oh me, oh my

here's my big sister in this video. this is a subject close to home for me--domestic violence, dating violence, whatever you want to call it. here's my top ten thoughts about DV.

so first of all, it's not funny. at all.

secondly, it's not at all the victim's fault (just b/c someone yelled at you gives them the right to hit/punch/push you?).

third, it happens at any age, to both genders (but more often male to female aggression), in any socio-economic status.

fourth, it is a control thing (the abuser controlling the victim's choices, friendships, & eventually thoughts.

fifth, it takes a long time to leave (per #4: control).

sixth, the words & events will stay with the victim for a very long time (forever?).

seventh, most people--even those who are in the job of protecting the victim--do not understand the dynamic between abuser & victim.

eight, many, many, many cases of DV go without a call to the police (for example, mine).

nine, not many victims/survivors are as lucky as i have been, to get out of the relationship & then able to find a relationship that is based on love, trust, non-violence, & tenderness.

& ten, *you* need to care about this b/c chances are, someone you know & love & possibly even you have--or will--go through DV at some point.

apparently, this series in the dispatch isn't going over so well with some people...for whatever reason. i think some folks just don't try to understand the dynamics of control & fear. or whatever, i don't feel like going into it all right now, but know that this is a significant problem in our country (& anywhere that humans interact, really). so, if given the chance to be there for someone in this situation, well, just be there for him or her. & for pete's sake: STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM.