and another birthday post..

Busy day apparently as today is also my (Wes) Grandma Gerbicks 94th birthday. That's right folks 94 years. At 94 my Grandma is still remarkably healthy despite what she says. Today when I called to talk to her she wondered allowed why she hadn't moved on to 'happier hunting grounds' yet. Her and my Grandpa were married for somewhere around 60 years and he passed in 1995 so for 14 years she's been flying solo. Anyway, I'm not so eloquent as my wife so I'm going to do a list...
- growing up I always remember going to their house (about 1 mile down the road) and always having fun. It was the same house my dad grew up in so there was always a story...playing ping-pong on the table my dad made, playing ball in the gigantic side yard, sitting in the breezeway listening to a story and on and on...
- her generosity and thriftiness...my Grandma grew up during the depression so despite the fact that they lived life like they had so little they always gave so much
- the cooking...my Grandma is Cicilian so the food was always marvelous. To this day few meatballs can match what Grandma could fix up. Unfortunately her better cooking days have left her... There is also the meat dressing for the holidays. My Grandma and her sisters were the only ones that could make it right and to this day my brother and I are still trying to get it figured out.
- lunch on Sundays. After church on sunday we would always go to lunch with my Grandparents. It was always a big deal when we got to ride with them in my Grandpa's Cadillac

I could write so much more but alas I will leave you with a picture. This is her with Addy at Christmas of 2006 (I think)

a birthday post for...

kristin brandt! hope you're having a good one, at work or at home or at a spa (wouldn't that last one be wonderful?!)

i met kristin a few months after we moved to boise. it was a time when i felt very alone & didn't really have any friends--whatsoever! new town, new everything, no friends (except wes & griswold, of course). one night we had dinner with her & her hubby at either our house or their's, i don't remember exactly (wes works with them. she is a *wood scientist!* i didn't even know that existed until i met her. pretty cool, eh?). anyway, during dinner it was mentioned that we were both of the feminist persuasion...& i instantly felt a connection to her. b/c of my shyness, however, i wasn't very hard core about pursuing a close friendship for awhile...which is a bummer b/c the more i find out about her, the more i like her.

like how she likes to put things through snail mail. a few weeks ago i asked her for recipe & then a week after that i not only got a recipe in the mail but a very sweet card. and she didn't make fun of my lack of dance abilities at a bill & becky's wedding. & she was there during that horrid rattlesnake debacle...she would be the lucky one who walked right by it without noticing the coiled poisonous snake at her feet (i believe that's a good thing that she didn't notice it b/c i am fairly certain she is afraid of snakes as well) so she saw me totally *FREAK OUT* about the snake, & is still willing to call me a friend! awesome, eh?

it is a relief when a friend is true to herself, realistic. i know i can always count on kristin to tell it how it is, especially about feminism & motherhood & how that all works with careers & such. & i need to mention that she has quite a knack for naming things that makes me slighty green with envy. i like to name things...but she goes above & beyond, usually throwing in alliteration or rhyming or maybe even some onomatopoeia (is that the right word i'm looking for?). AND somehow we have managed to do the impossible: figure out a way to transmit human viruses & even infections through internet connections! seriously. it has been freakish the past year how one of our family member will get sick, then they have the same thing (this is usually one of the girls, as they have an 18 (19, 20??) month old.

kristin, i miss you & hope one day we can get together, face to face (so we can really pass germs on--could you imagine all the germs the girls would give each other face to face?! dr beautiful would have to open her own practice). i hope our friendship continues to grow, even if it is through blogs & email currently. hope you had a good day (well, hope you still are having a good day since you're two hours behind ohio--ooh, maybe you're out to dinner!).

oh me, oh my

here's my big sister in this video. this is a subject close to home for me--domestic violence, dating violence, whatever you want to call it. here's my top ten thoughts about DV.

so first of all, it's not funny. at all.

secondly, it's not at all the victim's fault (just b/c someone yelled at you gives them the right to hit/punch/push you?).

third, it happens at any age, to both genders (but more often male to female aggression), in any socio-economic status.

fourth, it is a control thing (the abuser controlling the victim's choices, friendships, & eventually thoughts.

fifth, it takes a long time to leave (per #4: control).

sixth, the words & events will stay with the victim for a very long time (forever?).

seventh, most people--even those who are in the job of protecting the victim--do not understand the dynamic between abuser & victim.

eight, many, many, many cases of DV go without a call to the police (for example, mine).

nine, not many victims/survivors are as lucky as i have been, to get out of the relationship & then able to find a relationship that is based on love, trust, non-violence, & tenderness.

