here's to my oldest little girl...

...who's no longer a baby. at all. she no longer wants us to sing to her before naps or bed time! yea, wahhhhaaatt? she holds her hand over our mouth & says 'bebe, no no, bebe' as in saying 'that's for babies mama, please, i'm not a baby.' sigh. BUT she does want us to hum! i will hum as long as she lets me.

i'm trying to spend as much fun time with them as possible. which isn't very possible when everyone is sick & grumpy. grrr. even though my head is POUNDING from migraines & stress, it's time for me to let it go & just have fun with my girls.

so in honor of addy's new found level of girl-hood i am posting a timeline of pictures (she also gets her own snacks ready, not keeping it as clean as i would ya know, carries her plate to & from the table, drinks out of a regular cup, wants to do grown-up things like wash dishes & sweep the floor, etc. i could go on & on, but you may get bored). i am just floored how much she has matured this past year. & i'm sure once she's in preschool i will be overcome with her abilities & independence. but it's all good & part of the process of raising kids, eh?

adeline in utero, august 2006. payette (????) river, idaho (gah! did we really live so near a place that beautiful?!)

the proud daddy after adeline was born, sept 2006. he was singing a u2 song to her while she sucked on his finger (adeline hardly slept at all during her first 2 weeks of life...sucking/eating constantly, wow is that hard to remember).
adeline around 2 1/2 weeks old. see: finally sleeping after two weeks.
one of adeline's MANY MANY MANY poop blowouts. i'm sorry for those who find this disgusting, in my mama mind it's funny to think i actually took a picture of something like this & find it humorous still.

baby beauty, august 2007

just 1 of her 1 year photos. she *loves* being upside down.

karate addy. one of my top ten favorite pictures of adeline. it captures her spirit.
september 2007

the last night of breastfeeding. i was for sure more upset about it than she was.
october 2007

um, winter 2008
2nd sled ride & she loved it.

april, 2008
sweetie pie with her first boo-boo on her upper nose & this was taken minutes before the first really bloody boo boo on the concrete steps (yes, it did take that long to get a real boo boo...which is amazing for how daring she is)

april, 2009
becoming my big girl.

i immensely enjoy spending time with adeline. it's shocking to acknowledge that wes & i are responsible for her upbringing...an awing task. she is such a sunny, inspired, independent, & loving kid. although she has her moments of the typical 'mine mine mine' attitude towards other kids (esp amelia!) she is the first to notice when someone else is hurting (emotionally or physically) & i am so proud of that ability for her. i keep finding myself looking forward to learning more about her as she continues to learn more words & interact with us & everyone around her.

when addy was a baby i could not go anywhere without getting stopped several times with someone, even men of all ages, telling me how special & beautiful she is. i was like 'yea i know, why are you talking to me?' but that's just the truth of adeline. she is that & more.

it pains me recently to see how shy she is becoming...fearful of kids her age. i don't know exactly what the reason is behind this new found fear & anxiety (i'm guessing it has something to do with her speech delay & also just her new understanding of social interaction recently). i am trying everything i know of to keep her from going the route of shyness; i know from experience that it's not a good thing most of the time. i am praying that god sends a wonderful friend to her soon, someone she can trust & have grand fun times with.
adeline, i love you more than simple blog words can describe. i hope & pray that we continue to have a loving, honest, interactive!, & fun relationship based on mutual trust.

& now your wee sis is waking up from her short nap (this travesty has been going on all week! lordy lordy, do i need a day that doesn't involve wrestling sick kids to take a nap, esp this week).

oh my...

...the emotions of a 2 year old. oh my. OH. MY.

it's like a tiny teenager. but this tiny teenager has a hard time with speech. & can't tell her mama what the heck is going on in that mind of hers & its killing her today, that tiny teenager, she's sorta withering inside & it's showing on her outside. from tiny teenager angst? i don't know, but this tiny teenager certainly can't have anymore tears left, not after this morning.

i need to make posters. posters that have pictures of everything from which snack she is wanting to what toy she wants to find that is somehow in hiding. tiny teens pick up on emotions from adults very quickly so this mama is trying my *hardest* to be a rock she can lean on, but i may just be a rock that is disintegrating (sand rock?). oi vey.

i know in my inner heart & mind that i will handle the real teen years much better than these tiny teen years.

pictures from our past weekend

picture time!

amelia the moving-millie-monster!
she loved to crawl over the grass & concrete & get everyone to smile at her. oh yea, she also loves to pull out her grandma sue's beautiful flowers. (we are 100% sure her grandma still loves her, though.)

amelia, nearly 10 months.

addy, 11 months. crawling under the same chair/table as amelia's above picture.

