used to be farm land & on one side of the farm land expanse was the snake river desert area (i don't know all the official terms, sorry idahoans! maybe becky can help me out? i know she's a boise lifer). anyway, if you looked one way you could see forever in a desert-ish sense. so on the weather map it said the rain was coming & we went outside to see if this was true. & it was! it was like a huge line of clouds moving in on us & we could see the rain falling miles & miles away & then the dust picked up & swirled & then the rain came down SIDEWAYS. & it sorta flooded everywhere for an hour or two. so i guess when it rains, it pours. but most of our neighbors were out on their porches, just watching in awe as it rained. something we take for granted here in ohio: rain.

i think 30 minutes later it was clear & sunny again in boise. i do miss boise, even with its lack of rainy weeks. (they have inversions, though, which i didn't like b/c it increased smog & yuck, did it smell!). check this out if you need explaining (the high desert version)
http://www.csun.edu/~hmc60533/CSUN_103/weather_exercises/soundings/smog_and_inversions/Inversions.htm

today is...

...adeline without pull-ups day. i am making a transition from pull-ups throughout the day & diapers during naps & bedtime to underwear only during the day (at home) & pull-ups during naps & diapers at bedtime. she has always had the option to wear underwear during the day & her naps. sometimes she chooses to wear undies, other times a pull up & even worse, a diaper. so now, diapers are only for bedtime...pull ups are for naps & when we go out (for now, soon pull ups will only be nap times) & undies when awake.

i am ready, she is ready. it's time! she has only gone poop in the potty once, when i wasn't home (for all long time blog readers, you may remember that as the night i fled out of here like a bat out of hell & went to the library & adeline thanks me for abandonment by pooping in the potty for daddy). so the pooping will be much more difficult to accomplish..but...it's time!

already this morning she has thrown one great tantrum about saying bye bye to pull ups & hello to undies. this tantrum lasted only 20 minutes though & entailed her following me around screaming & crying & yelling out for 'DAAAADDDDDYYYYYYY' to which i responded 'daddy wants you to go pee & poop on the potty aslo'. then we sat on the potty & didn't go. 2 minutes later, as i started typing this post, she proudly brought in a kid potty bowl with pee in it. she was so proud, so so so proud.

another thing that has been plaguing me: reading adeline's milestone email that i get from babycenter.com. nearly every single one is about what the preschoolers are saying to us & questions they are asking. you know, it revolves around talking. every time i would open it & start reading, tears would well up...& this was before we knew of the hearing loss. & now i feel even more sad about it. it's just hard to find out this problem has been going on & we haven't realized it. i used to get a bit mad about these emails b/c it focuses so much on what the normal & early ranges of talking are & don't say anything about kids who talk late...i don't know, this has just hit wes & i hard.

on a good note: this is the shirt adeline squeezed herself into:

it was from my cousin & is sadly now too small for her & was sitting on top of the pile of too small clothes that i have yet to take into the basement & put into their respective size bins (for amelia to wear in a year or two). it says "does this diaper make my butt look big?" & is very appropriate for her good bye to diapers & pull ups during the day. adeline has mastered irony already; her grammar & vocab loving-aunt kristi would be proud. & me too, of course.

the aftermath

so the day of the doctors is over! yea. we have come away with a renewed sense of belief that the medical world is a good thing, but it can also be a, oh...annoying, frustrating racket.

so addy has a minor sore throat, but it doesn't explain her high fever. go figure. so we're left to just use motrin & tylenol to lower her fever while her body fights off the mysterious fever inducer. that finishes doc visit #1.

doc visit #2 was addy's hearing test. i finally made my way through the myriad of medical building & car dealerships in dublin to find the elusive 'children's hospital close to home'. when getting the auditory hearing test (it has a more official name that i can't remember) she kept pulling out the ear buds (which also had a more official name) so the auditory technician/nurse/official just did the test through speakers with me holding adeline on my lap...so i could hear & see everything that addy was hearing or seeing. but come to find out, adeline can't hear everything i hear! yup, she didn't pass her hearing test...i was floored, flabbergasted, amazed, shocked, etc. this was the appointment of the day that i was least worried about & wanted to cancel & here it is, the most important discovery of all.

