good bye

amelia learns something new every day. sometimes it's destructive (monday & tuesday morning) sometimes it's very cute & awing...thankfully that was this morning.

amelia was hanging onto her daddy's legs while he was looking up something on the computer. wes turned to her & i was sitting near them & said 'daddy has to go to work now, go bye bye'. amelia smiled up at him with a wonderful in love with daddy smile & SAID 'buh buh dada' & and *waved* to him! no prompting, she just did it. of course, wes had this look of i'm the best daddy in the world.

but i did just pull amelia's grubby hands out of the dirt pot again (no, we still haven't taken it out yet. but hey, it's too heavy for me). & another odd thing going on around here--suddenly my kids LIKE being in the pack n play. adeline climbed in there herself today (she had to move a chair over & then launched herself over the edge) & they are both now in there--SMILING & LAUGHING--watching dora. (except when amelia pulls addy's hair, that doesn't go over very well). just a few months ago, they both tipped over the pack n play b/c they were trying to get out so much. miracles do happen, folks.

one month

today marks the first month without harold. *sniff sniff* you're not missed.

this week has just zoomed by somehow & now it's friday & i'm glad. but everyone's in a testy mood for our own various reasons, making life a bit tense right now. but! adeline is 95% sure getting into the westerville school district special needs preschool. yippee! hello--she'll get speech therapy daily, plus any other therapies they see she may need. did i mention it's free? well, $15 a year for fees & whatnot but wow did that come as an answer to prayer (what a does a pay decrease + insurance coverage decrease + speech therapy costs + private preschool =?? too much for us to afford right now) so getting preschool & speech therapy all at once at public school is amazing & a godsend. PLUS she loved the teachers & the evaluators...it was the first time she had left with someone new that she didn't scream, cry, & throw herself into fits on the floor. wes & i were in a separate room & i kept waiting to hear her screeching from afar but it never came. when we met up with her an hour later, she was *happy* & laughing, playing with the speech therapist. & now she's excited for preschool...

we have her determination meeting monday morning. this is where all the evaluators/specialists meet up with us & the preschool coordinator to decide if she indeed qualifies for the preschool. if she does, then an IEP is written (oh joy. i've sat through enough of those iep meetings from my last job to know that fun is *not* coming). then she will start preschool either on her birthday or the following monday. (her birthday is sept 25). my baby is going to preschool?! FIRST #1.

FIRST #2: amelia walked. on her birthday. she just stood up in the middle of the floor, gave a huge smile & took 3 steps to adeline, then grabbed onto addy & fell to the floor. it happened in all of 10 seconds. but i caught it on my mama-memory-cam & there it will stay, hopefully forever. she hasn't walked since (well, i don't really know b/c i don't see her constantly & if the walking spells only last 10 seconds, well...there's a good chance we've missed it a few times).

***

what does one month post-op for a vestibular schwannoma surgery mean? well, my left ear has a moderate to low ringing, i can walk almost at a normal pace (sometimes, when i'm not very tired) but i'm tired a lot & a bit grouchy when the muscle pain is intense...which happens at least 2 or 3 times a day for various reasons. basically, i just need more time for things to heal. i had the 4 week post-op check up with dr welling & he said i was a great patient & doing amazing, that i looked nearly like a civilian (normal?). i dunno if they say that to everyone (care to input paige?), that they're great patients, etc. but for sure what they wanted to take care of before he appointment on thursday: payment. our balance of $1356.00 needed to have a payment made or paid in full. *gulp* it's just hard to see that chunk o change go, but we got it over all at once. i mean, the true amount of my surgery & hospital stay is still being worked out, but it's around the $150,000's now. yowzers. yes, i will pay $1356 instead of that previous amount.

i just have to get through this time. i keep telling myself to look forward to the holidays, when i will be feeling better (from what i've heard from other patients, the dr's, & also others who have had surgeries). it will be 5-6 months after & hopefully i will feel nearly 100%. even better, i will not have a brain tumor lurking in my skull, so i should feel even better than i used to. yea, i'm looking forward to that times 100.

