topamax is freaky

i'm on my 2nd 50 mg tablet & already feeling the side effects. crazy stuff. i can't feel my finger tips sometimes. randomly, i also can't feel parts of my face, or i will get dizzy or feel like i'm swimming. or i will totally forget the name of something (most recently: trash can). you know when a part of your body 'falls asleep' & you get that 'pins & needles' feeling? well, that's how my arms & hands feel most of the time right now. CRAZY. how long will this last? weird! i think if i let myself lay down & close my eyes i would fall asleep immediately. not kidding.

so sorry that i have this blog to chronicle this whole event! i guess if you're bored with it, you won't read it, eh?

what else is going on right now? well, adeline is washing everything in sight with the sponge from the sink. amelia is sleeping finally. she is really sleeping terribly at night. ugh. & then waking up at about 5 or 5:30 a.m. for no apparent reason. we have crazy sleeper kids. why can't we have normal babies who sleep normal hours?

it's very odd to type & not be able to feel the keyboard very well. odd, indeed. & now my eye is twitching... let's hope these side effects go away or decrease...

mostly good things

(uncle) cliff & adeline at the zoo on saturday afternoon.

it was freezing! literally frigid. but this time we remembered blankets & a coat for addy, so at least we didn't look like bumbling idiot parents this time (but thankfully judy lent us a blanket last time. it's funny; she's always said i was so prepared with a packed full diaper bag...but she has loaned me blankets & pacifiers several times now).

adeline with some sort of goat? i don't know...by this time amelia had finally woken up screaming her little lungs out, so bri & i went to the gift shop (heat!) to take millie out of the car seat. millie then found a little faux tiger cub (pup?) & proceeded to slobber it to death (before we paid for it, of course).

i'm not sure how we got started on talking about chocolate covered strawberries, but bri & i day dreamed about them for awhile. then i mentioned that we have a godiva store in the mall, which is just a short 5 minute drive away. so after the girls were down, bri & i set off to the godiva shop for some chocolate covered strawberries...& came home with about $30 worth of chocolate from two different stores. what we have above consists of 5 chocolate covered strawberries, 3 berry mixtures in chocolate cups, an ginormous dark chocolate peanut butter cup, a fat piece of chocolate covered toffee, a delicious hunk of chocolate covered caramel, 1 milk chocolate truffle, & a chocolate & caramel covered sour apple. yum yum. cliff had some very tastey beer...it was raspberry beer, actually. very very very good. it was in a wine bottle & i think i could've drank the entire thing. sort of a tasted like a mix between beer & red wine. so we drank beer & ate chocolate covered yumminess. cliff & bri, you can visit us ANYTIME! (yes, even without chocolate & raspberry beer). {wait, is rasberry really spelled raspberry? i never realized that!}

today was my appointment with the optical neurologist. we were about 15 minutes late...oops! but apparently it snowed near the osu campus which made traffic around the medical buildings crawl. anyway, they didn't seem to mind. dr. katz had a very chipper optician who was hilarious & she apparently names the eye machines. i was using 'betty' today for my peripheral vision test...betty & her had a little spat last week & then betty just shut down for hours. so this lady was being very nice to betty today b/c she didn't want her acting up again. (totally not making this up). anyway. dr katz was maybe in his early 40's, slightly balding & wore scrubs & seemed to be very studious, kind, & earnest. he even joked around a bit about different things.

so here's the run down: he ruled out that this inflammation is caused by environmental factors. so now it's either from #1 that's how my eyes normally are or #2 spinal/brain fluid (there is a technical name for it, but i don't remember!) are putting pressure on my eyes due to something going awry in my brain-ish area. what is very interesting is that some people of more direct german ancestry actually have smaller optic nerves, making the nerves appear to look inflammed! so, i have german ancestry on both sides of my family...#1 could just be the culprit! BUT i still have these headaches & dizziness & passing out stuff going on. apparently my headaches aren't headaches, but migraines. so he gave me a migraine medication to take daily, then after 7 weeks, i am going back to osu to get a mri of my brain. i think the theory goes that hopefully the migraine medication will reduce the inflammation in the eyes which will help them find the cause of the migraines & dizziness.

the good part, (silver lining?) is that he didn't' see a reason to get the mri today. which tells me that it may not be as serious as it could be. he did mention the other buzz words (possible diseases) that the eye dr mentioned, but he truly seemed less concerned about my eyes & more concerned about the migraines. i don't know if that's good or bad, but...i'm not letting myself dwell on it. hopefully this medication (topamax) works & i will be migraine free. what a relief that will be!