as mentioned earlier, i was in a state of shock so i failed to ask any questions, but the gist is that she can't hear low decibel sounds. when i was holding her i would hear a noise off to the side & was waiting for her to turn her head to see the puppet & lights pop out of the box like she did with the louder noises...but she didn't. i really just wanted to cry when told this could very well be the cause of her slow language development. we let our pediatrician talk us out of being concerned about it for the past year & now she's already a year behind in language, ya know. really, she says about 10 words consistently. *SIGH* i am struggling not to feel some intense guilt about not pushing the issue...but now. NOW i am ready to push the issue. i don't want her to sit out a year of school b/c of this, right?

so i called the ped & asked for a return call b/c apparently an ear infection could also trigger minor hearing loss for a few days. the "officiant" thought it would be a good idea to re-test adeline in 1 month & also to have her ears checked for fluid that morning by our pediatrician. so...her being sick with a fever helps us know that she did not, in fact, have any fluid in her ears this morning b/c she was thouroughly checked out by the ped just a few hours before.

anyway, that was just a heartbreaker of a visit. & since i was so shocked & didn't ask any questions...i don't really have a lot of info which is totally frustrating wes & i. DOI!

next is the mri. wow, is that loud! it wasn't very exciting or frightening, well, except for the iv needle to put in the contrast liquid & waiting for 1 hour to have the mri was a bit frustrating. why do they tell you to come early to fill out paperwork & then they make you wait however long? craziness, i tell you.

at last, was my appointment with the optical neurologist, dr katz. we were 1 hour 15 minutes late & they didn't seem to care one bit b/c they were running nearly 4 hours behind! seriously, they had people waitin for 4 hours...i just can't believe they waited, ya know?! i'd think, 'ah to hell with this appointment!' anyway, katz walked in & totally forgot that i just had the mri & didn't really know why i was there & then when i told him i just had the mri, he had to go find the images & then came back to tell me that not all the images were available & he will call me in the a.m. after he examines them. (but the ones he did see: they look 'NORMAL'!!! excellent.)

& then we made a dash to chipotle & now the girls are in bed. addy still has a fever. amelia is giddy over her gram mum being with her all day (& did i mention that amelia went with wes to work this morning for about half an hour while i took addy to the ped. well, that happened & apparently she was loved on by his coworkers. we just didn't want to take millie to a sick baby hour at the ped's...we have enough of our illnesses around here). so that is our day. the day of the doctors is over.

what is crazy is that with our really wonderful health insurance (seriously, wes has GREAT health insurance through his employer, weyerhauser) we have still paid out of pocked somewhere around $1,000 in just 4 months this year. not including today, either! oi vay, there goes my new dryer & retractable clothesline for the yard.

here's a funny story i remembered today: adeline was outside playing, the windows were open (this was one of our nice days, you know, one of the 4 in the past 10) & i had the dryer going. addy races inside & throws her arms in the air & starts making a siren noise & points to our floor. translation: our dryer squeaks so loudly that adeline was outside, heard the noise from the dryer in the basement...& thought it was a fire truck siren. i guess there's a great 'you know you're a hillbilly when' joke in there somewhere. (like: you know you're a hillbilly when your kid mistakes your ancient dryer for a fire siren).

one last thing: amelia is so close to crawling! i just want to help her by movign her legs a bit more, but i know that will not help. i guess i'm excited to not have to carry her everywhere? so i'm okay with her moving on her own already. she looks so cute on all 4's, rocking back & forth & trying to move forward, but crawling backwards. today she even did a sideways shuffle. & she is becoming more proud of herself as adeline is now noticing that amelia is nearly moving & shouts & claps for her.

these girls are a hoot.

a day for doctors

that day is tomorrow; the day of the doctors. here is what tomorrow is shaping up to be:

8:00 -- adeline's sick visit (at her usual ped) if she still has a fever in the morning
10:45 -- adeline's hearing test in dublin
2:30 -- my mri at osu hospital
3:45 -- my mri follow up with dr katz on osu campus medical building

thankfully, my mom will be here to take care of whoever is home. i think i am a bit nervous about the mri b/c what if they do find something wrong & here i am expecting everything to be okay & normal? or what if addy's hearing test results are not good?

yes, i am trying very hard lately to stop being so darn pessimistic!

