& this just in:

adeline, now has this mystery high fever...i thought she was rather warm since saturday afternoon but then we all thought i was just so cold that her feeling warm was a fluke. not so. after lunch today i took her temp to get a 102.6. ugh. what is it from? & some people may think me totally heartless, but if she feels better in the morning, off to school she goes. really, amelia had this on & off again fever for 2 1/2 weeks, i can't not send her to school for 2 1/2 weeks for an illness the doctor won't even give us an antibiotic for (we saw the ped twice for amelia, still, no antibiotics given to us, even with her high fevers, another ugh).

i was really looking forward to sending her off to school happily tomorrow so i could continue my cleaning of the rooms (which includes a severe dusting of walls, baseboards, toys, blinds, etc). so far i've only done the girls' bedrooms. i know, this is severe. i'm getting a wee bit crazy cleaning here. but amelia helps out so well with her fake & barely wet rag, wiping the walls off with this huge grin on her face.

sorry for the rant. winter illnesses drive me bonkers.

among other things...

so here is a shot of sick amelia. she has her first post-ear tubes ear infection last week & into the weekend. she's doing much better now but still battling a very intense cold--you know, heavy green snot. so gross. so this is the new toddler carrier we bought a few weeks ago. & amelia is not so into it but adeline loves it (yes, it can carry adeline!) but now amelia has warmed up to it.

& i noticed how nicely matched i am with the carrier & also the wall. it was all planned, you know. important things.

***
this past weekend we had grandparent visitors! wes' parents stayed almost a day with us & overnight. adeline talked about it all week, so excited. here is a picture of the girls before we all (stupidly) went out to eat. (why stupidly? well, we went to carraba's b/c of their gluten free menu. we called ahead to get reservations at a certain time. we arrived on time. they told us we still had a 25-45 minute wait. what? better: whisky-tango-foxtrot! {thanks, scotty}. ugh, both girls were starting to lose it by the time our food arrived & adeline wanted to lay on my lap instead of eat, amelia was tossing ice cubes around. good times!)

so, yes, a picture of the girls pre-eating-disaster

adeline showing off her boots

***

ah, gluten free. how is that going? well, this week we've eaten pretty good after my lunch of carrots, celery, & an over-easy egg. i've had some painful stomach cramps & aches but i guess it's all part of my stomach getting used to the new gluten-free food. we're learning; i've finally shopped at whole foods which i've mostly avoided b/c i think it's a bit over-priced & well, just not necessary for us to drive 25 minutes to do grocery shopping. thankfully it seems the cheapest option is just a mile down the road at the raisin rack, a local health food store. same options, just about a dollar cheaper. anyway, they also have frozen gluten free doughnuts! & highlander grogg coffee! glory be.

we have cast out food worth hundreds of dollars, then spent another few hundred dollars on new food. did you know most soy sauces have gluten in them?! really. & chili beans. & some ice creams. so much stuff to part with. & some things we've spent a hefty chunk of change on turn out to be *nasty* like some pre-mix pizza crust. amelia even tossed it aside...yea, that disgusting that our garbage disposal wouldn't eat it. (for example: amelia ate cold refried beans out of a can today when we were preparing dinner. she will eat nearly anything, so you know this pizza crust was so terribly vomit-inducing).

i have more to say about it all but i'm tired & maybe just not ready to talk about it all quite yet. i think it's all so emotional for me not just b/c i'm giving up my favorite food choices...somehow i have to feel worse before i can feel better again. will it work? i just don't know the answers. i'm just tired of the trend of new diagnosis, ya know? (i'm praying this is the last for a good 30 years.) i have a lot to learn about when it comes to this celiac stuff.

***

welcome, natalie johanna parsons to this world! what a cutie.

done!

& here is a bathroom project we can say: accomplished. (well, mostly. we still have to put trim around the mirror...i am sorta against this, hoping it won't look a bit shaggy around the edges, ya know. but wes can try, oh will he try.)

so wes took thursday & friday off to *do the re-do*, if you will.

here he is looking all manly trying to pull off a counter top.

when pulling it off didn't work, time to get the saw out! it does look like much fun.