a side story: so osu is a teaching hospital (obviously) so dr katz had a student (who is a dr as well or at least he had on some dr's coat with a name & title on it). but this other dude was obviously a student...dr katz looked into my eyes with this round magnifying glass thing & had this EXTREMELY bright light right next to my eyeball...ya know, looking at my optic nerve. so then he asks the student if he has seen this type of optic nerve problem before & the student seemed to snap back into reality from his day dream reverie & shook his head 'no' so dr katz replied 'well do you have your *thingy* with you?' [he really didn't say 'thingy' but i don't know what the heck that magnifying thing is called) & this student looked petrified & he felt inside his pockets (there were 5 of them) & looked mortified & shook his head no. so dr katz looks at him with this 'you dumb ass' look & turns back to me & keeps talking. it was hilarious! i felt for the student, of course. but come on! bring your *thingy* to work! you're studying to be an optical neurologist for goodness sake.

wes & i then go out for brunch & then peruse a bedroom furniture store. then we get into a fight (wes takes about a 20 step process to buy anything...i am not that way at all. if i see it & like it & especially if it's on sale, well, just get it! we had planned on getting a bed & dresser already, so... but it is resolved, no worries). then we go home & find that adeline has peed in the potty! wes' mom was able to get a day off of work to stay with the girls...everyone seemed very happy with that arrangement! amelia had about 12 ounces of formula & 2 feedings of solids since she woke up in the morning.

but yes, adeline is actually peeing in the potty fairly regularly now. it is totally driven by her, though. we can suggest to her to sit on the potty, but when she pees is totally her idea. then she takes the little bucket thing out of the small potty & brings it to us...which is very frightening b/c if you know addy, you know she's fairly clumsy. i can just see it now: she trips & sends a bucket with a cup of pee in it flying all over the place, all over herself. it's only a matter of time before it happens, i tell you.

so that's what's going on here. wes just came with dairy queen treats to celebrate this day being over, so...adios (we know dora here).

Happy 6 Months (& a day) Amelia

here's a little ditty for ms. millie.



the songs were picked out by amelia. i played about 10 different snippets of songs & picked the top 3 by her ferocity of 'jumperoo-edness' for each song. her favorite was 'sugar pie honey bun'... she was nearly jumping horizontal within 10 seconds!

addy had a whiny day. phwew, glad that's over... the whining really gets under my skin. other than that, she made me laugh today. in fact, the two girls had their first wrestling match! as i was putting the audio on the video & checking email, i look over where amelia was playing on the floor with a book & see adeline sitting on millie's legs (millie was face down) & playing with millie's hair & tickling her. amelia was laughing a great big belly laugh, but also struggling to hold herself up by her arms with adeline messing around on her back. seriously, a 30 pound 2 year old on top of a 6 month old (maybe 16 pound?) baby. so i went over & told adeline to get off of her sister & explained in toddler-ease why this isn't such a good idea. i go back to the computer. i look over 3 seconds later & adeline is again on top of millie, but this time her whole body was on top of her, doing some sort of wrestling move with both of them laughing belly laughs. geez oh man kiddo, thanks for listening to your mama. the next talking to adeline got was not as nice as the first...& i told her to wait 1 year.

adeline is in love with a pair of pajamas. they were a gift from her gerbick grandparents for valentine's day. she has worn them for 3 nights, which i believe is a record for number of nights worn by adeline...the really funny part is that she likes to pull them up really high on her belly. & seeing these pj's pulled up to her chest & then she decides to run...hilarious.

hhmm, what else? i dropped amelia yesterday; BUT i caught her before she hit the floor! with a bumbo in my other arm. a one-handed drop & a one-handed catch. she laughed, of course. wes threw adeline off his back, while we were all playing around on our bed after he got home from work..then adeline landed on her head on the floor. ya-ouch! she appears to be okay, but it was so adorable & sad: she just kept crying & holding her head & giving wes a very sour look. ... & we are putting away a few baby items: the aquarium swing & floor play gym; they're just the first of many. good riddance.

tomorrow we are going to the zoo & (aunt) bri & (uncle) cliff are visiting for the weekend! let's hope for a miraculously warm day tomorrow.

better day.