***
cleveland zoo!

taking a break to eat some serious ben & jerry's ice cream! yum-yum-yumminy!
grandma sue & adeline (millie is konked out in the stroller to the left, look closely...so cute)

look how huge addy's cone is! this was the kid's size! she's trying her hardest to get it all...

addy's *GOTTA SEE* the gorillas & monkeys! geesh.

it was nap time for most of the animals.

our happy baby millie.

checking out the sea lions with mama.

for this picture wes & sue kept asking addy to smile & she wouldn't (oh, tad bit grumpy-bear-addy?). so i smiled for her.
THEN, sue went to buy some of the feed for the sea lions, totally unbeknownst to her it was DEAD FISH! so over she walks to us holding 3 little dead fish in her hand. how gross! *gag* what a grandma you have, girls. i would've taken one look at them & told them to keep the money i just gave them, there's no way i'm touching those fisheeees.

grandma & the amelia-beauty. (look at her legs! how cute?!)

mama & adeline checking out the giraffs. addy *loved* them.

what other zoo highlights?
well, somehow we managed to end up at the nastiest food joint there was at the zoo & i think all the adults felt sick after eating that food. which is just sorta funny to remember. we all had this *ICK* look on our faces & the girls had this *YUM* look.

the cleveland zoo is much bigger than the columbus zoo. thankfully, wes & sue felt my tumor was serious enough that i didn't have to push the pack-muled strollers up the steep hills. lol.

addy loves the big birds, like geese, ducks, etc. this is how it goes: point & squeal. she also loves the big cats (tigers, lions, etc) & can make their noises (which for us is an accomplishment). i think at her speech playgroup on thursday, where the theme of the day is "zoo", adeline will have many stories to share.

amelia mostly just hung out in her stroller, happy to watch the world going by. we got her out to crawl around a few times & she was thrilled to discover that *gasp* the cleveland zoo has grass, also!

the sad part is that we had originally planned to make zoo day friday, but the stormy/torrential rain diswayed us. so we had to go on saturday instead...what is unfortunate about this: wes' dad could only come with us on friday, so he missed out on the zoo trip! throughout the day, addy kept say "papaw?" & putting her arms up in question, ya know, 'where is he? where's papaw?' maybe that's why she refused to smile for the camera that day? her papaw was missing...

it was a good day. we all even avoided getting sun burnt! which is pretty amazing considering out skin...towards the end of the visit, i pulled out my gi-normous sun hat that shades about 10 feet around me (kidding, but it is rather large) & i felt better. so then addy followed suit & donned her hat. amelia, not so much. we put her had on. she took it off with a snarky smile. we put her hat on again for kicks. she took it off with more *umph* than before.

where did my kids learn this attitude from? lol.

***
dad's birthday!

how did we miss getting any good pictures of wes ALL WEEKEND?! well, i do have one of him bending over the strawberry patch, but it shows his undies & his behind only. i'm guessing i am one of the onlies to find this picture enticing, *smile*.

as usual, we had STEAK that was delish, with grilled veggies, garlic mashed potatoes, & then pan-fried yellow squash with parmesan cheese atop. THEN, of course, we had DQ ice cream cake. (for the first few years we were married, i spent hours baking a yummy cake for wes' birthdays. he would fane (spelling?) a smile & eat it & say 'yes this is very good'. finally i asked what the hell? why aren't you happy with your birthday cake?' he finally told me that the only cake he wants for his birthday is specifically dq ice cream cake. the past few years, his smile over his cake is much bigger & real. *sigh* i will have to try my culinary ventures on the girls). i KNOW i took a picture of this cake, b/c it had this thing on it that said "i love my daddy" & it was so cute & wes was very happy with it, but those pics are not on picasa?! did they not upload? i must investigate this siutation.

anyway, this was amelia eating dad's birthday cake.

addy didn't want her picture taken that evening.

***
adeline's actually been VERY moody the past week or more (uh, more than just normal little preschool girl moody, much more). i'm thinking she is sensing & overhearing some of the stuff about harold & i. oh yea, & the fact that her mama goes into crying fits about 3 or 4 times a day? maybe that also.

last night after addy cried & cried for an hour trying to get to sleep, i went in to see what the deal was. she snuggled up to me like a leach & just held onto me (similar to how she went down for a nap today also). addy has always been one to fall asleep on her own, but now she wants ME (not wes, it has to be me) to hold her hand, cuddle with her until she is dead asleep. it breaks my heart b/c i see this change in behavior & it is very plausible that it's b/c of our family being thrown into a traumatizing event in life. so then wes joined us (after getting millie to sleep, who we think is sick in some way & wes is taking her to the ped's this morning as i type) & we talked to adeline about mama being a bit sick, that it's my ear & my head & mama will be seeing a doctor to get it fixed. addy then went into her shouting "daddy fix it" & throwing her arms up & down like a hammer, just like my mom taught her. wes said 'i wish daddy could fix it, but a doctor has to fix it'... addy had the most sorrowful look on her face & started to stroke my cheek & ear & leg & pat my head & in her own language she started to babble a bit. my mama heart is telling me she was comforting me, giving me words of wisdom that only a preschooler can give. i wish i could understand them b/c they may be the most comforting ones of all. at any rate, her caring attitude towards me lets me know that we're sorta doing this parenting thing right.