& here is a mostly finished job

the changing table now has a white skirt around it to hide all the changing table nightmares

so, let's talk about this paint color...it turned out completely wrong! doi. we went to home depot planning to get a yellow-orange color (think: rubber duck) & then we were like, ah let's go for a bright purple & seriously, this is what a purple swatch turned out to be. color fail.

wes refuses to paint it again, so we just went with it, threw out the idea of a rubber duckie bathroom (which was the old decor from the upstairs spare bathroom in our house in boise). i mean, really, adeline will be in grade school in a few years so why not give them an older looking bathroom. we tried to sell it as some sort of princess kind of thing. adeline was out of sorts about the re-do for a few days but now thinks it very pretty & deserving of many *wows!*

amelia likes that two tall stools are in the bathroom; that's about all she seems to care about right now...what enables her to reach more things to destroy.

a few more fav things

life isn't just about the food we eat, so i am re-focusing my blogging mind on other things that i love, my girls.

amelia is here wearing some shorts that are in the dress-up bin. i think she looks pretty darn spiffy. she gets her fashion sense from me, of course. shiny & layered are in, right?

adeline running in the snow. she wasn't running b/c it's the fun thing to do in the snow but b/c she didn't want her picture taken (which is totally the norm for her right now. i think it's b/c i took thousands of pics of her when she was 9 months & younger.)

adeline wearing a drum major outfit (also from the dress-up bin, a fav play time of the girls recently). this is also wes' drum major outfit that his mom made for him (halloween, i believe) when he was a kid. B/C wes wanted to be a drum major when he grew up...for a very long time apparently. maybe even as a middle schooler.

& here is adeline being a little kid.

you know, let's take this doll-moses basket my gram-mum made for my doll & use it to instead go really fast down the slide! (it does look fun, eh?) i think the next phase will be the steps & this moses basket...

amelia doing her version of 'hard-core-slide-kid'.

the pathetic tiny snowman adeline & i made yesterday. i blame it on the weather (the snow wasn't packing snow & we hardly had any to work with, so this is what you get. plus amelia was inside crying instead of napping, so we had a short time frame. all good excuses for pathetic snowman.)

there *are* good things in life aside from food.

***

so i called my dr's office & left a slightly perturbed message asking for more info about the blood results & gluten-free stuff & what he really means about 'highly reactive to gluten'. & to ask him to call in all the scripts i have lost along with my notebook that contains my life. surprisingly, dr im (not his nurse) called me back within 90 minutes. the result? scripts are called in, i indeed have celiac's disease (it's 'mild' right now, changing my diet now will save me years of pain & such). he kept saying 'you are highly intolerant of gluten' etc. then he said that my girls would also benefit from going gluten-free mostly (b/c gluten sensitivity is genetic). he also said he feels strongly that this will over time take care of many of the pains & problems. combine this gluten-free diet healing with hopeful healing from adrenal fatigue via the meds i'm on & then overall healing from my surgery (ie, numbness, balance, etc) i could feel much better over the next year. he mentioned that i could start to feel better in a matter of weeks, as far as stomach pain & muscle/joint pain go, but real healing will take much longer. i'm glad he called. he did agree that giving up pizza & baked goods with wheat flour will be difficult...then he said 'we all would benefit from eating mostly gluten-free...but you need a totally gluten free diet right now'. i know, i know. i think i'm getting there.

ah, amelia is awake & refreshed from her nap. must get the millie-monster out of the crib before she collapses it with her incessant shaking of the rails.

losing my mind

thanks to the jump start from my cortisol pill in the morning, i generally wake up feeling optimistic about what i can accomplish for the day. & that happened today. put powder in my ever-greasy, non washed hair (it just takes so long to wash, dry, & style my hair, about 90 minutes from start to finish...i wish, i wish i wish i had that hair that can just be washed & put some goop in it & then walk away...but the past few amazing stylists i've had told me that it's just not going to happen. unless i want to look like a frizzed out poof-ball. or grow my hair way out like i had it growing up...which then it's all flat & such, so that's not an option. i got this hair from my mom, so we moan about it together, just last week, actually). anyway, this post is not about hair. although it would be a *great* distraction.