***

it has been discovered that adeline has a severe allergy to walnuts (via a blood test). we also know she has a severe reaction to pine nuts & pecans. if you bring those into our home, you will be disqualified *smile* but really, we're trying to figure that all out. since she eats almonds, (also a tree nut) in the morning in her cereal & has eaten peanut & peanut products since 18 months without an issue, we are hoping to only find that she's allergic to those 3 tree nuts. but we have a few epi-pens for her, which freaks me out & benedryl always on hand.

then she recently had a round of urinary tract infection symptoms for quite a while & was taken to a dr & urgent care, etc & finally given medication for it on last week. she's doing better but now her ped wants to do an ultrasound on her kidneys & a catheter with dye contrast. to make sure she doesn't have this sort of reflux idea going on with her urethra & kidneys. wes & i nearly said a big N-O, especially since there's nothing to give her for the pain & discomfort of the catheter, plus the fact that addy won't let ANYONE near her vulva to begin with.... that appointment is on monday as well. maybe i'll tape the screaming & crying & send it off to be used for some slayer/slasher movie b/c that's how intense this will be. but the last time we almost blew off a dr's recommendation, my MRI, well, let's just say we're happy now that we went ahead with it...wish us luck! & wish us a better weekend w/ less grumpiness all around *smile*

pictures first

so i'm hoping that wes can finish this post b/c i'm really having too much muscle pain to sit & type today. BUT, i wanted to add some pictures from amelia's party...& i don't think they are in any order of events.

after eating yummilicious cake!

adeline helping her sister eat the cake

the hand dip into the cake

opening gifts! she did pretty good at tearing the paper, especially for a 1 year old.
a view of the hair cut. this is even on the former-harold side.

our little butterfly with a tutu. she is so so precious...

and Wes is too tired to do much more so enjoy the pictures and we'll write more later. Good Night!

GIRLS

here i am, keeping my promise to talk about my giirrrllzzzz. let me just say that the *sisterhood* has begun. amelia knows EXACTLY what to do with adeline to really piss her off...& adeline knows how to sorta do the look-n-push (you know, no adults looking, now i can push my little sister). then there are the other moments when amelia is starting to bother adeline, but instead of getting upset adeline decides to appease her sister & give her whatever toy it is amelia is after. THEN there are the times when they are giddy-happy with each other, like they have just found their best friend for life (which i hope they have; i have found my sister irreplaceable!). so the first picture is of wes roughhousing with the gals, which they *love*.

as you can see, amelia is being tossed upside down, as addy is clapping & waiting her turn on the couch. see, *this* is why we opted to buy the less expensive couch years ago. (you don't even want to know what bodily fluids & warm milk, etc that this couch has been wiped clean of). anyway, on this particular night, adeline was crawling behind amelia, chasing her...both girls squealing with laughter. soon enough they will be running after each other, eh?

wrestling in the princess tent. this is how it went: amelia tried to climb up the sides, knocking the tent over, adeline gets a pouty face for all of 1 second. adeline then pushes the tent back upright, knocking amelia to the ground & then she will roll or pull or do whatever it takes to get amelia sitting upright again as well. only a few boo-boo's were had.

SO...

this was playtime...dress up with gram mum (my mom was not dressed up, btw). how many hats can one girl wear? *smile* BUT the next morning, addy comes sprinting downstairs with *only* the superwoman dress & bumblebee headband on. we DO have a hard time keeping clothes on her...

so if you've been around addy at bed time, you know she is head over heels in love with her teddy bear, aka little bear.
this is a shot of her lovin' on little bear circa august, 2007.
BUT, according to adeline this past week, little bear smelled like 'pooPP'. she would give her a sniff & say pooPP with a look of disgust, but would then give little bear a hug, as if to say 'little bear, even though you smell like pooPP i still love you.' geez oh man, it's only taken us about 2 months to convince adeline that little bear was in dire need of a bath (laundered)...finally, little bear does not smell like pooPP. we were a bit hesitant to take little bear down to the basement to get bathed b/c the last time adeline followed me with wes thinking i knew she was behind me & me not knowing she was behind me & then adeline fell 6 feet from the basement steps onto concrete (that was a week before christmas?). soo... we were happy *she* suggested the bath this time.

AND...it's amelia's birthday party tomorrow!
her birthday isn't until august 26th but the park we wanted to rent for the party wasn't available except for tomorrow, so, amelia is lucky to have an early birthday party. AND i didn't plan it. can you believe that my sister & mom planned her 1st birthday party...you know, from cake to hats to decorations, etc. my mother in law made some scrumptious side dishes & another amazingly adorable tutu...the theme is butterfly amelia. we *will* have pictures, no worries. (i may even finally slip in my hair cut picture...i've gotten some good reviews so far. my mother in law even thought i had a weave put in, that's how good my stylist is {i do not have a weave})... the point of this line of thinking: MY BABY IS TURNING 1 SOON?! where did the past year go?