& we have a sick sick toddler right now who is refusing a nap but is exhausted & a recently healthy baby who just wants to play & is starting to crawl backwards consistently (crawling backwards really upsets her, btw...she gets so mad that she is going further away from the desire object instead of closer. she is so close to crawling!). & i still can NOT find curtains to match or even semi coordinate with our new bed spread. oh, the important things in life, eh?! but, hey, i've been waiting a long 6 years to have a bedroom that looks halfway decent (you know, the paint isn't chipping or something in the room actually goes with other stuff). creating harmony, that's what we're after. but searching for specific bed room items does not create harmony in my mind. at least so far it's pretty much pissed me off. lol.


life with kids...
it seems wes & i are both hit right now with dripping exhaustion. this winter has been draining... it seems once one person is recovering from an illness, the next person gets it (or something new, or something recurring, or...). most of our extra energy & focus has been directed towards our kids, which is sorta how parenting is, right? but there is that 'marriage' part of the equation that gets put on the back burner. we miss the time to just throw stories back & forth & laugh at/with each other & finding things to argue about that isn't the fault of the other person (like politics, or which flooring we are dreaming of putting in). this past winter just floated by for us...we were surviving, eeking by with week immune systems & tired eyes & bodies & sort of just grunting hellos & goodbyes. & it has been discovered tonight, after an evening of discussing why we feel distant from each other, that we miss each other; we miss our close friendship & our god blessed healthy marriage. not to say that god isn't continuing to bless us...but if we hardly have time to talk to a human, it's fair to say we hardly find the time to talk to god, either.

so we obviously!!! need to get out more, have time away from the house without the girls in tow. this seems insurmountable, though! many hurdles...find a babysitter we trust, set aside enough money to truly be able to afford to go out, find something to do (in columbus, that seems to be difficult...it was easy in boise: take a hike!). & there are so many other barriers.

any ideas? help...

so yes, it has been decided tonight that we NEED to find a reliable babysitter. we've received several names from friends & neighbors but when we call, either the babysitter doesn't call back or they call back a week later...which leads me to believe they are overbooked or just don't care (either one made me give them the axe before we even hired them!). plus, hiring a sitter for 1 kid is easy; hiring 1 sitter for 2 kids is not. ya know, wes & i can barely get the job done by ourselves sometimes! (there is that fact of teenagers having more energy, however) so we also have to figure in competence to care for two kids & get them to bed. & do you know how much a sitter costs, anyway!?! my cousin who is a sitter says $10 an hour...that leaves mcdonald's as the dinner out of choice for wes & i, ya know!

then there's also the end of the day. watch tv or hang out? communicate or veg on the couch? it's very easy to just tune out & watch a show. really, i don't think there's anything wrong with that but now that we see it's getting in the way of us even talking... what's funny is that we watch 41 minutes of tv at night, when we do decide to watch tv. so it's not as if we're downing hours of tv. just 1 show, then we're off to bed b/c we ARE that tired (oh, around 9:30 it's bedtime for us).

egads, parenting is hard. marriage is hard...put the two together & you get something very hard. i guess i'm just putting this out there, hoping to get a great insightful response from a couple who has it all together. lol, please, let that happen! or better yet, a fairy god mother will just plunk down on the keyboard & say 'here are some elves to watch your kids while you go have a nice time out of the house'...i guess if the elves never showed up to clean our house, they certainly won't show up to babysit.

the amelia photo shoot

these were taken last monday by photographer extraordinare, judy crawford...yep, when amelia had her intense double ear infection. & yet she still smiled!

not so funny

oatmeal situation just went from annoyingly humorous to pissy mama due to the large amount of wet oatmeal in the sink, toilet, bathroom floor, & also the living room floor & on the couch. dear daughter adeline could have time out for the rest of her life. & apparently this all happened while i was in the shower so most of the oatmeal that was once wet is now dry & caked on the couch....did i mention under a blanket? so little miss adeline knows she was naughty & covered it up. DOI. how to kids know to destroy things? AND why? i'm beginning to wonder if she thinks i look funny when angry & trying not to boil over in the anger/yelling mode, so she will do things to invoke this funny trying not to be angry look. who knows. all i know is that this mama is not finding it funny anymore & adeline is doomed to time out...until...her 18th birthday.

oatmeal all over the place

a kitchen floor covered in dry oatmeal. that's what i came downstairs to find just now, after my shower (while amelia is napping). i ask adeline where she found this dry oatmeal. she answers: daddy. wes has some explaining to do... until then, adeline is now equipped with her mini broom & a dustpan & is instructed to sweep up the oats & put it in the sink (with the garbage disposal). since i am in a different room typing, i can't decide if this method of 'clean up your mess that you made' is working or not.
***okay, NOT WORKING. i hear the bathroom water being turned on & off. *sigh* ***

amelia is so sick, poor wee one! this double ear infection has really jacked her system up this time. she sounds like she has emphysema or something of the sort & is feverish & tired & cranky & not sleeping well. we're waiting for the antibiotics to decrease her infection, but it seems to be taking a bit longer than usual.