i got a call from my dad at 9:24 a.m. this morning. i assumed he was calling to tell me they were just leaving the house to come down to columbus for a visit...but he said 'tell adeline to look out the window!' & we looked out the window to find them in our driveway already! adeline gave the appropriate grandparent surprise visit: *hands over mouth* "GUH GUH, PUH [which is 'gram-mum, pop-pop' in adeline language]" *LOUD LAUGHTER & EXUBERANT SHOUTING*.

adeline & amelia had a wonderful day with them. everyone was laughing & happy & giggly. i think i let myself relax a bit more as well. it helped that i was able to go out to lunch with a delightful friend (christine!) to a delightful place (chipotle!) & then make a quick target run for necessary diapers & desitin. adeline had such a fun filled morning that she actually took a 2 hour nap! i got home around 3:30 & the house was so quiet. it was nice. too bad i can't get the house to be this quiet (how do grandparents do that?).

i talked to my eye dr this afternoon. i just love her already. she was very understanding of my freaking out-edness & said she didn't want to assume anything b/c she doesn't know for sure which way this will go (serious problem vs. non-serious problem) & she went through the trouble of explaining it all to me again & even answering questions before i asked them. i think i have more of an understanding of what all the possibilities are: #1 my eyes could just be normally this weird #2 very small particulates could be attaching themselves to my nerves (stuff from make up or face wash or iud hormones & a variety of other environmental stuff) #3 the nerve is inflammed & swollen from pressure or infection or a disease (ms, thyroid, tumor). so that's what i'm up against & i will know for sure (so says this eye doc) which of the three is the issue after the appointment with the optical neurologist on monday.

i am staying away from google & all medical websites from now until then! but i would of course still appreciate prayers that god would calm my nerves (figuratively & literally!) & whatever it is, i will be able to handle.

on a better note, my friend christine today told me that if i do in fact have MS, that she would ensure that i look good when i'm down & out. i guess that means style my hair & slop some make up on & get me into some decent clothes. gotta love friends! she even said she'd help me in the bathroom... wow.

& i don't know what happened with the edit of my last post...wes said he would edit it & mentioned something about spacing problems & somehow words ended up deleted or changed or smooshed together. hhhhm, i guess even if i don't feel up to it, i should edit my own post?

& wes is gleeful: his veggie seeds arrived in the mail today! he is downstairs as i type setting up his seed growing operation. (which, btw, he also said if i have ms he would grow weed for me to help me through rough times...i tell ya, i have wonderful people around me, eh? lol).

& now i want to start working on amelia's half birthday video! yes, the little cherub is 6 months today! it's hard to believe that it was that long ago, but i can remember the birth day like it happened last week. i just love this little one to pieces.

here's a picture of mama & amelia several minutes after her birth.

i need to get crackin' on that love fest video for my wee one!

still breathing.....

the past few days have been...stressing on the brain. this morning, i had planned on going to the gym & then relaxing at home with my girls for the day. doing a load of laundry & maybe even vacuuming. (maybe). then i got a call to see if i could take my grandma to an eye doctor b/c her sty is much worse. i just can't say no about my grandma. even though we're all sort of sick & i am dealing with some, oh, 'tough' information right now.
i will start a very long time ago, 15 years actually, for those who aren't my parents or husband & don't know all of this. i pass out randomly! i have had one (maybe 2) seizures, but that was when i was 15 & haven't had one since.i'm pretty good at knowing when a fainting spell is coming & am able to sit down, eat a banana, & drink loads of water & lay very still for 5 or 10 minutes. theni'm fine. the last time i passed out was 3 weeks after millie was born & i couldn't get my energy back & even 3 hours later at the e.r. my heart rate plummeted in a matter of seconds when i stood up (it was weird, we actually saw it b/c i was hooked up to a heart monitor thing).i've also been getting headaches. & i have ibs. every doctor i've talked to about this over the past 15 years freak out & order a list of tests (ekg, eeg , ct scan, stress test, um some sort of epilepsy test, blood work, etc etc etc) & i had gotten to the point of just not telling my doctor when i passed out b/c i was tired of being told 'all your results are normal, i guess this is just what happens to you'... so tuesday i went for a normal eye exam (& yea! i ordered new glasses!) & didn't mention anything about all my myriad of oddities b/c i just had an optometrist tell me in october that my headaches may be from hormones (this is also the eye doc who i refused to ever return to b/c she was terrible!). anyway, this new eye doc kept running all these weird tests on me that i'd never had before & then i picked out my glasses & then they dilated my eyes & said that the dr wants to see me again to do a few more tests. so she looks in my eyes with this VERY bright light for seriously 5 minutes. not kidding. then she pushes her chair back, hands me my glasses & is very serious & asks me if i have headaches. i say yes & she asks me to describe them & i do. then she starts asking all these other questions, like 'do you get weak or faint?' & i'm like 'holy shit! is she serious?' so i tell her my whole 15 years of passing out adventures (i was once driving & passed out! my sister was in the car to prove it). so then she does a few more scans & shows me what is going on...apparently i have inflamed optic nerves. i really didn't understand the whole situation at the time, but all the staff became very serious when they talked to me after that & then they set me up with a specialist (the eye doc wanted me int his week, but that couldn't happen b/c some richyoo-hoo 'the best' optical neurologist is on freakin vacation...grrr ). so she asks if i have any questions & i don't really know so i ask a few stuff, which i don't even remember... she kept saying that this pressure has to be coming from somewhere & it may be coming from my brain & she wants a specialist to see me & an mri of my brain. yippee.