if i were to close my eyes & tell myself 'you're 8 1/2 months pregnant with j2 {our name for baby #2, junior 2 = j2}, just finished hovering over the grimy toilet, then drank a ginger ale to keep the rest down' OR i could place myself in the delivery room at st. ann's hospital, trying to keep myself from yelling at my 3rd nurse who was an idiot & in some severe back labor pains OR i could be holding our freshly new wee-tiny amelia anne gerbick (to we gerbickians, a 6.7 baby is wee tiny, even though my twin nieces were below the 5 pound mark, still...) thinking i'm so glad labor is over, why didn't nurse #5 believe i was ready to push *thought shift* i am in love with this wee baby, she's so tiny & snugly OR i could place myself in week #5 of amelia's life, when she wouldn't stop crying & vomiting & wrenching her tiny body around after eating & i can feel the frustration of not knowing what is wrong (GERD & some sort of allergy to some unidentified food in my breast milk) & then i can place myself also in that wee #5 crying & crying b/c amelia loved formula more than my breast milk & also b/c my engorged breasts HURT LIKE HELL & i felt guilt & guilt & guilt wash over me b/c my reflux baby was on medicine & formula & i felt like a failure OR i could place myself around month 4 1/2 when life started to calm down a bit & a bumpy rhythm was found with both girls & i was getting all these wonderful snuggles from this gorgeous baby...

i could go on & on. this year has been *so hard* on many different levels. i don't think i have EVER gone to so many doctor's appointments in a year as this past year. my freakin goodness. it was like we lived with medical professionals, ya know? anyway, it was a hard year, but here we are, content, happy, in love with each other (all of us). i will remember that this year taught me to trust my medicinal instinct. i knew around week 3 that amelia had reflux & food allergies when the doc said try a different position for burping her (??); i knew that adeline had food allergies before the doctor confirmed it via blood tests; i knew that my weird host of symptoms was not 'hormonal' but something more serious {i did *not* think a brain tumor, though, lol}, i mean, i could go on & on about our medical woes, but... in quick verse: parents, trust your gut.

oh my, i must go to bed. yes, 10:15 p.m. is LATE for me.

things to know!

first, this week is 'nude recreation week' apparently. so, folks, go outside & play in the nude! i know at my house, adeline has already embraced this celebration, lol.

second, amelia is 11 months old today! yes, this is truly unbelievable. it's as if yesterday i was holding my 2nd baby girl, so tiny i hardly believed she came from me. here's some pictures (of course, would you not expect pictures?)

if you look closely, (hhm, click on the picture?), this is when her left eye started to swell shut on friday. lovely, eh?

ballerina toes

i couldn't decide which i liked better, so...i'm just putting them both up.

she has 4 teeth (& we know a few more are working the way out), 1 dimple, is crawling & cruising, & knows how to seriously annoy her sister, lol. she is quite the spunky little one & is easily distracted by nearly everything...which is adorable to mess around with her.

third, wow, my surgery is tuesday. wow. wow. wow. so wes is going to possibly be doing some updates while the surgery is going on through the blog. i don't know, i think it's just something to keep him occupied. after my afternoon on friday turned sour, the evening perked up. saturday morning we went to soaking prayer at the vineyard & is was amazing. it's as if our anxiety bubble was popped & we could relax. to sum it up: god was there & lavished some lovin' on us.

fourth, i went out with a group of my friends saturday night. lol. what a time, what a time. i was having such a hard time on friday trying to even *think* of what to do, so two of my friends just planned it for me (thank you, thank you carol & erin!). so we wined & dined at an italian restaurant in bexley, then per my friend christine's suggestion, we went to this small bar near her place in the victorian village. she ordered a pitcher, i think we were hit on by some ladies?, the music was loud, etc etc. the manager bought us another pitcher of beer...did i mention there was a dance floor w/ a disco ball? & i was like oh noooo, i'm not dancing, i suck at dancing, blah blah blah. christine decided it was high time to order harold a goodbye irish car bomb.

so...the last time i chugged an irish car bomb, well, it didn't end so well (puking at the base of a dumpster outside of barley's is pretty low...but i chugged two of them that time b/c my friend holli refused to drink hers, so, uh it was paid for & couldn't be wasted, right?!).
anyway, i somehow agreed to do this irish car bomb (which is a terrible name for a drink, eh?) with christine (a-hem, the mama of two beat the no-kids, college lady, ahem) & oh say 10 minutes later there were christine & i dancing under the stupid disco ball. yup, funny. i am sooo glad no one has a video. so glad.

carol, erin, christine, holli, kara, & judy (who drove me, thank heavens & boy does she have some interesting stories about me talking about planets on our ride home, lol)...thanks for a wonderful night out, even if it meant i had to take a few ibuprofen this morning.