& ten, *you* need to care about this b/c chances are, someone you know & love & possibly even you have--or will--go through DV at some point.

apparently, this series in the dispatch isn't going over so well with some people...for whatever reason. i think some folks just don't try to understand the dynamics of control & fear. or whatever, i don't feel like going into it all right now, but know that this is a significant problem in our country (& anywhere that humans interact, really). so, if given the chance to be there for someone in this situation, well, just be there for him or her. & for pete's sake: STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM.

and today makes 6 years.

wow, i think we look a bit older now. a wee bit. obviously, our wedding day.

on a cruise, oh, circa 2005

our little vacation in michigan, july 2009

this past year has really pressed our vows, especially the 'in health & sickness' part. i tried for the 2nd time this year to make a video thingy for wes of our years together & we actually went out & bought a scanner (it's awesome; we can scan 3 photos at a time!) so i could get all the pictures up i wanted. so then i put them all in the windows movie maker program & it totally clogged our computer up, froze it all, etc *three times*. so i gave up. (i will prevail, stupid program.)

we've been through a lot together, it's quite a bit when we were talking last night about the past 7 year (1 year dating). we've owned 3 houses, one being 2,000 miles away from 'home', had 2 kids, gone through brain surgery, & now some icky medical problems...complete with all the usual stuff that life throws at everyone (which could include all the aforementioned--i know we're not the only ones going through this stuff).

but really, we are still in love. that's good, eh? we still try to help the other out & 'serve' each other. i just have to say, the past 4 months, wes has gone beyond what i thought would be needed...but he's still here, loving & caring for me. what a man.

here's a link to last year's post about how we met...crazy, i tell you. even now when i think of it i can hardly believe it really happened. did god really tell me that he was my husband or was i just imagining it? the way i know god wanted us together & then told me so is that every time our marriage is tested, through medical problems or financial ups & downs or lack of sleep or just basic human interaction frustration--we come out stronger, our bond & love is stronger. so i guess i should be thanking god a bit more for sending wes my way. (here's a measly *thanks*).

we had a great weekend together, btw...lots of spontaneous outings & dining out & movies & sleeping in. good times. here's to another 50 years or so. i love you, wesley. thanks for carrying me through the hard times recently.

6 years ago, another version...

some of you may remember that this wednesday was veteran's day (& my mom's birthday, which had to come first, if you know what i mean *wink*). i'm not going to get into the politics of the wars going on right now. all i'll say is that if there is one thing that i will never forget: that my 'little' brother was (or is, does that ever stop?) a soldier.

6 years ago he was not able to attend my wedding b/c he was in fallujah. for nearly 18 months he was gone, one of the thousands protecting our country & innocent civilians in other countries. not a minute went by the day of my wedding that i wasn't thinking of him, not even kidding. every time i look at group pictures from my wedding i want to cry (which is one of reasons you will only see 1 group photo of our wedding in my house) b/c he was supposed to be there, but couldn't make it. b/c again, he was a soldier in a war.

there are hundreds of thousands of veterans & soldiers out there...i wish it didn't take a few days a year to get people to recognize them & their sacrifices. while my brother was gone most of my family couldn't bare to watch the news. but somehow i believe it was my dad who would scour the pictures coming from journalists & my brother's unit, to see if he could spot scotty in one of them. (a lot of pictures/videos were coming out of fallujah at that time...very violent year then). these are a few that we found of him & then ones that he confirmed would be him. (& scotty, i guess i should've made sure this was okay with you before putting these up. if not, uh, sorry, you can give me a wee punch later :o)

i have such mixed thoughts & emotions about the war on terror. but one thing is for sure, i will never stop remembering on a daily or hourly time that we are indeed at war & families are grieving their soldiers *every single minute*. after my brother shared some stories, pictures, etc my mind set will forever be changed. like my mom said on her facebook page, tears just start pouring when i see a video or hear a story or see with my own eyes someone in military clothes (such a good thing i don't live near a military base, eh?!), & especially of troops returning. i will *never* forget the surreal feeling of seeing scotty walk through the columbus airport after his deployment. i remember my sister & i just held onto him for quite a few minutes (as he explained just how many people gave up their better seats for him, bought him a beer or food, etc).

anyway, it's not necessarily my story to tell, but thinking about it all is enough to make me cry just remembering that time. SO, to all veterans--my brother especially--i admire you more than words can say.

weekend starts...tomorrow! (for me)

tonight we met up with my in-laws to give them a weekend with their grand daughters. AND it's our anniversary on sunday. what will we do with all this time? i mean, i have an *ENTIRE DAY* to myself tomorrow. gadzooks!

