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...we've made some changes on this here blog of ours. i don't know why, just felt like a time to do a bit of a kid-centric look for awhile. i hope it is enjoyable to ye readers *smile*
the girls are playing together right now. without fighting or pushing or adeline pulling that crazed child look right before she mows over her sister in full steam. they're, of course, playing with their kitchen stuff. so crawfords & weinsteins, thank you *so much* for giving us your family's kitchen set to re-do & give to our girls. they love it immensely.
***
yesterday was a bit of a disaster for me. i had an appointment with the infamous dr im, the d.o. who finally took my pain & symptoms seriously 3 months ago. & i have held to him saying 'my guess is that you'll be feeling mostly back to normal by our appointment in janurary.' well, damn it. not so much.
during the appointment, after i told him of how i felt great for about a month, then sleep started to become less like sleep & more about wake up, go back to sleep, wake up, (or wake up at 2 & don't go back to sleep at all! argh!)...then i mentioned other things & then--& this is so embarrassing--i started crying in front of him! he was very kind about it all, just handed me a box of tissues & said the dreaded words...'some people take longer than others for their adrenal glands to recover & regain proper functioning. with this type of fibromyalgia, our goal right now is that you have more good days than bad ones. think of all the improvements you have made so far, let's concentrate on the positives.' by that time i was nearly sobbing & i'm sure he was making a mental note in his head to underline the symptom i had just told him of having these 'mood swings', lol.
i was given some more supplements to take & then told to switch my sleeping pill. i went in hoping to lessen my pill intake & came out with two more! & an open rx for diflucan, the miracle pill for yeast infections. i get about 2 yeast infections a month! yes, lovely, isn't it? so after i mentioned that, he ordered bloodwork to see if i have a gluten sensitivity...& the thing about being in a hospital & being poked with so many needles is that i just sat right down in their lab downstairs (they have such a nice facility!), gave them my arm, they took my blood, i smiled at them, thanking them for a nice job, & walked out. amazing. a year ago, i would have to lay down for 20 minutes to ensure i didn't pass out & i would be doing some birth-breathing while the needle was going in, etc. what a change a year makes; i can finally take a blood draw like an adult!
so i came home & thankfully my mom was here b/c all i did for the next 3 hours was cry. i would be fine & then i'd think of all the pills i'm taking, the pains i have, the headaches, the migraines, etc & would just cry again. ugh, what a day. the only highlight of that appointment was that dr im said that getting a massage a few times a month would be very beneficial to the muscle/fibromyalgia pain. yea! he mentioned some places that have discounts if you pay for 6 months at a time, so we shall see. really, all i see are $$$, but...
***
anyway. adeline indeed has some sort of virus going on. lots of coughing, lots of snot, a fever. & when adeline has all of these things, well, like any sick person, she can be very grumpy. like just now. she came over to me suddenly (she was in the other room playing nicely with her sister) & nearly yells to me with this very mean look on her face: I DO SOMETHING NOW. I NEED SOMETHING. I NEED SOMETHING. so i remind her how to ask a question in a nice voice & she just keeps yelling I NEED SOMETHING & i ask her what does she need & she just yells back. so i sternly ask her, is this how you are to ask for help? i don't know what you need unless you tell me more details. to which she screams: I NEED SOMETHING NOOOOWWWWWW. as you can imagine, she is now in time out, wailing, 'i want daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy' etc.
oh the joys of a sick preschooler! i am guessing that, yes, she does need something. maybe a drink or help reaching something. but with her limited communications abilities right now & probably her head ache & just not feeling well...she sorta turns into this monster who really just needs a big hug. & now amelia is imitating her sister & is walking around the house with her bunny, doing fake cries. ugh. this is going to be a long day.
***
i am envisioning a year from now: adeline will be 4.25 years old, amelia 2.25 years old. all the baby toys will be gone, adeline will be able to get her own snacks (hopefully) & she may even be pooping in the toilet! GAH! amelia may even be potty trained by then! & hopefully both will be better at communication. i can hope, right? don't take hope away from me.
***
last night i started reading adeline a young children's version of the lion, the witch, & the wardrobe (by c. s. lewis). i wasn't quite sure if she was old enough, after the whole being terrified of finding nemo thing...but she was entranced. we read about 4 pages & she got about 1 inch from the pictures to see each detail. i would stop & ask her questions about the story to see if she was understanding & she did! she liked it! maybe in a few years we can bring out the real book & read it, then the movie.
here is a quote i found when searching for quotes for the blog banner. i just really like c.s. lewis
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)
which is how it feels now, like god is doing some minor (or other days, major) demolition in my body, in my life. & i have to believe that it is for the better.
***
also, my favorite author: chaim potok. i just really like his writing & stories. plus the whole learning about yamachas, which is very exciting. he has a seriies devoted to the life of asher lev...which if we had had a son, that was going to be his name (until my sister named her *cat* asher...& also b/c wes denied jude/judah until he met our friends' son, jude, who is a great kid & then he was like 'i think i could've done 'jude' for a boy now. well...too late, my hubby!). anyway, here's an excerpt:
"Human beings do not live forever, Reuven. We live less than the time it takes to blink an eye, if we measure our lives against eternity. So it may be asked what value is there to a human life. There is so much pain in the world. What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than the blink of an eye?
I learned a long time ago, Reuven, that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something. He can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant. Do you understand what I am saying? A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life.
It is hard work to fill one's life with meaning. That I do not think you understand yet. A life filled with meaning is worthy of rest. I want to be worthy of rest when I am no longer here."