fifth, wes & i went on a mini date tonight & out freakin car died! we so give it all up. i was ready to walk home, so serious. thankfully wes is knowledgeable with cars (growing up with your dad as a car dealer could do that to a person) & he figured out the problem (hhmm, the thing that holds the battery in place keeps loosening? so there was wes under the hood, yelling for me to 'turn the key' & i did & well, he was only shocked a few times. poor guy. it's nothing a call to AAA won't fix, thankfully (he would fix it himself, but i assured him we have enough stuff going on right now, just call AAA, why else do we pay them?!).

six, i keep telling myself: don't think of the surgery, don't do it, don't do it. we'll see; that works sometimes. i don't think i'm as anxious as i was last week. but my stomach is in a permanent knot & not a whole lot of food gets down there before it starts rumbling. there you have it: to lose some weight, get a brain tumor! anyway, my last day with harold...i just can't believe the surgery is upon me already.

independence weekend

did everyone have a good 4th weekend? i think i can safely say we gerbickians did. let's see, i'll give ya a quick run down: drive to my parents in cinnamon lake (oh) friday morning, addy played like crazy & even took an afternoon nap (as did we all!), go to balloon lift off, watch adeline eat gobs of oreos & then have tantrum after we take oreos away, put girls down, stay up late with my hubby & parents, wake up at 10 a.m. (ooh yea), hang out in pj's for awhile, lunch, sister & brother in law arrive, talk with mom & sister for awhile, decide to go shopping with my mom to outlet mall, shop!, back to cinnamon lake where my dad's parents are there & my brother, sister in law & twins are also, eat dinner, give older girls a bath b/c they are so stinkin' dirty!, go to fireworks, come home, chat a bit while watching decorating shows, sleep, wes up early to canoe on the lake with my brother, i get up at 9 a.m. (again, oooh yea), breakfast (asiago bagel), pack like crazy & drive back to westerville, arriving at noon exactly. there you have it! (the rest is just boring boo-ha-ha.)

here is a hot air balloon lift-off, for all those who are not from ashland, ohio.

i believe there were 28 balloons this year(??) which seemed like a lot at the time...they just kept filling up & lifting off! adeline was over the top excited about it all, especially when pop-pop took her to see them up close. of course, she wanted to take a little ride in the balloon, which they do, but she wasn't tall enough or something. at any rate, it's a pretty fun time with little ones.

& i just love to give you cute pictures of my kids. so here's another.

& this was addy's 'job' all weekend: take stones from the ground, place them on the outdoor table. it was hard, dirty work but she did it anyway.

all 4 grand babies prior to the fireworks. as you can see, they were eating & chloe & zoe had these adorable white shirts on...so to eat, they were topless. if you have a kid, you know you've done this. what i'm not posting is a picture of the girls down to their skivvies running inside. imagine it, b/c it's a keeper. (for parents)

let me just say that driving even 90 minutes north drops the temperature 10 degrees. it was such a nice, cool weekend. i know it was cool in columbus as well, but this was even better. (sorry mom & dad, not enough to make us move). it was a fun weekend with my family...adeline has cemented her twin cousins as her first best friends in the whole wide world & amelia is trying her hardest to keep up with them.

which brings me to an amelia milestone announcement: she is now climbing up entire flights of stairs. age 10 months. when the 3 older girls were getting their bath, amelia heard the goings-on upstairs & she high tailed it up there (thankfully wes saw her starting & was close behind...but she didn't falter once). what a gal, that amelia.

anyway, we took the 3 oldest to the fireworks at ashland. the fireworks were good, not red-white-&-boom good, but small town ohio good & what's best is that you don't have to wade through crowds of people. we actually parked at the hawkins (a grocery store, for all you non-ashlanders) parking lot & sat on the surrounding grass (yea, by claremont). we were 'those people' but we wanted to ensure a quick exit in case chloe or zoe became frightened (last year, one of them was so scared! & this year chloe still shook from fear of the noise (maybe?), but didn't cry & calmed down quickly). anyway, we were classy, make no doubt about it. functional; that's what we were.

so, thanks mom & dad, for letting me sleep in until 10 & buying especially for me the asiago bagels from buehlers. yum yum.

***

& today we had a play date with a family down the street. they have two girls who are each a few months older than ours. how convenient! & i just have to say, it's great when to meet another family who's in the same boat as we are. 2 girls, dogs, etc. it's just sort of like holding a mirror up, ya know? well, adeline & her counterpart had a fantastic time together, when they did decide to play which each other. we didn't observe any fights, but we did let them play about 50 yards away in a sandbox together (we walked to a nearby park, did i mention that?) & i did see addy throwing sand, but there were not tears shed from the sand throwing.

amelia & her counterpart crawled around the ground, each eating their share of mulch, grass, sand, & dirt. it took about 3 minutes before the moms were comfortable enough to stick our fingers in the other baby's mouth to pull out an object. then the babies would try to climb & do the slides...all good stuff.

