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i am finally into part 2 of this adrenal fatigue book & it included a questionnaire about symptoms (past & present) & one symptom is brain fog or confusion or just inability to think at times. *bingo*, that's me the past while (i'm saying my date of starting to feel *differently* was at the beginning of my pregnancy with amelia). so i take the questionnaire & put the numbers in the spaces to add. my-holy-goodness do i suck at even simple addition! it took me nearly 2 minutes to add up to 62. i had to do 8 columns of addition! yes! thankfully one column only went up to 9 total points. i kept thinking where is wes when i really need him?! where is my human calculator?!
then, folks, then i read the directions which, of course, i should have read before, but, hey...it's just addition, right?! fiddlesticks, i did it wrong. seriously, why give such confusing directions to people with symptoms of confusion & brain fog?! i gave up & took a shower instead. (a hot-hot-hot one. think: hot tub jacuzzi water being poured onto your head for 20 minutes. blissful. & it really helps my muscles relax, which is great b/c i've been trying to get rid of a headache for 3 hours now. it's on the verge of a migraine, but i am fighting it off with rest, heat therapy (shower!), & drinking lots of water).
anyway, all that to say that i'm working on my goals for this week, so obviously the reading part is happening. AND after lunch i sat down to check my email & amelia walked up to the computer desk, pointed to it & then pointed to me & said 'mama'! i don't know exactly what she meant but i think she's catching on...
and. adeline was up around 5 a.m. this morning so after being home from school for 35 minutes (long enough to watch an episode of calliou--not my favorite for sure) & then tell me that the hot dog, pear, & hummus i had for her lunch was not what she wanted. she then went to the couch to cry & pout, so i let her go & she fell asleep! she's just now waking up & i am anticipating a very hungry preschooler.
***
last night i went to my church (vineyard chuch of columbus) for bi-monthly soaking prayer with my 3 ladies. what is terrible is that i can only remember one of the women's name! very very rude & horrible b/c they've been praying for me the past 3 months & i just now can't say 'hey, i didn't catch your names...' i really am terrible at remembering names. *so sorry my prayer ladies*. so last night was a goody & one of the ladies (whose name i know, but will not divulge) had a vision & i also had a vision that i believe was god-given (b/c i would not see myself doing this if it were not for god *for sure*). her vision was that jesus had a santa claus-like present bag & it was filled with gifts to give me. well, yipee! was my response. bring it on, eh? so more prayer occurred & then here it is, my vision : a jesus-looking man (lol, not white, blond, w/ blue eyes) was standing over a large burlap sack filled with something i couldn't see. i was standing next to him & suddenly he started to give me the things inside the bag & it was known to me that i was to give this 'thing' out to people. i look down & this 'thing' is a dead fish, the kind you would eat complete with the open eye... (*but i would never eat it, my friends, b/c i hate fish; all things fish disgusts me--even the aquarium kind. i'm not afraid of them, they're just gross to me. yea, may be girly, but...). back to it: so i realize i have fish in my hands & instead of being all grossed out i turn around see a large crowd of people sitting on a grassy hill & i start to hand out & toss the fish to people, who are eagerly taking the fish. & it went like that, jesus just kept handing me fish & i kept handing them to other people.
hhhmmm...now for the interpretation, eh?
***
i noticed last week that i failed to take a 4-month-post-surgery picture. but really, you can't even tell i had skull surgery. i guess if you took the time to look for the scar you would see it, but it's not like you can tell through my hair. which is good, that makes me feel less like a beacon of pity when i know everyone isn't checking out my scar & wondering why someone cut into my skull.
so. one thing i'm learning this past 6 months (since learning of that blasted tumor) is to take it easy...especially since this whole adrenal fatigue/fibromyalgia stuff really made my life miserable. i wouldn't consider myself a 'type a' person or anything, but i have for sure learned to just relax & take stress cues. but there are a few times throughout the month that i have a really hard time: monday evenings & the 28th of each month. driving home from thanksgiving, as i was sitting in the car with my eyes closed (to keep nausea at bay...why do i get car sick now instead of when i was little?!) anyway, i had my eyes closed & i just kept seeing & going through the whole morning of the surgery & waking up from it all. i couldn't stop crying & then it dawned on me: it's the 28th, 4 months exactly after my surgery. it just happens without me even knowing the date or whatever. so it's good that prayer went well last night b/c sometimes monday nights are just really terrible. complete with me crying & doing stress-reducing mind exercises or watching tons of tv or taking my pills early & going to bed super early. anyway, last night was the first of these certain days--mondays or 28th--that i didn't have anxiety remembering the surgery or crying for no reason, etc. so this is progress.