if we were living, oh about 100 - 150 years ago, i am starting to believe my family (wes excluded b/c he is somehow not sick constantly) would be capoot, dead, dust in the wind...whatever you would call it, we'd be passed on. why oh why do we keep getting all these illnesses & infections?! ah well. summer will be here soon. i keep telling myself that summertime will bring a stronger immune system & less bacteria & viruses floating around. that may be true or not, but at least the sun & warm weather will lift spirits & allow us to be somewhere besides the confines of this house.

speaking of houses...why is it when a house is foreclosed on that the bank/mortgage or whomever it is that shuts the house up...why is it that they put all the belongings on the curb? a house down the street apparently foreclosed & suddenly there was an enormous amount of household stuff, toys, & furniture on the curb. why can't they open the house up for others to go through & take what they need & maybe even pay a small bit of money to buy something. wouldn't that help offset the cost for the bank as well? it just seems such a waste to let all that functional stuff sit in the rain & then fill up the landfills. wes walked home with a metal sawhorse the other day from this specific pile of 'junk'. see? not so much of junk after all.

& finally, i have to confess that i have been coveting my in-laws location right since last friday. they are on a cruise with my brother & sister in law, a cruise the 4 of us could be on as well. we were invited along & they even offered to pay half of our costs! i mean, HELLO kindness & offering & wonderful cruise amenities. but...the reality of taking a 2 1/2 year old & a baby on a cruise sunk in & we knew we just couldn't do it without giving ourselves daily migraines. so they (sue & bruce, cliff & bri) have been basking in the wonderful caribbean sun since last saturday, eating wonderful desserts & entrees, maybe getting a massage or two, reading a book or two...i am over the top jealous.

we keep telling ourselves: next year, next year. but even that doesn't seem plausible. take a 1 & 3 year old along? hhmm, not likely. & my dad's spring break never lines up with my mother-in-law's spring break (they are both teachers) so it's not possible for my parents to watch the girls while wes & i go off on a wonderful week long cruise (plus i'm a little ambivalent about leaving them for a week anyway). so now i think we should lower our standards & start the mantra: 5 years, 5 years. in 5 years maybe we can take this wonderful cruise! yes, i think that sounds much more believable. a 5 & 7 year old would do much better on an exciting cruise. until then? i still have my dreams, i guess.

speaking of dreams, i had a dream about wes' grandma gerbick the other night & it was hilarious! but i can't remember most of it. she was telling jokes & taking her teeth in & out & then imitating people & then she wanted to babysit adeline all the while jumping on a trampoline. to understand, this lady is in her early 90's & keeps telling everyone that she's going to die soon...but she is very healthy, actually & is normally an upbeat, kind woman. anyway, i woke up laughing about this during one of amelia's wake up screaming fits the other night (yes, poor girl).

it's neck & neck...

...with the brandt's on trips to the doctor & urgent care. just when you think you guys are pulling ahead, we come spring from behind. lol. (to explain: we have a little joke of a contest going on to see who's kid will be at the doctor the most, one of ours or their wee one, emily. it's a sad state of affairs when parents turn their kid's illnesses into a contest. but parents who are visiting pediatricians more than their friends' houses would understand).

what's not so humorous is that amelia is very sick with another double ear infection! she's been battling a low fever since friday. we sorta thought it was another tooth coming in & have been just letting her body deal with it & she has been doing pretty good & staying happy. then last night her fever went up to 101 so we administered motrin over night & throughout today & tonight even with motrin she spiked to 103.7. we called the ped b/c it was after hours & were sent to the urgent care. & b/c i'm still in the throes of an IBS flair up, wes went with her to the urgent care while i stayed with adeline & ate chicken noodle soup (again) for dinner.

***for all mamas out there: i highly recommend, even if you're sick, to go with your baby to the doctor b/c you WILL sit & agonize over her being sick & at a doctor's office without her mama to hold her. i know wes is completely capable of being loving & snuggly & caring & she has the best daddy in the world according to me...but still, i felt immense mama guilt tonight as i was here at home with adeline.

but all is well & amelia & adeline are sleeping soundly now. wes even got the mistake of giving the urgent care his name as the patient instead of amelia's cleared up. wha-at? according to the children's hospital urgent care, wesley gerbick is a female girl born on 8/26/08 & weighs 19 pounds. hilarious! thankfully the pharmacy caught it before the urgent care sent it to their billing department & insurance (nightmare). still laughing about this one, my dear hubby.