& my counterpart & i chatted it up about many things...from feminism & raising two girls to long hospital stays (hers was while pregnant with #2, mine coming up) to husbands who drive bomber old cars (& not the cool, run-on-veg-oil kind, either, sadly) & do cost analysis for nearly everything they purchase to growing plants in our neighborhood, where there is hardly any full sun (due to old, giant, & beautiful trees). she had some great advice about the upcoming separation between myself & the girls, from experience (she went to work one day & never returned home for over 6 weeks! can you imagine being in the hospital that long?! on bed rest?! while pregnant w/ hospital food?! gah!!).

then we come home for lunch. all is well, amelia is snoozing away but addy decides not to take a nap. not a big deal. somehow she snuck past me reading in the playroom & made her sneaky way downstairs to the kitchen. finally, as i'm drying my eyes after finishing the book thief (oh my goodness, a great book!), i hear some clanking of silverware. i hear an ever so faint beeping coming from our fridge. *crap* addy is downstairs. i decide not to get worked up, what could she be into already? wrong mama, wrong.
i found the blueberry monster in my kitchen. i think her hands, feet, & face were blue for quite some time after this (as is the grout in this tile & part of the carpet in the living room where she apparently briefly ate her find). these are the frozen packaged blueberries, not the tub-o-blueberries that we have sitting in the fridge. now those wouldn't have been so messy! but nope, she chose the messy, frozen version. that's just adeline, i suppose.

baby bump

amelia fell out of her high chair this morning. crashed, head first onto the wood deck (they were eating breakfast outside). poor girl! she seems to have recovered nicely. according to our pediatric nurse, who we called nearly immediately, as long as the bump on the head is hard, it's all good. when the bump is soft, not good b/c it's then filled with fluid. she has a small, hard baby bump & scrape on her head. it's covered by her hair, though, lucky girl. i think she's doing just fine now, about an hour after the incident: she's crawling over adeline who's laying down on the floor watching tv, attempting to then climb up the slide, & now she just crawled into the kitchen to find something interesting in the cupboard to bring back to play with right beside her mama.

***
addy's new word is "yep". she says it with the most nonchalant, girly voice ever. i ask her questions just to get the 'yep' response. she is learning signs like crazy! these cards i bought at border's are amazing! AND amelia gave her first sign the other day ("more"). so apparently amelia is eyeing us down while i practice signs with adeline! smarty.

***
i tell ya, if curious george & sid the science kid weren't on tv, i wouldn't be able to blog...lol.

***
so last thursday a 'survivor' of an acoustic neuroma/vestibular schwannoma ("AN") came to visit me. we met on this chat board (i'm the 4th member, lol) but we all have the same doctor & they all had the same surgery. in case you didn't know this, AN can be in slightly different spots around the same area, so not all are the same or come with the same symptoms or concerns during surgery (different nerves may be wrapped up in the tumor from person to person). anyway, this woman, paige, has two kids (her youngest's name is amelia! who is 14 months) & had this surgery last fall, around thanksgiving. she is much less emotional than i am, but in a good way & gave me sooo much information. it was wonderful.

part of the wonderfulness was just seeing her. she could walk, talk, pick up her little one (her son was at a playdate); i think part of my fear is that some of the possible complications will change how i am, like my ability to smile or talk or whatever (read: i will look very different). she told me everything i wanted to know, holding nothing back. i feel much better, more knowledgeable after talking with her, meeting her. she even had some facial paralysis & total hearing loss in the operated ear (her right, my left). she told me the gritty details about some stuff, which it seems is better to hear the truthful gritty details instead of my great imagination taking all the possibilities & running away with it. i'm sure i'll keep referencing what paige told me over the next few weeks...safe to say it was helpful to meet with her.

***

wes & i went on a date friday night! yippee yea! we went to dinner & a movie, at easton. we really like the mexican restuarant there, abuelos & nearly always eat there when in easton sans kids. then we watched "away we go". it was pretty good per my report, not so great per wes' report. i thought since it was about parenting stuff he'd get a kick out of it, but in hindsight, i should've chosen 'the hangover' for us instead. sorry hubby. BUT there were some really funny scenes in this movie & i would recommend it...like the totally whacked "continuum parenting" people. i guess it just showed the diversity of parenting styles & how odd that specific one looks to others who are not like them?

the one thing i learned from the previews is that the book i just read "the time traveler's wife" is now a movie coming out in august or sometime around then. *sigh* don't know how i feel about it. i will FOR SURE watch it, but sometimes movies adapted from books just aren't as good as the books & then it warps my opinion of the book. plus i have my own thoughts of what the characters & scenes look like & this movie may be totally different! know what i mean? so i guess what i'm sayin': read the book before seeing the movie.