— Chaim Potok (The Chosen)
***
i really must go before the double a's devise & carry out a coup .
the girls are playing together right now. without fighting or pushing or adeline pulling that crazed child look right before she mows over her sister in full steam. they're, of course, playing with their kitchen stuff. so crawfords & weinsteins, thank you *so much* for giving us your family's kitchen set to re-do & give to our girls. they love it immensely.
***
yesterday was a bit of a disaster for me. i had an appointment with the infamous dr im, the d.o. who finally took my pain & symptoms seriously 3 months ago. & i have held to him saying 'my guess is that you'll be feeling mostly back to normal by our appointment in janurary.' well, damn it. not so much.
during the appointment, after i told him of how i felt great for about a month, then sleep started to become less like sleep & more about wake up, go back to sleep, wake up, (or wake up at 2 & don't go back to sleep at all! argh!)...then i mentioned other things & then--& this is so embarrassing--i started crying in front of him! he was very kind about it all, just handed me a box of tissues & said the dreaded words...'some people take longer than others for their adrenal glands to recover & regain proper functioning. with this type of fibromyalgia, our goal right now is that you have more good days than bad ones. think of all the improvements you have made so far, let's concentrate on the positives.' by that time i was nearly sobbing & i'm sure he was making a mental note in his head to underline the symptom i had just told him of having these 'mood swings', lol.
i was given some more supplements to take & then told to switch my sleeping pill. i went in hoping to lessen my pill intake & came out with two more! & an open rx for diflucan, the miracle pill for yeast infections. i get about 2 yeast infections a month! yes, lovely, isn't it? so after i mentioned that, he ordered bloodwork to see if i have a gluten sensitivity...& the thing about being in a hospital & being poked with so many needles is that i just sat right down in their lab downstairs (they have such a nice facility!), gave them my arm, they took my blood, i smiled at them, thanking them for a nice job, & walked out. amazing. a year ago, i would have to lay down for 20 minutes to ensure i didn't pass out & i would be doing some birth-breathing while the needle was going in, etc. what a change a year makes; i can finally take a blood draw like an adult!
so i came home & thankfully my mom was here b/c all i did for the next 3 hours was cry. i would be fine & then i'd think of all the pills i'm taking, the pains i have, the headaches, the migraines, etc & would just cry again. ugh, what a day. the only highlight of that appointment was that dr im said that getting a massage a few times a month would be very beneficial to the muscle/fibromyalgia pain. yea! he mentioned some places that have discounts if you pay for 6 months at a time, so we shall see. really, all i see are $$$, but...
***
anyway. adeline indeed has some sort of virus going on. lots of coughing, lots of snot, a fever. & when adeline has all of these things, well, like any sick person, she can be very grumpy. like just now. she came over to me suddenly (she was in the other room playing nicely with her sister) & nearly yells to me with this very mean look on her face: I DO SOMETHING NOW. I NEED SOMETHING. I NEED SOMETHING. so i remind her how to ask a question in a nice voice & she just keeps yelling I NEED SOMETHING & i ask her what does she need & she just yells back. so i sternly ask her, is this how you are to ask for help? i don't know what you need unless you tell me more details. to which she screams: I NEED SOMETHING NOOOOWWWWWW. as you can imagine, she is now in time out, wailing, 'i want daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy' etc.
oh the joys of a sick preschooler! i am guessing that, yes, she does need something. maybe a drink or help reaching something. but with her limited communications abilities right now & probably her head ache & just not feeling well...she sorta turns into this monster who really just needs a big hug. & now amelia is imitating her sister & is walking around the house with her bunny, doing fake cries. ugh. this is going to be a long day.
***
i am envisioning a year from now: adeline will be 4.25 years old, amelia 2.25 years old. all the baby toys will be gone, adeline will be able to get her own snacks (hopefully) & she may even be pooping in the toilet! GAH! amelia may even be potty trained by then! & hopefully both will be better at communication. i can hope, right? don't take hope away from me.
***
last night i started reading adeline a young children's version of the lion, the witch, & the wardrobe (by c. s. lewis). i wasn't quite sure if she was old enough, after the whole being terrified of finding nemo thing...but she was entranced. we read about 4 pages & she got about 1 inch from the pictures to see each detail. i would stop & ask her questions about the story to see if she was understanding & she did! she liked it! maybe in a few years we can bring out the real book & read it, then the movie.
here is a quote i found when searching for quotes for the blog banner. i just really like c.s. lewis
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)
which is how it feels now, like god is doing some minor (or other days, major) demolition in my body, in my life. & i have to believe that it is for the better.
***
also, my favorite author: chaim potok. i just really like his writing & stories. plus the whole learning about yamachas, which is very exciting. he has a seriies devoted to the life of asher lev...which if we had had a son, that was going to be his name (until my sister named her *cat* asher...& also b/c wes denied jude/judah until he met our friends' son, jude, who is a great kid & then he was like 'i think i could've done 'jude' for a boy now. well...too late, my hubby!). anyway, here's an excerpt:
"Human beings do not live forever, Reuven. We live less than the time it takes to blink an eye, if we measure our lives against eternity. So it may be asked what value is there to a human life. There is so much pain in the world. What does it mean to have to suffer so much if our lives are nothing more than the blink of an eye?
I learned a long time ago, Reuven, that a blink of an eye in itself is nothing. But the eye that blinks, that is something. A span of life is nothing. But the man who lives that span, he is something. He can fill that tiny span with meaning, so its quality is immeasurable though its quantity may be insignificant. Do you understand what I am saying? A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life.
It is hard work to fill one's life with meaning. That I do not think you understand yet. A life filled with meaning is worthy of rest. I want to be worthy of rest when I am no longer here."
— Chaim Potok (The Chosen)
***
i really must go before the double a's devise & carry out a coup .