anyway, i was just thinking the other day that i was able to deal with adeline's tantrums a bit better. then today happened. ugh...i was trying to get everyone out the door to have pictures taken by judy at her studio in her home. but millie wouldn't sleep & i kept trying to put her down & this went on for a bit over an hour. when i wasn't with amelia (which i was only with amelia for about 10 minutes out of 70) i was playing with addy & then when i was with amelia, i put a dora episode on for addy. the last time i turned one on that addy didn't want to watch...& she threw a big hissy fit. my goodness, i was not in the mood today. it was just a frustrating morning, but the pictures are done & even with millie posing with double ear infections i think judy was able to get some good shots. & yea, i did put my baby through a photo shoot when she was sick. yup, terrible mama here, lol.

overboard?

yea, lots of pictures today! i'm usually not the type of parent who will dress their kids up for holidays or church...ya know, i find them clean & cute clothes, but i usually don't go all out. but not this year for easter. why? i don't know. it just struck me as i was looking around a store for an easter outfit for amelia. i thought: do it, heidi, get the hats & everything. (hey, it was all on clearance!) so i did. & my oh my, they are cute as...well, as cute as they just are.

(well, they had really cute, all SHA-BANG outfits for thanksgiving/christmas b/c my mother in law caught the dress-up-bug at that time...everyone will get it, i promise you).

so we went to church somehow by 8:45 & adeline screeched &writhed but we still left her in the classroom & apparently she did pretty good. i have no clue why she's starting the separation anxiety so late...but separation anxiety she has. i think the classroom teachers' ears can attest to that fact.

anyway. enjoy the pics of our day so far. i do have a video of adeline finding her easter basket...but that would require much more effort than i have brain cells for right now.

& i just have to say that easter seems to be such an overlooked holiday. if you are a christian...well, this holiday is sort of IT. jesus was resurrected! come on, it's the whole crux of the religion & faith. i literally just felt excited when i woke up this morning; HE is risen. it's amazing, life changing, hope fulfilling. looking back, i think i am more content & excited about easter than even christmas. seriously, typing that seems odd, but i think it is true, folks.

& vineyard columbus just goes all out for easter. all out. purple hyacinths & white lilies lining the stage & a color coordinated choir banging out some revamped & near hip hop hymns & new 'oldie but goody' worship songs. even the pastor, rich nathan, said "that was smokin' hot".

sad to say, but we didn't color eggs this year. mix a toddler/preschooler & baby with dye that will never come out of anything (like carpet). i don't think so. we were going to color them outside, but the weather was totally not outside egg-colorable. i'm sorry, adeline & amelia...will you ever forgive your mama?

the end of the saturday work day

the NEW flower/lettuces garden! yea. i planted wild flower seeds today. we put this bed in b/c grass will simply not grow here for some reason (it's not the soil, we tested it). notice the muddy ground all around the bed...

this was wes' crowing achievement today. a 3 tiered veggie garden on the side of our house. this will be home to the vine plants such as squash, melons, cucumbers, peas (on a lattice thing). & we just eeked in to fit the subdivision requirements of not growing vegetables in your front yard, past the front of your house walls. seriously! & apparently someone complained about our neighbors who were growing corn in the front flower bed. gah, get a life. (how mature does that sound?)

my tulips. i just really like white tulips. yea, they have some yellow tinge; we have learned that is b/c our soil is a bit 'basic' or acidic, i forget which causes the yellowing of white blooms. which is why i can't fix the problem-o b/c i forgot the equation basically. i'm so tired!

this picture has nothing to do with our day. in fact, it was taken yesterday i believe. it was to prove to adeline that her mama is so cool, that during her nap times, i do fun things like play with legos. i also had a strong desire to count the legos & then at the end they fell over before i could count them. darn it! but here is our mega lego-duplo collection. i have to say, they are a lot of fun...even amelia enjoys throwing or eating a lego or two most days.

so here is the hop hut with the small river rock covering. wes is digging a mini ditch between the yard & garden/hut, so we didn't fill in all the rock yet. WOW, is that back breaking. and the big 'ole pole sticking our of the ground? well, that's to put a mosaic table on it that we made years ago with the crawfords. we just don't have random poles sticking out of the ground for no reason, eh?

looking from the hop hut towards the garden. first is the strawberry patch, then the 'main' garden which will house tomatoes, peppers, onions, carrots & some other minor things that i can't remember right now. we put in the wood today. okay, WES put them in. isn't he just wonderful & handy to have around?!