then i go home & google this diagnosis. holy shit for sure. they only thing is that it could be caused from something as simple as a continuous sinus infection (whichi've been sick half of the winter, so...) or it could even be my iud ! or it could be multiple sclerosis. or a tumor. or a thyroid condition. lovely! once they find out what the cause is, supposedly this eye problem will correct itself once the problem is & that is taken away.

so then i google MS & even more holy shit, 40-60% of people with this eye condition have MS & i also have several other MS symptoms (part of the above stuff thati've dealt with for 15 years). so i'm totally freaking out here. let's just say i didn't sleep well last night. yesterday i called my sister sobbing my eyeballs out (probably not good for that pressure problem,lol) & i'm like 'i'm going to die!' & she directly left work to hang out with me. what a sis, eh?

anyway, so this morning i was determined to let the drama go & just get on with things as usual. so i started to get ready for the gym. exercise is always good for me wheni'm stressed. then i get the call about taking my grandma to the eye doctor (ironically, it's the other office of the same group of eye docs, in a different town). so i had until noon before i had to leave...i could stay here & think about this stuff all morning & try to play with the girls or i could go to the gym & de-stress. to the gym i went! i'm glad i did...i don't want to let myself 'go' as in let my mind wander & think of terrible possibilities & each mama needs a release. baking & exercising & gardening are mine (okay, & playing word twist on facebook).

on a side note: i noticed that when i need a pick-me-up, i don't listen to music by white folks. every 'moldy peaches' or indigo girls or ani difranco or hem song that came up on my mp3, i nixed & searched out alicia keys & mary j blige & lauryn hill. seriously, good stuff. i listened to alicia key's 'superwoman' twice, very loud. "even when i'm a mess, i still put on a vest with an s on my chest, i'm a superwoman...to all the mother's out there..." you must listen to this song, i'm telling you! and then mjb's family affair & no drama. come on! i don't know how to link you to things that will let you listen to these songs via my blog, so i guess just google them?

anyway: the afternoon progressed with a very grumpy baby & a 2 year old who dumped the ENTIRE box of rice cereal on the table. then the drive & then i find outi'm 30 minutes early (doi! i couldn't taken a shower!) & adeline is just getting cranky. somehow the eye appointment went well. then my grandma was told she had to immediately go to an eye surgeon in new albany (we were in johnstown , so just about 10 minutes away). i didn't panic too much b/c the optician (who i actually know from the 'big' vineyard! crazy!) said that they were waiting for us. i imagined us breezing in & them taking my grandma in quickly & then being done within 30 minutes. hardy har har. it took about 30 minutes to fill out the paperwork, then another 3o minutes for her to be seen. by then, adeline was a monkey jumping around the place, writhing on the floor, running from me. all this while i'm trying to feed amelia (thankfully! my grandma kindly said 'i think you should feed amelia , she only took a few ounces at the house' which was several hours ago...how long would we have gone before i remembered to feed millie?!).

i must have started to look a bit frazzled b/c the receptionist came over & whispered in my ear 'it's okay if she's loud; we think it's great to have them here' ...i think my eyes started twitching when she said this b/ci'm thinking, hhmm, how loud are they being? then another optician lady came over & read to adeline so i could feed amelia. then we were the last people in the office & i adeline was jumping in place which made amelia do non stop belly laughs, which made adeline continue jumping in place. by then two other doctors had made their way out into the waiting room & they were all just sort of watching adeline & amelia laughing & jumping & carrying on.