& we're in a heat wave! have i ever mentioned that i am NOT a summer person? i could live in alaska or northern michigan or canada & be perfectly happy with the cool/warm summers. i hate the heat. & the past few years i've broken down & worn shorts & skirts. still hate the heat. i prefer to be bundled up in sweaters & blankets & snow boots, thank you very much. what's the worst is that here in the midwest, the heat is HUMID. it's not like boise, which wasn't so bad comparatively considering the low low humidity. & in idaho it seemed there was nearly always a breeze. anyway, this heat wave in late june is just plain annoying to me. i mean, who wants to sweat after being outside for 2 minutes? who wants to get sun burnt after 10 minutes (that may just be me, so yea, nevamind). & lets not get into the ickiness of sunscreen! it makes me & the girls look like we have grease on us. & i feel it, too. gross. heat, go away.

***
wes just pulled in with the baby, must go see what the prognosis is.

little miss sunshine from westerville

ever since i saw little miss sunshine i have pictured that little girl as adeline. it just seems to fit. addy's personality is popping out all over the place right now & it's so much fun to see. today, the roto tiller guy (we don't own a roto tiller, so we paid some dude $50 to do it for us! yea!) anyway, this guy who was a grandpa himself kept saying how happy & sunny adeline was...our neighbor who was outside working most of the day also made that comment today, as did the workers at the gym day care. people just smile at adeline & i love it b/c i know her giddy personality is FOR SURE transferable.

so here's a new one: we think adeline has an imaginary friend. for quite some time she's been saying this word: guy-ga. i have tried to figure out who or what she is talking about & can't come up with anything! so tonight after her bath she's looking into the mirror & laughing hysterically & then starts babbling away & laughs again. this goes on for a minute or two & she keeps pointing at the mirror & saying 'GUY-GA!' so i ask what is guy-ga. she points to herself in the mirror & says 'guy-ga' & then claps & does a little dance. i ask if guy-ga is herself in the mirror & she shakes her head 'no!' & then i ask if guy-ga is a person & she nods. then i ask her guy-ga is her friend & she nods again. & then laughs, of course.

she then again keeps babbling away towards the mirror & then away from the mirror, as if she's talking to someone. this is amazingly humorous to watch, i'm telling you. i believe i have read that imaginary friends often start around age 3, but i guess 2 1/2 is workable. i did ask a few others questions about this guy-ga character & i will continue to investigate their friendship to see if it is indeed an imaginary friend & then also if this friend is worthy enough to be addy's first good friend. i promise you i will never buy a car seat or set up a meal for this guy-ga, though. that seems a bit creepy. but i'm all for imagination.

in other news...we bought an ottoman from target tonight. & it stinks! then i remembered my friend becky's blog post about returning an ottoman to target a few weeks after they bought it b/c of the smell. why doesn't my memory work faster, like when we were in the store ready to purchase this ottoman? anyway, we will be gone this weekend, so i'm hoping the smell will be gone by our return.

in addition to waving, wes also thinks that amelia can give high-5's. he even showed me & she sort of slapped him one. waving, high-5's, eating solids (which today she had sweet potato chunks & loved them, but sorta gagged when swallowing. i guess that's the price you pay for wanting to eat chunks of food as a babe).

and wes is sooo proud: this roto tiller guy talked about the amazing near acre garden he & his wife have & how they compost & such...& he complimented wes on our garden soil & compost (wes had put compost down to be tilled under). he was beaming, i tell you. wes is fairly new to the veggie gardening trade & i must say he is a quick learner.

& we purchased portable dvd players for the car. we caved & did it...i just can't take another near 3 hour car ride in the back seat trying to keep adeline from melting down. she has hated being in a car seat since day 1, literally (on the drive home from the birthing center, she screamed the entire 35 minutes...& not the new baby wee little cry, it was amazingly loud & highly alarming as new parents & she has been that way in the car seat since then. it's amazing we still have our sanity intact). so an hour or so of dora doesn't seem like such a bad thing compared to the alternatives.

& we're off to avon lake tomorrow! have a good weekend.