this bummed wes & i, all these bags! why couldn't they deliver all the stuff in piles & leave the plastic bags out of the deal? as wes called it: an environmental disaster. in order to cultivate a garden to feed our family, we have to create waste that will last how long? centuries? hhmm... this was just half of the bags, btw.

yard work

today is THE DAY. we are beginning to unload the massive amounts of soil, rock, humus/poo, & mulch. (well, the mulch will be a bit later.) already today we have moved 18 50-pound bags of small river rock under the hop hut & then another 5 around the grapes/berries... & then we moved a dozen or so bags of soil & 4 bags of poo. wes has built one new raised bed & is now planting two more hop mounds under his beloved hop hut. & it's not even noon yet! gee, think what we could get done if we weren't pushing addy in the swing half the time, lol.

btw: his hops from last year are going crazy already & two sets are nearly a foot tall! can you say B-E-E-R. lol.

we have two more raised beds to build & then more soil for those beds...& then plant some spring veggies & lettuces. then fill in another bed for asparagus with soil & compost & then wait until my asparagus roots get here in a few weeks. i'm a bit nervous about the asparagus b/c it's a lot of work the first year (buying roots already established takes a year of waiting away). for those who don't know, it takes 3 years from seed to the plate & in between then will be months of trimming the wee asparagus plants. so i ordered roots ... if all goes well, we may have some edible asparagus next spring! i think.

did i mention that the soil is nothing but MUD (as is most of our back yard)? we all have two sets of clothing today: outdoor & indoor; just strip down as you enter the house. oh yea, & dog crap piles somehow look very similar to mud clumps today...so we have that all over our shoes as well.

we will post some pics at the end of the day. & i see the first lily of the valley bloom peeping through.

all of this will help with our goal to lower our grocery bill this summer in addition to cutting our electricity use by 40% using less a/c & a clothesline instead of the dryer. there's this awesome retractable clothesline out there. i want it! but it's a bit over $200! egads. does less dryer use allow for an expensive clothes line? & using less a/c shouldn't be very difficult as last summer i was in my 3rd trimester & would start sweating & overheating in 72 degree heat. i insisted our house was nearly as cold as a fridge...normally i don't really like a/c because i'm cold constantly, even in the summer. so we shall see if we meet our goals:

1. cutting electricity use by 40% for the summer months (compared to last summer).
2. lowering grocery bill & eating more food out of the garden & having more variety to choose from (we are planting peas & beans this year & our strawberries should be edible this year).
3. have the ability to move tomorrow after hauling all this rock & soil & boards around...i think this may be the most difficult of all!

did i mention every time we made a trip to get more bags you have to add 30 pounds to account for adeline sitting in the wagon. yea, it's heavy. but i only tipped her once so far!

my parent's anniversary

i'm attempting to start a new gerbick blog tradition of writing about the people or person on a special day. hhmm, did i explain that very well? no! basically, if it's someone's birthday or anniversary i will write a little ditty about them. & today is my parent's anniversary! this is number 31, but they have been together since they were maybe in 8th grade, so i think it's more like 35 or 36 years?

my parents have been through a lot together. family dramas, one life changing car accident, sending one parent through college with 3 teenagers (well, i guess my brother was a 'tween' at the time), a house fire, suicidal pet goats, sending your army soldier son to a war zone for 18 months while your 2 daughters are in college...i can go on & on, but i won't. it's just life's hurdles??

so increasing the love quotient must happen when you are able to stick it out together... i guess that's what happens when you're with someone for 35 years or so. it seems they are now even more happy & in love than they were 10 or 15 years ago, which is pretty amazing.

one of these major anniversaries we (my brother & sister & i) are going to throw then a gi-normous party, but until then i hope they know that i love them both & celebrate their marriage with them. when i see them laughing & smiling at each other now it makes me happy as well. they are a true example of sticking with each other through good & bad, sickness & health, rich times & poor times...

together they have created 3 healthy kids who married wonderful people & now have 4 grandkids (2 grand dogs & 2 grand cats as well) & very very VERY beautiful flower gardens & have amazing organic garden. what else have they collected together? well, go in their basement & you will find enough furniture & dishes to fill up another household (wait, i think that's my mom's habit, not my dad's...hhmm, nevermind).

anyway, here's to my parents...may they have 31 more years together. *clink*

& may they learn to tell each other what they talked about with other people. i didn't say they were perfect, did i? (lol, my sister & i were talking just the other day about this habit they have: they will talk to one of us about making plans & then fail to tell the other spouse about it, leaving the other spouse to have no clue what is going on until that day & then there's a mini argument & everyone else is left questioning their sanity or at least communication skills. lol, gotta love my parents.)