so yes, i put some powder in my greasy hair, put some jeans, crew neck & sweater on & i looked pretty decent, really. ate some gorilla munch (which hurts my gums for some reason, must look into that...are my gums going to have to toughen up to corn & rice based foods as opposed to softer wheat flour?). take adeline to school & sorta look for my little notebook that carries my life & most recently my 3 new prescriptions & notes from dr im about which new supplement i'm to buy at raisin rack. but i can't find it anywhere. i called wes a few times, called my mom in case she saw it somewhere last thursday (yes, i have put off buying & filling prescriptions this long, but if you have been in our house the past week, you would understand. sick kids, remodeling, etc). this notebook is G-O-N-E.

so then i just start to cry. then sob, then i'm screaming obscenities at the world, in my empty house (amelia was still in her car seat b/c i still had this hope that i would turn around & there it would be, my notebook, just sitting on the counter. this did not happen). my mom mentioned something about a no-carb crash happening around today or tomorrow & i think that may be happening (combine with menstrual moods, & the high & low from the cortisol, then the not sleeping well--which is why i need to find that damn sleeping pill prescription!).

my plans of going to raisin rack then heading to barnes & noble to let amelia play with the train set while i start to read a 'gluten free diet' cookbook or book or something...those plans are gone b/c i am red & puffy-eyed, have the post-break down head ache, & am just blue.

really, take away my white flour & i am so, so, so sad. i could do vegetarian so much better. i know this may seem silly to some of you readers, how emotional i am. but, like i said, combine all of the crumminess that we're dealing with right now & voila, i bet you'd be pretty damn emotional also. seriously, how many diagnosis (what is the plural of that word? diagnosises? no, doesn't look right & spell check is saying the big n-o). anyway, how many diagnosis {sp, lol} can i get in one year? inflamed optic nerves due to german ancestry (or if we're being real, from the AN), then we have the acoustic neuroma (AN), then we have adrenal fatigue, then we have fibromyalgia (which is most likely a general diagnosis from both adrenal fatigue & gluten), then we have gluten intolerance (or, if we're being real, celiac). what next? maybe i can have my wisdom teeth pulled this year also! or maybe early onset alzheimer's...which would explain why i keep misplacing EVERYTHING.

folks, you don't have to read my rantings about this. i'm sorry, just do a skim if this bores you or makes you want to shake me or something. but i hate writing in an actual journal b/c my handwriting is so slow, so here it is, typed up for your viewing pleasure.

i feel a bit better now...must take my contacts out (why is it that after a cry my contacts get all foggy?), put some make up around my red, puffed eyes & hopefully head back out to raisin rack & try my hardest not to cry in public. *smile* wish me luck.

a few of my favorite things

so i went to whole foods (a grocery store, for those who don't know) & checked out their very extensive gluten free sections. the options were plenty, i have to say. i was pretty amazed...& dumbfounded. i *know* i looked like a deer in the headlights when searching the gluten free section for flour. i bought 3 different types of flour & plan to make cookies tomorrow to see which works out best.

it seems our meals will have to be more planned. there isn't a whole lot of room for a quick decision meal, at least until we get used to eating like this & know what to go for. i really do think that i'll be able to get most of what i need at our local meijer store & then do some extra shopping once a month or so at whole foods or trader joes. anyway. i just have to put that out there b/c i can't stop thinking about it all, well, obviously b/c i just went grocery shopping.

but b/c a few of my favorite things totally have gluten in every molecule

• cinnamon rolls, namely, my grandma's... i will make it my life's work to emulate them with gluten free flour. we have cinnamon rolls every saturday morning. what are we going to do this saturday?!

• asiago bagels (from buehler's mostly)

• fluffy, white french bread with cold cuts
• pies, tarts
• cream of wheat
• thin mints & such tasty treats (hello, pepperidge farms mint milano cookies!)
• starbucks apple fritters
• chipotle tortilla chips (i asked tonight, they have gluten in them, damn them)
• play doh (that was a joke)
• PIZZA! one of my all-time favorite foods!! EVER! & i'm talking about the kind of pizza that we order. love it.
  

but really, you get the picture. i am in love with all purpose white flour & bread flour made from *wheat*. what am i going to do next christmas? & folks, i seriously cried when i walked through the bakery tonight at the grocery. cried.