***
sid is over, must go.

the strawberry thief

if you look closely you will see our strawberry thief. she will strike at any time of day. she will eat the berries whether fully ripe or not (ewww!). she has two legs, blond hair. you get the picture!

although a bit bothered by her continuous eating of non-ripened berries, this IS what the strawberry patch is for: family eating! & eat she does. i think when a large amount of the berries ripen, she will be drunk on the s'berries.

there is a part of me that is very proud that adeline is digging around in a patch of home grown fruit & then biting it after doing a little spit-shine to get the dirt off (amazingly, i believe she thought of this herself! she loves to spit, really).******

change of scenery: inside.
time of day: late morning, post millie 1st nap.
occurance: amelia's first climb up the slide.
success rate: .5
status: knocked over by older sibling

this would be called the sister-train:

"see amelia, this is how you do it"

"oh, i get it!"

******

random pictures

the millie sleeping in the outdoor swing. poor kiddo. when will that tooth come through?

addy swinging with her favorite outfit on in 85 degree weather (with 89% humidity). even hot weather can't keep her out of her cat-halloween shirt!

addy watching kangaroos at the zoo.

she kept trying to climb into their area...we went thursday to the zoo with my sister in law, her mom, & my twin nieces, who are 2 years old & addy's best friends. i haven't seen addy so excited in quite awhile as when she laid eyes on the twins yesterday. she talked to them, held hands (not for long, but...), they tickled each other even a bit, addy shared their double wide stroller with one at a time. we were there for 5 1/2 hours, the longest we have ever stayed at the zoo & it was by far the easiest zoo trip we've had yet. not sure if it was b/c addy was so entertained by her cousins or if it was b/c we had a grandma there! or both? BUT, the question of the day: how did i only get a few pictures, mostly of animals? these twins had on the cutest dresses & the girls were being oogly-eyed in love with each other & i didn't manage to get a good picture of all of them together! DOI!

amelia also really enjoyed the twins, but for other reasons such as snatching their french fries. she has become quite the quick swiper of any thing, but food in particular. but the twins didn't seem to mind, at least they didn't respond like addy does ('mine!') maybe b/c they've had stuff swiped from each other before?

what else? well, today was a very frustrating day with huge ups & downs. i think we are reaching the pinnacle of addy's language barrier. by now she should have, what...200 words? maybe, i can't remember exactly. today i wrote down all the words she said & added a few others she didn't use that i know she can say & there is 21. to be proud, "cool!" is one of the words, *smile*... but i can tell that she is getting even more frustrated with herself & not being able to express herself through language. she has started this frustrated, high-pitched gibberish & then tears start to well up in her eyes & she throws her arms up in defeat. there have been many, many, many tantrums this week. not the big ones that last upwards of an hour, but the constant mini ones. she even peed herself 5 times today! she is beyond frustrated, i am beyond frustrated & i think we are at this hopeless point b/c no one will freakin call me back about getting speech therapy lined up (help me grow isn't so wonderful, after all! humph!) or about her hearing test results. i am ready to pack up the medical train & move to this type of 'homeopathic/wholistic md' version of a doctor that i have read about in some magazine in the past 2 years. someone who will take the freakin time to call us back, to be concerned with her whole situation, not just their little part in the equation. *SIGH*

in better news, i think i can say with confidence that life has gotten a bit easier lately (yes! even with amelia teething her top front teeth for the past 5 weeks. grrrrrrrrrrr.) i have accepted that addy doesn't nap anymore & if she happens to fall asleep on the couch or in her room (i still put her in her bedroom for 'quiet time') it's a plus & our night just got a bit easier. amelia is doing the two naps a day & is just a hoot to watch crawl around & explore. she has such interest in everything. it makes me smile to see her find a strewn lego & how excited this discovery makes her. & she's giving hugs, i swear it! this starts the age that i really enjoy...the exploring! i don't mind babyproofing & finding toppled everything (b/c really, if i've left it out, it's more my fault, eh?). her enthusiasm about everyday items is very contagious. just today she studied the intricacies of a toy-fairy wand for hours. it went with her wherever she went via mouth or her hand (or addy). only once did she poke herself in the eye with the end! so yea, i am loving that she's crawling & i can't wait for her to walk, even more fun in my opinion.