my poor grandma came out with a patch over her eye & i'm trying to figure out how i'm going to get everyone out the door & a nurse kindly offers to take amelia & help my grandma with her walker while i carry adeline (who by then was so in love with being the center of attention that she didn't want to leave & was trying to permanently attach herself to the waiting room chair). then my grandma wanted to treat us to sundaes from mcdonalds (well, adeline got fries b/c she doesn't like ice cream! strange kid, i know). i got home at 4:44.

the good thing is that being gone nearly all day made me not think about my funky eye stuff. AND did i mention that the eye doc called me back after wes called this morning to say i had questions. she called twice b/c the first time i apparently was a the gym (i didn't think she would call back that soon!) & she was in meetings all afternoon, but the doctor wanted someone to pass on to me that she will call me tomorrow & then the nurse said, 'i think she is guessing you are scared about all of this' & i said 'yea,i'm freaking out...did you know this could be MS?' & she laughed & said 'yes, i think this is exactly what she was worried about, but she doesn't want you to worry & she will call you tomorrow." at least i am providing comic relief to optometrist {spelling???} office workers.

there was also something i wanted to say about this article i read in a news magazine at the gym & then about obama's address last night, but i need to chillax, as the parsons say.

the ZAC's

yesterday was the gerwig family monthly meal, this time at my brother's house. we were surprised with a new couch & a new flat screen tv; lucky them! (but they work hard & deserve it, for sure). as for the title of this post, for those who don't know, the ZAC's are zoe, adeline, & chloe (my brother & his wife have the twin girls). we are trying to come up with a name to include amelia: zaac's? azac? zaca? hhmm.
anyway, chloe & zoe are twins & are 21 months old, adeline is just 8 months older, then amelia is 15 months younger than the twins. i wasn't sure when the time would come that they would be in the same age range for playing...but this month was it. they all were excited to see each other (i'm not including amelia here, but zoe & chloe were very excited to have millie around) & immediately started playing with each other. they actually got along really well. we have speculated that chloe & adeline may team up on zoe, the more quiet & reserved one of the 3...that sort of happened a few times, but zoe seems to be able to handle her own (us shy girls learn how to combat those 'other' girls at an early age, go zoe!). i have a feeling that in a few years, zoe & amelia may learn to team up on adeline & chloe...let the girl wars begin! anyway, i am really happy that they get along so well & have each other to hang out with & play with for the rest of their days.

we are sort of planning a first over-nighter with the three girls maybe this summer. my parents don't know this yet, but i think i have chosen their house to start the cousin overnight parties. i think that night i will be sleeping in my own bed ;o) i guess now the cats out of the bag. i think by that time, hopefully adeline will have some more words in her vocabulary & i'm guessing chloe & zoe will be zippy runners as well (right now adeline has the dexterity & speed, while chloe & zoe have the vocabulary...they all seem to have the devious toddler minds, though). i just smiled most of the drive home thinking about how much fun they will have together over the next decade...

some pictures from yesterday: gram mum & pop-pop getting their exercise sitting down with the girls.

& this is our pizza that was very yummy on friday night (we have home made pizza every friday...wes loves it. i am more into our cinnamon rolls on saturday morning!). it is caramelized onion & pear, home made alfredo sauce, with goat, fresh mozzarella, parmesan, & asiago cheese. i TOLD you i have an affair with cheese. during the pinnacle of our income days (read: no kids, double income), we always had about 14 different cheeses in our fridge. oh the glory of it all. adeline usually loves this pizza,but for some reason she refused to eat it on friday. durn child.

this was adeline being sad that this was the pizza of choice.

now i'm going to totally change the subject.

so with wes' office moving to delaware, which is about a 30-35 minute drive (with traffic congestion, ya know), we have thrown around the idea of moving our family to delaware. not now, but in a year or so, once we know this office change is permanent. (lol, it would just be our luck to move & then have the office move BACK to columbus!). when we were moving back to the columbus area from boise, idaho we thought about moving to delaware. i was more for it than wes at the time. but we chose westerville b/c it was so close to wes' office. hardy har har. oh, the irony.