if this is for real (i can still be in somewhat denial, right?) my diet will change & i will generally be eating very healthy stuff. like veggies. ugh. but it will be sad & i have to admit i am in mourning for the loss of my favorite things. at least i still have mint chocolate chip ice cream.

oi, me.

right before i was going to put a pot of water on the stove to boil pasta for a lunch of mac n cheese, the phone rang...it was dr im's nurse, calling to let me know that my blood work results were in & i am 'highly reactive' to gluten. he wants me to immediately (those were her words) switch to a gluten free diet. at my next appointment in march he will determine from the results of a new diet if i need to be tested for celiac's disease (b/c they have to do a endoscopy & grab a bit of the intestine to test...so i guess if that can be avoided, hip-hip-hooray?). b/c somehow a person can be non-celiac-gluten-intolerant. at any rate, i don't want to bore you with the details b/c well, i really don't know a whole lot about it myself yet either! what i have gathered from a few kind people who do know about this situation is to rid our diet of all things wheat, rye, barley. basically: my diet. i LOVE pastas, breads, gravies, sauces, etc. (gravies & sauces are out unless we use a different flour or thickening agent that doesn't contain gluten).

argh, this is difficult.

so yes, i got the news as i had a box of good ole mac n cheese in my hands. i listened, asked a few questions, hung up & started crying. i gave the girls some chicken nuggets & berries for lunch & scrounged around our house for *something* gluten free. i came up with a carrot. i ate it. then cried some more. i just don't like veggies, folks. i guess i will learn to tolerate them in due time, but...not today. so i finally got my mom on the phone & she said to eat an egg & i found one left in the fridge! i ate it & immediately felt so ill. apparently it will take some time for my intestines to not get a bit sick from non-gluten foods...long story in which i don't exactly know enough to tell everyone. something about my intestines not having proper celio's or somethin'-somethin'. can you tell i just learned about this?! *smile*

then i talk with my sister as i'm nauseous & she's all 'well take a cooking class together & learn how to cook using new ingredients' which made me cry more b/c wow, that's a very nice gesture, sis!

then an email from my mom's friend, who does have celiac's, rolled in & she had a bunch of info, including websites with recipes & gluten-free breads & flour products & even a blog. so. i feel a bit better now ESPECIALLY after i was again scrounging around our cupboards & then went downstairs to our pantry & low & behold, i found a box of gluten free cereal from trader joe's! (gorilla munch, one i liked even before). so i ate a very large bowl of cerel, a carrot, & an egg for lunch & my stomach is aching & moaning. but apparently that's normal? who knows, i hope to do a bit more research tonight once wes gets home & i am able to head out to a bookstore (to buy a recommendation from my dr & then also to buy a gluten free cookbook--hell-o! gotta eat!) & then to go to whole foods &/or raisin rack (the westerville health food store) &/or trader joe's.

a lot of the symptoms make so much sense. i really hope this is it, combined with adrenal fatigue...b/c both are manageable.

now, look out vineyard food pantry, here comes some serious amounts of food your way!

all the food on the counter contains gluten. seriously. what up?

look how sad & empty our cupboard looks!

here is the stuff from our basement pantry. all contain gluten. most are leaving the premises.

again, look how sad & forlorn the shelves appear *wink* & dude, do we have some serious chicken broth!

apparently we also have to get rid of wooden spoons b/c the gluten will stay within the spoon & transfer to the food once heated. i'm not sure if this applies to cutting boards, utensils, plastic stuff as well. if so...wow. this could be a pricey change over. add that to the adrenal fatigue diet recommendations (to eat organic b/c certain pesticides can aggravate adrenal dysfunction) & i think we just upped our monthly grocery bill by at least $100. what a year we have going for us, financially. at this point, health comes first. b/c i guess if we have poor health, what's the point of having all that money saved for retirement?

by the way: if you live near us & are in *need* of some food or know someone, let us know. lol, as long as they don't have celiac, right? as for the already opened stuff, i think we will either try to have wes eat it or hand it off to friends. (only wes b/c adeline & amelia both seem to have similar symptoms as i do. i won't go into the details b/c it's kinda gross, but...this will be a whole-family diet change, after adeline eats all those cheesy fish & such & until we come up with a replacement for kraft mac n cheese...gasp!)