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last night went fairly well. i'm not stupid enough to say that tonight or all nights will go this well, but...amelia only woke up once at 2 & cried for 10 minutes. it included the usual baby cries: where are you my parents? i'm still crying; can't you hear me? okay, really getting pissed in here. very pissed off! i'm desperate! very sad & i'm so sad i'm sticking my legs & arms through the railings in desperation! oh sh*tballs (a word i learned from aunt kristi, thank you very much), i'm stuck in the railing, please come get me! now you've done it mama & daddy, my life is over; i can see the angels coming to get me now...
then suddenly she fell asleep. wes & i didn't wait for her to wake up again. i threw the pillow over my head & was asleep quickly & i'm guessing wes was also. but we were both very awake & sad during those 10 minutes. thens he woke up again around 5, wes fed her a 7 ounce bottle, she was asleep within 30 minutes & then woke up at 7:45! yipee!!!
as i type she's now passing the 10 minutes of last night & crying her way through a no naptime. 21 minutes & counting. usually she has no problem falling asleep when i put her in the crib awake. who knows why she's choosing today to throw a crying fit. b/c she can, i guess.
i'm just waiting for adeline to decide to disrupt her playroom playing & check on her sister which would abruptly end the no nap naptime...for those who don't know the gerbick style of cry it out, for nap times, 40 minutes is the crying topper. then it's just a nap failure. she has now reached a cry crescendo. poor girl! i just want to go grab her & coddle her, but that would really screw the entire situation.
anyway. totally changing the subject. the optical neuro-blah blah office staff called me back this morning, 2 days after the call (i know it was the weekend, but they told me to call them on the weekend, so... i did). yes, the staff. anyway. they want me to go down to one 50 mg a day & say that all my side effects are totally normal, as all topamax websites will tell you, but it's totally different when it's your life & your brain. as i will tell you! so i'm just waiting a few more minutes to call back & ask to speak with someone who isn't relaying what i'm saying to someone else who will then relay what they're saying to me. so i can cool down before i say "tell whomever you're talking to this: "screw yourself" or something to that effect b/c already i have adjusted to this medication & can tell within 10 minutes when i'm due for a dose, so just not taking a dose will totally jack me up even worse! so, what am i supposed to do! then they say, 'call back in anther week if you're still experiencing symptoms'...when am i supposed to stop experiencing these normal symptoms? why can't i talk to a nurse? dah! it's hard to explain how difficult it is to function daily on this medication AND have migraines (b/c the meds don't take effect for 4-5 weeks & the side effects don't go away for 1-4 weeks). blah blah blah...i'll stop now & just call the people who i should be talking to about this. you should probably feel for them about now.
then suddenly she fell asleep. wes & i didn't wait for her to wake up again. i threw the pillow over my head & was asleep quickly & i'm guessing wes was also. but we were both very awake & sad during those 10 minutes. thens he woke up again around 5, wes fed her a 7 ounce bottle, she was asleep within 30 minutes & then woke up at 7:45! yipee!!!
as i type she's now passing the 10 minutes of last night & crying her way through a no naptime. 21 minutes & counting. usually she has no problem falling asleep when i put her in the crib awake. who knows why she's choosing today to throw a crying fit. b/c she can, i guess.
i'm just waiting for adeline to decide to disrupt her playroom playing & check on her sister which would abruptly end the no nap naptime...for those who don't know the gerbick style of cry it out, for nap times, 40 minutes is the crying topper. then it's just a nap failure. she has now reached a cry crescendo. poor girl! i just want to go grab her & coddle her, but that would really screw the entire situation.
anyway. totally changing the subject. the optical neuro-blah blah office staff called me back this morning, 2 days after the call (i know it was the weekend, but they told me to call them on the weekend, so... i did). yes, the staff. anyway. they want me to go down to one 50 mg a day & say that all my side effects are totally normal, as all topamax websites will tell you, but it's totally different when it's your life & your brain. as i will tell you! so i'm just waiting a few more minutes to call back & ask to speak with someone who isn't relaying what i'm saying to someone else who will then relay what they're saying to me. so i can cool down before i say "tell whomever you're talking to this: "screw yourself" or something to that effect b/c already i have adjusted to this medication & can tell within 10 minutes when i'm due for a dose, so just not taking a dose will totally jack me up even worse! so, what am i supposed to do! then they say, 'call back in anther week if you're still experiencing symptoms'...when am i supposed to stop experiencing these normal symptoms? why can't i talk to a nurse? dah! it's hard to explain how difficult it is to function daily on this medication AND have migraines (b/c the meds don't take effect for 4-5 weeks & the side effects don't go away for 1-4 weeks). blah blah blah...i'll stop now & just call the people who i should be talking to about this. you should probably feel for them about now.
1 comment:
yeah Amelia! Mommy and Daddy need their sleep little girl!
How frustrating for you and that office. Praying for you. now.
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