i've decided that the only other thing, besides being pregnant, that makes me never want to have a baby again: the age of 2. i can only go through this one more time. if we do adopt a kid in a few years, he has to be over the age of 3! that's my only stipulation, lol. maybe age 2 would be easier if adeline could express herself better. for sure we have had a rough go of it b/c of this language stuff, but i know all 2 year olds are a bit prickly around the edges. don't get me wrong, adeline amazes me daily with her kindness & soft heart & how she can crack jokes without even talking is beyond me, but she is a tiny comedian. when i wake up & hear her in the morning, i love it, even as she's throwing my glasses in my face, smudging them. or when she rolls around in our bed so much that she loses her place & rolls right off (which is quite the distance now with the new bed frame). or when she tells us-seriously-1 million times "addy a-boo-boo" in that poor me voice (i told her today that even the pope himself in rome knows she has this boo-boo & it will be okay now & she just looked at me with a very quizzical look & walked away. it worked!)

i don't know what i'm trying to say here. i do know i'm still tired half of the day, these girls wear me out! but i'm realizing how dirty my house is & doing better at finding little snippets of time to clean little by little every day. that is a huge development! i'm also making more meals from scratch, which is also a sign of the times (life is getting a bit easier again).

our day, in reverse!

why don't the pictures upload in order?! grrr.
so i guess we are showing you our day, in reverse. deal with it *smile*

SO! here is amelia in her new car seat! she was STOKED. she smiled & giggled & flapped her arms & legs the entire 5 minute car ride.

we laundered money by buying gift cards at giant eagle (a grocery store, for all you idahoans) & being part of their 'card club' gives us money off of gas. last week i filled up the tank for FREE! just for buying gift cards for things we already buy. does that make sense? anyway, we call it the gerbickian money laundering scheme. brilliant. ANYWAY.

amelia seems to have suddenly grown up this past week. it's amazing to see the differences. i think we're just more shocked than sad at this point. she is fully mobile on all fours, but you knew that already. she's pulling up on things & you knew that. but what you didn't know is that today she started to toddle around! you know, by grabbing ahold of something, like an ottoman or the water table (outside plastic sink-ish thing that i highly recommend getting for a preschooler & toddler). then she's putting a spoon in her mouth (with nothing on it, of course...but this is a purposeful move on her part). she's holding her own bottle if given the chance (meaning we flail our hands around & sing "you hold it, amelia, i can't hold it. then she looks at me very closely & puts her wee hands around the bottle). i won't go into any more detail, but the gist is: amelia is ready to grow up. "enough of this baby stuff"

slide! (notice the tongue sticking out; for concentration?)

me looking chipper (btw: i found this dress last night at ann taylor loft for $25! oh yea)

swing!

is this not a cute kid?!

sneeze!

& why is addy sneezing? well, our luck has ended. all 3 girls have come down with a cold. a nose-dripping, sore throat-burning, super-sneezing virus. UGH. amelia has it the worse by far. poor wee one, teething & sick. addy wouldn't give me a goodnight kiss tonight b/c of the kleenex stuffed up my nose (at least my nose isn't dripping all over the place, which was happening just prior to the kleenex nose plugs).

this is a memorial in a park down the street (where we took the 5 minute car ride to). it has a flag for each military person who is/has been from westerville. or at least that's how i understood it! anyway, i think there's around 2,000 flags flappin' around.

it was pretty impressive to see this, esp when you drive by it. so many flags. when we walked through them tonight, i started to get a bit weepy reading the messages on some of the cards attached to eat flag, naming the service man/woman who it represents. more than a dozen or so that i read were about those killed while in combat/deployed (some going back to WW1, but still!).

as some of you may know, i align myself more with the liberal view of things...but one thing i am very adamant about is supporting the military & soldiers. (not that liberals don't, but it seems that is the idea going around by some...*ahem* my brother, lol!). my view of the military just may have something to do with my brother, who was in the army special forces & deployed to iraq for 18 months! but i also think what these soldiers give up--possibly their life--is amazingly brave/heroic/awe-inspiring. sometimes i just stop during the day & think to myself that there is a war going on right now (two wars?) & here i am, doing my daily thing.

when my brother was deployed i was working some crappy call center job (during college, ya know?) & i had been sick on & off that summer so i took most of my sick days & vacation days (b/c i was sick with strep throat nearly constantly! ugh). so when i asked to have a non-paid day off to see my brother off to iraq, the wouldn't give it to me! i had to just call it off, risking getting fired (thankfully my supervisor really liked me & talked the higher-ups out of it). my point is that it seems a good majority of americans don't even think about the losses military folks go through. not just death, but the actual missing of a family member for so long. the anxiety that goes along with being in a war, then waiting for your loved one to call/write, then coming home...there's so much that non-military folks don't think about & if you've never known someone close to you who's been deployed, you may not understand. but we should!