i am sad & a bit happy about this possibility, conflicted. wes & i have often talked about how odd it is that we live so close to this huge shopping mecca: the polaris mall, all the shops & stores & lanes of traffic. we find it incredibly frustrating around the holidays to live & work here; it is impossible to go anywhere on polaris & don't even think about trying to go out to eat...every restaurant is packed & the mall playground has standing room only for the parents. living near this shopping mecca just doesn't fit with us. we don't like to shop, shop, shop & we are more into thrift stores & garage sales than pottery barn kids. we are constantly commenting about how annoying it is...but at the same time, the mall playground in my lifesaver with these little ladies. having 3 starbucks nearby to boost my energy level is also a great perk! we really love to walk to uptown westerville & have at least 4 parks within walking distance. amazing! & we have even come to like our formerly 'ugly' house a bit more...after all, we have put hours & hours of work into this place & have more hours left.

it would seem fitting that now that i'm finally getting around to painting our bedroom & when i have ordered asparagus roots to plant (it will take a year of trimming & waiting for the stalks to be edible)...we will move. this is the third time this will happen; we spend time & money on getting the veggie & flower & herb gardens just the way we want, you know, figure out the sun angles & what works best where & we will be coming upon the third season, when things really start to bloom...& we move. in clintonville, we left behind a stellar compost pile & a wonderful clematis. in boise, oh my, it's hard to remember the 14 rose bushes we dug up from my co-worker's yard & painstakingly replanted successfully in our yard & the stone edged herb garden (the stones i dug up from around the subdivision as houses were being built...i would wheel around our wheelbarrow & haul a hundred pounds of river rock around...i'm sure i looked very odd, but our stone edged gardens were beautiful, i have to say) & oh yes, the again stellar compost pile & dessert plants we learned how to grow after the first year & the finally blooming clematis...& & &...it hurts to remember all of those plants. & it hurts to remember all the hours of painting & decorating & planning. & now we may move again?!

i know a 30 minute commute may not sound very daunting to some...but to us it is. wes loves to come home during the afternoon to hang out with us for his lunch hour. that's just him...he's a very involved daddy & we love that about him. we also like the idea of living & working in the same community & once the bike path is finished, wes was going to start biking to work (i was not about to let him ride his bike on the roads near this shopping mecca...people don't care about bicyclists around here). it bites knowing that he will be using that much fuel & producing that much carbon, etc just to get to work.

but is it worth uprooting our family again? moving & paying moving & realtor costs & packing & explaining to adeline & millie why we are leaving another home & then repainting & replanting. & lets not forget wes' treasured hop hut! he has worked so hard on it & has somehow achieved the near impossible: growing over 9 feet of hops in the ohio climate. we would have so much to re-do. is it worth it? would we find a house with better soil for the veggies & flowers & hops? this would be the 3rd season for my new clematis...it may finally start to bloom. i just don't know if i can do it again, if i can move again. will we be lucky enough to get such wonderful neighbors for the 4th time? i don't know. we just don't know the answers yet.

we could find a new home that has more room for full sun flowers & veggies & maybe a house that fits our style a bit more (country-colonial is not us) or maybe a newer house or even an older one with more character. who knows what we would find. a bigger yard? a larger pantry? smaller rooms?

so this last part of the post was a bit jarbled & not very well organized...i think b/c we are still in the thinking process. only time will be our answer. how will wes do driving at least an hour a day, being away from us, not being able to make it to well baby appointments & seeing his girls only 2 hours a day before they head to bed for the night. that's just not us. damn this economy, ya know?!

pictures to save for future embarrassment

adeline has a slight knack for fashion & accessories. she immensely enjoys picking out her clothes in the morning & also picking out her pajamas at night. throughout the day she changes her pants or her top, or she just loses both throughout the house & goes around naked. the other day, monday to be exact, i was out having some no kid alone time & come home to find this picture: adeline's clothing choice of the day. it conjures up to thoughts: college spring break (go-go boots topped with 'hot pants' a la diaper, bling, & belly shirt); the other thought is mardi gras, of course. the shirt is actually amelia's & she somehow squeezed herself into that 9 month top. she's a hoot.

another funny addy story: we are using correct anatomy terms for reproductive organs (just in case they get hurt or something of that sort & are not home & go running to the school nurse & say "my hoo-hoo hurts" & it is also very helpful to use this to pick up on sexual abuse earlier.... as a social worker, this is important to me!). anyway, so i was giving adeline her bath the other night & as she was washing each body part, i would say it aloud. this can be a long & tedious time: chin, ear, nose, behind your ears, arm, elbow, armpit, knee, toes, etc etc etc. this time she pointed to her 'privates' as some call them & i replied 'vulva'. & the girl who rarely says anything except mama looked me stone in the face & said "vulva" & then smiled & nodded. she seemed very happy to have an official name for this area of her body. i gave her a high five for saying a word, of course, so now i'm sure we'll be at the mall playground & she'll just walk up to some poor unsuspecting kid & say one of her few words out loud, in front of all the other moms: vulva. of course! i'll let you know when it happens.