daddy lovin'

i made it to the gym this morning (b/c my parents were here yesterday & then the appraiser was here b/c we are refinancing) & came home around 10 & got millie in bed & just as i was soaping my hair up in the shower, amelia starts screaming. apparently she was stuck in the crib rails...again! but, ah, what can i do with shampoo in my hair? so i finish the shower quickly & get some goop in my hair (or else i will look, uh...like einstein) & then eucerin lotion on lickity split (or else i will ITCH for the next week) & then get a bottle ready in .9 seconds & put another dora show on for adeline & then whisk millie out of her crib that has snot & cry spots all over it. she was at the exact opposite end of where i had put her down & was all rolled up in her blanket sobbing. poor little one. but a mama's got to take a shower after a work out.

feed millie, put her down for a second nap attempt & make my way downstairs & am welcomed with horrendous sobbing coming from adeline. apparently it was not the dora show she wanted (we have about 9 24-minute episodes on our tivo from dvd's). we went through all of the dora episodes & she couldn't find the one she wanted. so i turned the tv off b/c it was beyond frustrating...which only increased her sobbing tenfold. SIGH. i tell her it's time to calm down & i go off to dry my hair a bit.

10 minutes later, i come down to hear her sobbing & calling out for daddy, which she had been doing the entire 10 minutes i was gone. she cries for daddy for sometimes & that's okay with me. they have a pretty close relationship & i love it. i think i'm secure enough in our relationship (me & addy) that i am just honkey dory with her wanting others sometimes. like last night when my parents left from their spring break visit & adeline sobbed & reached out as they left & was just plain heartbroken (as were my parents). i think it's great that she is so close to her daddy & grandparents (okay, & her aunts, uncles, judy, & cousins...she is a very loving little girl, now that i think of all the people she cries for sometimes). so i let her call wes on the phone & she is so happy to hear him talk & he suggests that she watch 'miffy' & is happy for awhile (until right now she is again on the floor crying & calling out for daddy).

that is my morning so far.

oh & i failed to mention that i have had my eyes opened to the importance of wearing a bra. the gym is not only good for exercise, but also so catch a glimpse of 70-80 year old women completely naked (& younger women as well) in the locker room. not that i enjoy this AT ALL. i try to divert my eyes as much as possible but there's only so much of the floor i can watch as i find my locker amongst the naked women. i believe they are all getting dressed from the pool & apparently they feel comfortable enough to strip down in front of 20 or sometimes 30 other women in the locker room. so i've now seen the progression of boob saggyiness & feel the need to wear a bra even more now (b/c even small breasts will sag, i have now discovered). i'm not even talking about a minor sag, this is, you know the joke, to the knees sort of sagging. i wonder if this is the generation of hippies?? is this those early baby boomers turned bra burning hippies in the elderly years already? anyway. i think i will make my way to a good bra store to ensure full support very soon.

AND the trees lining our street now have blooms peeking out. so this week, if you want to see something very pretty indeed, drive around in annehurst subdivision in westerville & you will see streets lined with white blooms on trees. beautiful!

& that's all i have time for b/c adeline is now in the throes of a 25 minute tantrum that has progressed to spit spewing out of her mouth, throwing things, hitting things (which make her get hurt, etc) & then shouting loudly, i'm sure waking amelia up very very soon.

weekend away

amelia pulled off some 'firsts' while we were away at her grandma & grandpa gerbick's house this weekend.

1. sat in a tub unassisted
2. went underwater (oops! it's a funny story: every time we would squirt her with a water toy she would laugh so much that she would lose concentration on her sitting abilities & then crash into the water)
3. banged her head into the side of the tub (ouch; again, oops, which quickly ended the bath time due to loud & incessant screaming)
4. ate pinto beans like her life depended on it
5. ate shredded (mexican flavored) chicken like her life depended on it
6. watched part of a 'dora' video on a tv screen that makes dora bigger than amelia herself (maybe even bigger than adeline?)...that grandpa & his tv's!

well, that's all i can think of right now.

picture of amelia sitting in the playroom--errr--tub with her big sis.

millie & her great grandma beard. amelia had lots of smiles for her.

adeline throwing & catching some balls that great grandparents lute got for her for easter (in addition to the quacking ducks on the floor. they are a kid favorite so far today).