i guess what i'm trying to say is that especially during a war time, shouldn't every day be memorial day? veterans day? do we have to be reminded?

amelia playing in the water table.

today wes & i were trying to put our mulch out & adeline was being very very naughty & spent nearly half of her life this morning in time out. i couldn't take it anymore, so off we went to babies r us to buy a water table. & her AND amelia are smitten with their new toy.

i also purchased them a bubble blower machine-thingy. very snazzy.

the two girlies getting along! playing with each other! amazing.

amelia followed me wherever i went in the yard. under the swing, through the dirt & grass. around dog poo. everywhere.

gazing at the fluttering bubbles. pure childhood joy.

is amelia floating away? :o)

& that is our smarty-pants trying to eat a bubble. her face said "gross" once she caught it.

& this is the first day for bathing suits this year. although, i couldn't find (until just 2 minutes ago) addy's from her first summer--meaning amelia's now-- so we squeezed millie into this 2 piece 0-3 month bathing suit. poor kid, i thought her head was going to pop off.

amelia found our basket of pine cones (from christmas! i know, i know, lazy) & she was ecstatic about this discovery & made a very big mess indeed. at least it forced us to do something about the basket of pine cones, eh?

& this was only one day! we have two more parties/bbq's to attend this weekend...should be fun!

& now wes & i are going to have a home brew under the hop hut (his version of heaven-on-earth, my version of being eaten alive my mosquitoes *smile*)

uuuhhh, what?

that's what i thought this morning as i sat amelia on my lap, "uuhh, what?" as in, why is my lap soaking wet? all morning i have been noticing these spots of wetness on the floor. they are smeared a bit, so i just assumed they were griswold's spots where he lovingly licked the floor of something dog-worthy. but this wet spot on my lap was unavoidable & odd. i then assumed that amelia had again peed out of her diaper & started to wonder if we were giving her too much liquids b/c she keeps peeing her diaper full, then peeing her pants totally wet, etc. so i put her on the floor to investigate the diaper situation & this is what i find:

yes, that would be amelia WITHOUT a diaper! lmao!! my dear hubby is a great daddy & husband. he got up with amelia this morning just a few minutes before 6 a.m. (her wake up time for the past week) & i'm not sure when the diaper change took place, but when i checked this is what nearly 9 a.m. amelia was soaked, from toes to her chin. even her bib smelled like pee! poor kid!
i then called wes & told him & as he was cracking up laughing i also told him that he should expect the mop to be waiting for him at lunch time (b/c all those 'griswold lick spots' are actually 'amelia pee spots'), yes just another day in paradise with another story to chuckle over.

wait, another milestone amelia has hit: pulling herself up! she did it for wes this morning, bright & early. then she did it again for me on the ottoman (right before i discovered the no diaper morning), & then she nearly rocketed herself out of the crib. thankfully i was near the door & my memory was instantly attuned to the sound of a baby rattling the crib, ready to launch from addy's days in the crib. sure enough, i open the door to see amelia trying desperately to pull herself over the crib rail (she was standing & the railing hit her about waist high). egads! she is growing up like lightning. addy took forever to grow up & amelia seems to be on the fast track...i think i'm ready for it. below is a picture wes took right after amelia pulled herself up to explore the slide.

addy reading her new favorite book (garage sale find for $.25!!) "going on a bear hunt" & when we read it the story is usually accompanied with a beat of slapping our hands on our legs. i remember doing this in preschool, actually, & have sung this to addy before. but now, NOW we have the book! & it's her favorite this week.

amelia, learning from her friendly dog, griswold ("amelia, if you are using all 4 paws, just stick it in your mouth to carry something. mouths are so useful"). if you look closely, you just might see some pee streaks trailing behind amelia. lol.

adeline, the brave one, sticking her fingers in amelia's mouth to feel her new tooth. i can see it now: CHOMP! crying. "addy has a boo-boo".

self explanatory.

what other news? addy has somehow managed to get 4 boo-boos in the past two days, including her first splinter. i am not about to dig it out quite yet...i remember the first time i dug out my own splinter for the first time. i was so proud & ran to tell my dad "i pulled out my own splinter!" & he responded with an appropriate amount of enthusiasm (maybe b/c he didn't have to sit there & dig it out for me, as i cried & writhed around?). anyway, addy & boo-boos don't go well together. it seems just this week she has discovered that these boo-boos hurt & blood trickling down your leg/arm/etc isn't necessarily a funny thing anymore.

& i need a hair cut something fierce!