& this is another classic look: knee high socks, shoes, & diaper.

this is amelia's first official destruction of property. she was sitting in her bumbo on the counter while i was getting dinner ready. i was turned around & heard a big crash & my heart STOPPED thinking that she had fallen off the counter somehow...but nope, she had just reached behind her & pulled her bottles & equipment off. she has such an intense look on her face & she seemed VERY proud of herself. adeline & i cheered for her & her accomplishment.

yesterday my parents came for a little visit. my dad is still recovering from his ileostomy surgery in december & just started physical therapy this week. they haven't seen a lot of the girls this winter, so this was a much needed visit. as you can see, they had much fun: my dad is, YES, wearing adeline's pajama bottoms on his head & pretending that his head is running as he flaps the legs. there's adeline gobbling up this whole silly-silly situation, as we call it. then in the background you see millie sitting with gram-mum observing how silly-silly her sister & pop-pop are. addy didn't stop laughing for about 4 hours straight today & actually, amazingly took a nap.

this is addy attempting to put her pj's on her own head...she didn't quite understand that she should leave her eyes uncovered.
my dad snuggling amelia.
& here is the sad news we are dealing with right now:
wes is a structural engineer, as most of you know, & he works for weyerhauser (spelling is wrong, i'm sure). wednesday, he got to work & was told that he was to go with the office manager to a nearby hotel. once they got there, he saw his boss & other higher-ups who are not from columbus... at this time wes thought he was losing his job. long story short (aha! the short north version is useful again!), he still has his job & is only one of the 5 engineers out of 20. so he had to stand in the same room as 15 of his co-workers & even some work mentors were let go (& that's just in the columbus office; there are 3 other offices, all of which laid off the same amount of workers). these lay-offs are all due to bleak financials & the economy tumbling which is greatly impacting their construction market.

we are very thankful that he still has a job. very very thankful. he will be moving offices to delaware, ohio, which will be about a 35 minute commute, one way. again, still thankful to have a job (good thing he drives a car that is 15 years old & still gets 37 miles to a gallon!), but that commute is going to be a bummer. wes loves to come home for lunch & hang out with his girls, ya know! & we are having some severe 'survivor's guilt' here. today, as i shopped at trader joe's & then costco & picked up some extras that we really don't need to survive (okay, it was mostly cheese, but you have to understand my love affair with cheese) & i couldn't stop thinking about how these other 15 people are going to have a hard time paying for the basics of food & the stress they will be under trying to find a job right now.

i was nearly sick to my stomach when wes called to tell me what was going on. he could only talk for about 2 minutes, so i was left to wonder what he was going through. i mean, we know these 15 people, wes better than i, but we know them; they're not just some number being rattled off by a news anchor. we know some of these folks are newly pregnant & single, that another is in a master's program & so is his wife, that another has a toddler & a new baby & his wife may lose her job soon, that others feel this job defines their life (which is sad to begin with, but now even more so b/c it's gone). apparently, wes' military trained boss had a hard time telling everyone & wasn't able to get through the scripted speech before turning to stop himself from crying several times. it had to be a lonely & horrid experience to go through, as the person being fired, the person firing, the person who made the cut....so, survivor guilt is real & alive, even if it's just over a job kept compared to many jobs lost.

it just sucks, this economy sucks & the whole situation sucks. & i just saw on cnn news this line of bankers from wall street who act as if this economic collapse is the every day worker's fault, that they couldn't predict this would happen. i am so glad that they received that tongue lashing from d.c. folks; it probably won't get through to them, though. when i learned about the great depression, i always felt for the bankers who threw themselves out of windows & off of buildings...if that happened now, i'm not so sure i would feel as bad for them & their demise.

anyway, the mood in our house is depressing. good thing we have these hilarious girls around to keep us laughing.