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this is where my kids currently are: in the pack n play. until their aunt kristi arrives to bring sanity to my world.
yesterday amelia dumped addy's cereal bowl & managed to swim around in the cereal mess on the carpet. then after i cleaned that up & got crying adeline another bowl of cereal & was taking amelia upstairs to get new *dry* clothes on her, she grabbed my cup of coffee out of my freakin hand & launched it onto the floor. *an entire cup of coffee onto the floor* so i put her down & cleaned that up, got more coffee & this time let her climb up the stairs by herself. halfway up, she grabbed for my coffee AGAIN & spilled it. i'm telling you she has ninja quick moves, nothing like i've ever seen before & something my post-tumor physical responses can't match. then i get her cleaned up & am still trying to be all motherly & tickle her nose & what does she do in response? tears my glasses off my face & throws them on the ground. kind & motherly left the house at that point.
this morning, as i was finally figuring out that patrick swayze died & watched a short 2 minute clip from that dancing movie of his (that i never got to watch. never.) amelia went all baby destroyer droid on me & decided to take out a houseplant. in stealth mode. i finally noticed at the end of the clip, after she had been tugging on my pant leg for a few seconds & i was like 'what's all that black stuff on amelia?' OH SHIT.
there was a trail of destruction leading from the plant--which she has never shown ANY interest in before--& mounds of dirt. i had cleaned most of it up before i decided to take a picture. she is covered in dirt. she needs a bath.
i need my anxiety medication. i called my mom, a mom friend, (already talked to wes) & no one answered. so i called my sister & she was all 'I'M ON MY WAY OVER' & maybe a slight hint of 'don't kill your kids before i get there'. did i mention that adeline had a THREE FREAKIN HOUR TANTRUM LAST NIGHT?! 3 hours. of her crying, kicking things, throwing things, refusing to do anything remotely resembling calming down. she cried in her bed for 2 hours after that. wes & i went to bed feeling like the worst parents in the world.
this morning, as i was finally figuring out that patrick swayze died & watched a short 2 minute clip from that dancing movie of his (that i never got to watch. never.) amelia went all baby destroyer droid on me & decided to take out a houseplant. in stealth mode. i finally noticed at the end of the clip, after she had been tugging on my pant leg for a few seconds & i was like 'what's all that black stuff on amelia?' OH SHIT.
there was a trail of destruction leading from the plant--which she has never shown ANY interest in before--& mounds of dirt. i had cleaned most of it up before i decided to take a picture. she is covered in dirt. she needs a bath.
i need my anxiety medication. i called my mom, a mom friend, (already talked to wes) & no one answered. so i called my sister & she was all 'I'M ON MY WAY OVER' & maybe a slight hint of 'don't kill your kids before i get there'. did i mention that adeline had a THREE FREAKIN HOUR TANTRUM LAST NIGHT?! 3 hours. of her crying, kicking things, throwing things, refusing to do anything remotely resembling calming down. she cried in her bed for 2 hours after that. wes & i went to bed feeling like the worst parents in the world.
so then i get off the phone with my sister this morning, got some more coffee, must have taken my glasses off? went upstairs to take an anxiety pill *b/c who doesn't need one in times like these?!* found the pill, my cup for water, put more water in the cup, unbeknownst to me dumped the water out, popped the pill in my mouth & then tried to take a drink from the empty cup. then i realized i couldn't even see a damn thing *where are my glasses?!* & then filled the cup up, etc. went looking for my glasses & found them by the coffee pot.
& now i'm just waiting for my sister to come over & give some comic relief & minor therapy & maybe she'll get crazy & do a baby snatch or something. but seriously, *what's up with my kids?!* amelia already climbs up onto the stool for adeline & knows how to turn water on & off & was playing in the water this morning (before plant incident). smart or mischievous?
& now i'm just waiting for my sister to come over & give some comic relief & minor therapy & maybe she'll get crazy & do a baby snatch or something. but seriously, *what's up with my kids?!* amelia already climbs up onto the stool for adeline & knows how to turn water on & off & was playing in the water this morning (before plant incident). smart or mischievous?
7 comments:
OK, so I WANT to be all supportive, but all I can focus on is your never seeing Swayze's "dancing movie." Are you serious?! You've never seen Dirty Dancing?! How is that even possible?
Here is my prescription: Sweet talk your sister into watching your clever, rotten girls and go watch Dirty Dancing now. Netflix Watch-Now probably has it. TBS might be running loops of it in honor of Swayze's death. Rent it. I guarantee it will make you feel better. It's too cheesy not to.
Yowzers Heidi!..I think they've figured out how to coordinate attacks and gang up on you. They do look sooo rotten in the pack and play, and cute! But I'm sure I only say cute right now because I didn't witness any of this first hand. I love the part about " a hint of don't kill your kids", something we could never understand until having kids:)
Not for publishing...
ahhh...I feel like crapola. My phone was at the house when I took the boys to school. I just found out a bit ago that you tried to call me. So sorry. I hope your day becomes much better.
Lord, have mercy on this family and I lift Heidi up to you now. Bring peace to her household, give her patience today.
Do you need that dinner? I make a hell of a loaf of bread in my bread machine!
Call me when things settle down.
You've got a lot going on - I'm with Hillary, get your sister to spend a day with her adorable neices so that you can escape into a movie!!! Or go for a walk or to a coffee shop or take a nap :)
Yes. Escape now and feel better. I think they are normal, at least compared to my kids. This morning I found Jude running with two steak knives, and Sylvie partially flooded my bathroom floor. And yesterday I lost my temper and yelled at Jude, and then spent a few hours feeling crappy, and then apologized, and he was all, "Mommy, I forgive you. I was just trying to cheer you up." The "cheering up" referencing his naughty behavior. Ah well.
Want to come to the drop-in thingy on Wednesday morning?
Remember dear Arlene McWilliams telling the church one time that when her kids were all little, sometimes she put up the playpen and SHE got in it to do her writing, etc.
They look so sweet in the playpen...but can be a tornado of destruction underneath! I feel for you, somedays just seem to get messier and messier. I often wonder, how many times will Audrey spill my water glass today? Sure is tough being the Momma and being in charge (and mature?) when somedays you just want to sit in the middle of the floor and have a mini-tantrum yourself. I keep a stash of candy bars and give myself a time-out somedays for a quick Mommy-break...my mood always improves after a Snickers ")
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