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...while millie is in her jumperoo doing her business (pooing, to be more blunt, sorry).
i had another eye doc appointment today. this was just an appointment to see if the new contact lenses were fitting on my eyeball correctly. i sat in the waiting for 30 minutes before the nurse came out & asked if i minded if another eye doc saw me b/c the new eye doc was busy. sure, no problem. but this other eye doc had a student with her, who sort of took a long time...anyway, the appointment took an hour & a half. phew, but it's over.
so i get home, yea! i'm hungry & wes has to leave immediately to get back to work. millie needs a bottle, adeline is hungry again. the daily grind. i feel like crap-ola from the meds & the cold. so i feed millie & then i start playing with addy & i actually have some tissue shoved up my nostrils. something i learned from a family member (i won't say who to save face for that person, i know i am a fairly open person, but this other may not be...). anyway, this is a neat trick to help stop the flow of snot without making your nose raw. try it! it works! but it looks very very odd. so i'm all jittery & i've forgotten to eat & addy is all crabby & millie has spit up all over b/c she just had a bottle & the door bell rings. oh crap! pull the nose stoppers out (thankfully i remembered they were in!!!) & put the baby on the hip & let the toddler hang behind me.
it was a lady from the church we visited on sunday. they are giving us a loaf of 'great harvest' bread, thanking us for visiting their church & hoping we are having a good day & that god is thinking of us. i am already crying as i am typing this. b/c it hit me that god is still thinking of me when i'm having a really shitty shitty month & winter & i feel like he doesn't really care that i'm missing lunch & i don't even know it. so here's this loaf of bread that's still warm & this lady with a nice smile. i didn't have the heart to tell her that we are totally not interested in her church (they have "special music"! egads...). last week when i was freaking out on topamax, um, which was all week & even today, i told my sister that it felt like god didn't even care that i was going through all of this & having a terrible winter & basically ignoring my kids most of the day b/c i'm so out of it. i think i even threw in a 'fuck you god' or two... (sorry, i don't think there are any kids or severely sensitive to cuss words folks reading my blog; really, i think it's pretty much just my close friends & family! lol)...anyway, pretty harsh words for god in general. ( for those who may not know, my sis is sort a pastor, so she knows how to handle this stuff, thankfully again). anyway, this is how god repays my harsh words: with a loaf of bread when i'm very hungry...so, uh...thanks god. humbled again.
i just wanted to share this with all the blog readers b/c i for sure know it's easy to assume god doesn't care. apparently he does.
i had another eye doc appointment today. this was just an appointment to see if the new contact lenses were fitting on my eyeball correctly. i sat in the waiting for 30 minutes before the nurse came out & asked if i minded if another eye doc saw me b/c the new eye doc was busy. sure, no problem. but this other eye doc had a student with her, who sort of took a long time...anyway, the appointment took an hour & a half. phew, but it's over.
so i get home, yea! i'm hungry & wes has to leave immediately to get back to work. millie needs a bottle, adeline is hungry again. the daily grind. i feel like crap-ola from the meds & the cold. so i feed millie & then i start playing with addy & i actually have some tissue shoved up my nostrils. something i learned from a family member (i won't say who to save face for that person, i know i am a fairly open person, but this other may not be...). anyway, this is a neat trick to help stop the flow of snot without making your nose raw. try it! it works! but it looks very very odd. so i'm all jittery & i've forgotten to eat & addy is all crabby & millie has spit up all over b/c she just had a bottle & the door bell rings. oh crap! pull the nose stoppers out (thankfully i remembered they were in!!!) & put the baby on the hip & let the toddler hang behind me.
it was a lady from the church we visited on sunday. they are giving us a loaf of 'great harvest' bread, thanking us for visiting their church & hoping we are having a good day & that god is thinking of us. i am already crying as i am typing this. b/c it hit me that god is still thinking of me when i'm having a really shitty shitty month & winter & i feel like he doesn't really care that i'm missing lunch & i don't even know it. so here's this loaf of bread that's still warm & this lady with a nice smile. i didn't have the heart to tell her that we are totally not interested in her church (they have "special music"! egads...). last week when i was freaking out on topamax, um, which was all week & even today, i told my sister that it felt like god didn't even care that i was going through all of this & having a terrible winter & basically ignoring my kids most of the day b/c i'm so out of it. i think i even threw in a 'fuck you god' or two... (sorry, i don't think there are any kids or severely sensitive to cuss words folks reading my blog; really, i think it's pretty much just my close friends & family! lol)...anyway, pretty harsh words for god in general. ( for those who may not know, my sis is sort a pastor, so she knows how to handle this stuff, thankfully again). anyway, this is how god repays my harsh words: with a loaf of bread when i'm very hungry...so, uh...thanks god. humbled again.
i just wanted to share this with all the blog readers b/c i for sure know it's easy to assume god doesn't care. apparently he does.
2 comments:
Thank you! This has been a bleck! sort of week. I needed that reminder. Hope you feel better soon.
Some of the kindest words someone ever spoke to me were "God has not forgotten you"..... it is easy to feel that way when life piles and piles and piles, lovey.
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