what is *not* progress?! me still having this terrible headache, adeline waking up & demanding to watch the dora dvd her grandparents mailed her (she says 'oohhh, thank you', sue & bruce) & then amelia also waking up, crying. all within 3 minutes. & it's only 2:40. not progress. i think i will take you up on that migraine pill, mr. medicine cabinet.
then, folks, then i read the directions which, of course, i should have read before, but, hey...it's just addition, right?! fiddlesticks, i did it wrong. seriously, why give such confusing directions to people with symptoms of confusion & brain fog?! i gave up & took a shower instead. (a hot-hot-hot one. think: hot tub jacuzzi water being poured onto your head for 20 minutes. blissful. & it really helps my muscles relax, which is great b/c i've been trying to get rid of a headache for 3 hours now. it's on the verge of a migraine, but i am fighting it off with rest, heat therapy (shower!), & drinking lots of water).
anyway, all that to say that i'm working on my goals for this week, so obviously the reading part is happening. AND after lunch i sat down to check my email & amelia walked up to the computer desk, pointed to it & then pointed to me & said 'mama'! i don't know exactly what she meant but i think she's catching on...
and. adeline was up around 5 a.m. this morning so after being home from school for 35 minutes (long enough to watch an episode of calliou--not my favorite for sure) & then tell me that the hot dog, pear, & hummus i had for her lunch was not what she wanted. she then went to the couch to cry & pout, so i let her go & she fell asleep! she's just now waking up & i am anticipating a very hungry preschooler.
***
last night i went to my church (vineyard chuch of columbus) for bi-monthly soaking prayer with my 3 ladies. what is terrible is that i can only remember one of the women's name! very very rude & horrible b/c they've been praying for me the past 3 months & i just now can't say 'hey, i didn't catch your names...' i really am terrible at remembering names. *so sorry my prayer ladies*. so last night was a goody & one of the ladies (whose name i know, but will not divulge) had a vision & i also had a vision that i believe was god-given (b/c i would not see myself doing this if it were not for god *for sure*). her vision was that jesus had a santa claus-like present bag & it was filled with gifts to give me. well, yipee! was my response. bring it on, eh? so more prayer occurred & then here it is, my vision : a jesus-looking man (lol, not white, blond, w/ blue eyes) was standing over a large burlap sack filled with something i couldn't see. i was standing next to him & suddenly he started to give me the things inside the bag & it was known to me that i was to give this 'thing' out to people. i look down & this 'thing' is a dead fish, the kind you would eat complete with the open eye... (*but i would never eat it, my friends, b/c i hate fish; all things fish disgusts me--even the aquarium kind. i'm not afraid of them, they're just gross to me. yea, may be girly, but...). back to it: so i realize i have fish in my hands & instead of being all grossed out i turn around see a large crowd of people sitting on a grassy hill & i start to hand out & toss the fish to people, who are eagerly taking the fish. & it went like that, jesus just kept handing me fish & i kept handing them to other people.
hhhmmm...now for the interpretation, eh?
***
i noticed last week that i failed to take a 4-month-post-surgery picture. but really, you can't even tell i had skull surgery. i guess if you took the time to look for the scar you would see it, but it's not like you can tell through my hair. which is good, that makes me feel less like a beacon of pity when i know everyone isn't checking out my scar & wondering why someone cut into my skull.
so. one thing i'm learning this past 6 months (since learning of that blasted tumor) is to take it easy...especially since this whole adrenal fatigue/fibromyalgia stuff really made my life miserable. i wouldn't consider myself a 'type a' person or anything, but i have for sure learned to just relax & take stress cues. but there are a few times throughout the month that i have a really hard time: monday evenings & the 28th of each month. driving home from thanksgiving, as i was sitting in the car with my eyes closed (to keep nausea at bay...why do i get car sick now instead of when i was little?!) anyway, i had my eyes closed & i just kept seeing & going through the whole morning of the surgery & waking up from it all. i couldn't stop crying & then it dawned on me: it's the 28th, 4 months exactly after my surgery. it just happens without me even knowing the date or whatever. so it's good that prayer went well last night b/c sometimes monday nights are just really terrible. complete with me crying & doing stress-reducing mind exercises or watching tons of tv or taking my pills early & going to bed super early. anyway, last night was the first of these certain days--mondays or 28th--that i didn't have anxiety remembering the surgery or crying for no reason, etc. so this is progress.
what is *not* progress?! me still having this terrible headache, adeline waking up & demanding to watch the dora dvd her grandparents mailed her (she says 'oohhh, thank you', sue & bruce) & then amelia also waking up, crying. all within 3 minutes. & it's only 2:40. not progress. i think i will take you up on that migraine pill, mr. medicine cabinet.
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