& DANG IT. what is this all over addy's face?! i have about had it up to *here* (my chin) with weird rashes that come & go on her. really, does anyone have any ideas? (allergies to food or pollen?). i know it's not eczema b/c i have that & adeline has it in other spots, so i know what that looks like. this is just something that comes & goes & this time it has been itchy enough that she scratched her face bloody a few times.

LOL, it probably doesn't help that i THOUGHT i was putting this prescription ointment for dry skin (from her ped) on her face & then wes tells me a few minutes later that it was this stuff for her diaper rash from about a year ago. sorry kid, didn't realize i was putting butt cream on your face! & we parents wonder why kids scream & flail around sometimes...

here's a closer look. oh my, she was so tired, this was right before bedtime after a long day...

this is our mulch, soil, fertilizer (manure!), & stone (for under the hop hut) load that was dropped off today. if you look very closely, you can see the snow that is flying today. thankfully, it's not sticking. i am very much not into snow & cold right now. but it's freakin cold outside today!

millie trying to ingest her first grass. (a-hem, easter grass, that is)

just a goofy picture of adeline

another wrestling match takes place

a picture of what an entire roll of toilet paper looks like in a toilet bowl at one time.
*sigh*

that's it for pictures.

wes & i were able to go out with his brother & sister in law on friday night...& had a great time! i even ordered a 'right russian' (meaning i had a large beer right before that & couldn't fully pronounce 'white russian' correctly...silly mama who hardly ever gets to have alcohol!). we had a fun weekend & adeline has now memorized every nook in her grandparent's house. she was running around like crazy there...i think her favorite spots would be the piano & then the life size tv & also the corner 'o' toys. maybe the kitchen, too.

as i mentioned earlier, amelia had a few firsts...we were eating out at a mexican restaurant, yum yum! adeline was throwing a fit & then calmed down nicely once i had a *DING* moment & ordered her some whipped cream to dip her quesadilla in. then it was quiet for about a minute & then millie started the crying & flailing about in her high chair routine (that she learned from her sister, i might add). she had just scarfed down baby food rice cereal & peas & had a bottle right before we left...she was reaching for my plate which had yumminy chicken flautas & pinto beans. so i put some out in front of her to see what would happen...totally expecting a gag reflex to take place. but nope! not our hungry bear. she ate pinto beans & shredded chicken (her first taste of chicken ever, or any type of baby-vegetarian lifestyle food) like mad for about 15 minutes. these were baby eating bites of course, but she was so ferocious about it, grabbing the food & then shoving it in her amazingly wide open mouth. hysterical! so we had the preschooler eating chicken quesadillas dipped in whipped cream & ketchup & then the almost too small for the high chair 7 month old scarfing down chicken & beans.

what i find so interesting about babies & kids: they are so different. obviously, but think about it...we know some folks in boise (shout out to the brandts & parsons!!) who have a -gasp- 10 month old (already so old!?) who is a champ sleeper... i was so envious of her sleeping abilities & couldn't help but tell amelia things like "emily in boise slept through the night at this age...why are you waking up every 4 hours still?" & then i tell adeline things like "well, you know that tiny audrey started peeing in the potty regularly even before she was 1 & you are double that age". (btw: i don't use a condescending tone of during these moments of comparison. more a matter of fact tone; which leads me to believe i am not sending my kids to therapy yet b/c of my parenting choices...). yet either the parsons or brandts just mentioned in a blog post how neither of their girls would eat or liked pinto beans over the weekend. so, we have the non sleeping, non potty trained kids who will eat nearly everything (with the correct condiment, of course). kids are so strange! so how is it possible for there to be standards & milestones & books on developmental peaks when kids are so obviously different?

as for today...we had nearly nothing in our fridge except condiments (ya know, jam/jelly, ketchup, mustards, etc) & i had planned to get groceries this morning...but i was awake nearly half of the night with IBS problems. & then this morning i was still sick & ready to puke & was dry heaving (it takes a lot for me to puke) b/c of IBS. so no trip to the grocery store...but that didn't slow addy down from eating 3 snack bowls full of cereal & then 3 doughnuts given to us by wes' mom & then 3 chocolate chip cookies, also given to us from wes' mom. i was feeling so bad laying on the couch, i didn't even care what she was finding to eat. at least she was eating & happy! adeline also got to watch a total of 3 1/2 hours of dora episodes today...this is not one of my stellar days as a mama, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do when the mama is sick. thankfully wes took a long lunch break & i took an hour nap & feel a bit better now.

nothing exceptional to say today, i guess. just life going on & on!