i hope to spend an hour or two or 5 in the library. then a few hours doing nothing but listening to the sound of silence (& no, the library doesn't count towards that end). then i want to replace the mascara that was ruined the other day & have a trip to the mall to return some things & eat a cinnabun *all by myself!* i will smile & give encouraging looks to all parents overwhelmed by their children crying or throwing fits. i will sleep in as late as i need to. i will *not* watch dora or george.

wes & i will be able to get so much done...like rake the yard, finally (i think our neighbors are getting a bit nervous that we're boycotting leaf raking this year). i'm superly-duperly looking forward to this weekend w/ wes (gosh & griswold is still here, but now he doesn't even seem like something to reckon with. just a dog, lounging around, barfing up something odd here & there). wes & i also plan to visit the franklin park conservatory--where we got married! & it's all especially cool b/c the artist chihuly had an exhibit there at that time. it was so awesome to have all this beautiful blown glass...but there are some really funny pictures of people with what look like daggers or horns coming out of their heads from the blown glass. if i find one, i'll try to post it this weekend. (don't worry, judy, they were the more candid ones from the crowd, not you *smile*). anyway, it's so crazy that it's been 6 years.

***

so. addy's first parent teacher conference. i dunno why i'm so excited about this...but i totally looked like an idiot preschool mom sitting there with this huge grin on my face. i just felt like shouting "MY ADELINE IS IN PRESCHOOL & WE'RE AT A PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE!" &.& we just got her school pictures! somehow i'm going to get it up on here b/c it looks so stinkin' official...my baby is in school. & it's all good.

wes was with me but he was not nearly as dorky looking as me; he looked calm & mildly bored but happy to have a great reason to get out of work for an hour. but truly, how could he miss this? (can you feel the giddiness i exuded during this conference?!). anyway! addy's teacher was there, of course, mrs r. (ahem, that's not really her name, but i don't know if she'd appreciate her name being blog-casted) & then the physical therapist (or was she the occupational therapist?) who works with the class every other day. they had some interesting stories to share about dear adeline.

• she is a bit behind on gross motor skills, but comparing her newly 3 year old self to 4 or 5 year old boys isn't exactly equal...but in their gym times they are asked to run along the black line, around the gym. addy leads the 'slow' pack apparently, with 3 other kids. BUT & as mrs r said, this shows her intelligence (lol) she has learned how to deceive & cheat! once the group of faster runners are a bit ahead & only when the teachers aren't looking, adeline dashes across the gym *in front of* the other kids. which puts her in the lead! then they ask 'addy did you stay on the black line' & of course by that time she's back on the black line & she answers 'yep!' & keeps running. the best part? she now has followers. all the slower pack are now following her rebellious ways & cheating. when they were telling me about this, folks, i was nearly crying from laughter. i would pay to see this.
• quote: "addy gets a bit, uh, overly dramatic on the balance beam. {genuine smile} she is *not* shy."
• she does not have tantrums, angry outbursts, fits of throwing items, or back talking. they think she is very sweet & *whenever* they ask her to do something (other than run?) she will do it to her best ability.
• mrs r said that she loves addy so much, she wouldn't mind taking her home b/c she's so adorable & smart. (*sigh*, i know. but mrs r, addy does get angry, throw items & tantrums at home, so you may want to rethink that)
• they seem to get the impression that adeline needs to be a bit more independent. wes & i both looked very confused b/c so far addy has been the epitome of independent. so we asked a few questions, they gave examples. i thought to myself: grow a spine, she'll back down. for instance, when addy gets down to the class she just throws her coat, book bag, & teddy bear down on the floor. why? b/c she doesn't like to open her locker, leaving them to pick it all up & put it away. so wes & i were like, uh, just make her do it; tell her there's not an option. she'll do it. we explained that unless she's on clothing restrictions due to lack of cleanliness in her room, she picks out her clothes, dresses herself, cleans her own room, helps make her own lunch, etc etc. they had this look of 'we've been duped' & i think our look as 'yep, you were duped. but she's good at duping, so don't feel too bad'.

i must go to bed. but for those of you who are excited that i have a day off to myself tomorrow, know this: wes just found the toiletry bag for the girls in the car. the bag with amelia's antibiotics (for yes, another ear infection) & her twice daily reflux medication. & the cloth wipes to ensure amelia doesn't get a diaper rash. & addy's epi-pen. looks like the mama will be doing some migraine-inducing driving after all. (no, i didn't transfer bags; sorry to throw you under the bus wesley, but after 6 years, i think i can say i do it with love :o)

weird kid...

Right now Adeline is walking around begging to do homework. weird I tell you, weird...